Three times is the Charm-Battling Obesity and Becoming an Ironman

What a long strange year its been

2011-09-30T14:41:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone....no....I didn't forget about this blog...and no, I didn't fall off the face of the earth. What I have been doing for the last few months has been an eye opener and hopefully will be life changing.

This was to be my Ironman year but shortly after my Gulf Coast Triathlon Half Ironman distance finish in May 2011, I started suffering from some hardcore fatigue. My muscles ached....all I wanted to do was sleep and my workouts were only getting part done.

On Memorial Day, I fell off a jetski with my friend at Lake Gaston NC. It wasn't a major fall, we just tipped the watercraft over but the next day, my right leg was dark black from a serious bruise. I knew then and there I needed to get my iron checked.

My iron levels were so low, I got an iron infusion just a few days later. This is when you get iron injections in your rump and they run an IV with iron direct into the veins. This brought my levels up...but they were still pretty low. I was healthy enough to start diving again....but training for an Ironman was once again on hold.

My doctors up at Duke made it simple: I had to stop my training at the Ironman distance. My knees were a mess, I was anemic and once again, they were battling the same issues with my thyroid. I have heard all this in the past with the same suggest: "Melissa, you have to lose weight".

My addictive side doesn't want to hear that you are going to take away all that food that brings me comfort. My competitive side just wants to push through it...and push forward...and attempt to complete my dream.

My doctor finally got through this time...and I mean he really did. He told me I was trying to "Race a Limo"...instead of a normal size vehicle. If I really wanted this dream, I HAD TO STOP...stop racing...and focus on weight loss. I cried for a few days. My coach was sympathetic without babying me...the perfect combination. I was allowed to train for Ironman 70.3 Augusta but it had to be using an elliptical and not running on the road and my other workouts were reduced. Suddenly...the drop in workout hours helped my body return to a normal iron level and let my joints rest. I finally felt like me again.

I competed in and completed Ironman Augusta 70.3 (that race report will be under a different blog entry) even though I was removed from the course in sight of the finish line due to a tornado watch and a lightning strike that started a building fire just 2 blocks from the finish line. I proud to inform you that I was not last...but I was definitely at the very back of the pack. If I had been allowed to finish, I would have beat the cut off by 25 minutes and I would have set a personal record.

This, however, is where my journey to Ironman must detour. I PROMISED my doctor...no more Ironman until I lose 40lbs. He is ok with the shorter distance races but my body, with a gastric bypass, can not properly fuel itself when attempting the long distance course. This is why my iron drops, my joints ache (more than the typical athlete) and I put my health at risk. I took the plunge in doing the gastric bypass to MAKE myself healthy and, although the Ironman is my dream, I have to put the safety of my body first.

So...2 half ironmans, 3 half marathons, 3 olympic distance triathlon and one sprint distance triathlon later...my year has been a full one....and a satisfying one. I have met incredible people on the Tri With Sway team that have really been a great support and I have learned a lot about my limits and abilities. I am proud of my work this year...and I refuse to step away from a life goal even if it means 2011 is not my Ironman year.

So..for now...you can watch my blog as I return to Structure House in Durham NC to get a jumpstart on my weight loss, undergo knee surgery (we will see what the MRI says Monday), survive dental surgery and get 40 pounds lighter..like I promised...so I can hear them say "Melissa Daly...you are an Ironman".

Checking in for a check up

2011-06-21T17:49:00.000-07:00

What would you do if you KNEW you could not fail.....

Well...its been a few weeks if not months since I wrote here. I think the emergence of Facebook in my life has taken me away from this blog. Call me crazy...but I love keeping up with my friends, posting pictures and such....but...when I need to really work some things out on paper (or computer screen)...I always find my way back to my blog.

Its been hard for me to write these last few weeks. I have been focused on many different things including family, training, work, home and life in general. It's been a hectic life the last few weeks.

In May...my husband lost his dearest Uncle...Monsignor Tom Daly. Not only was the Monsignor a significant role model in my husband's life, but he held a soft spot in my heart. He was an incredibly intelligent man with a passion for life and his faith. It was a blow to our family and he is missed. The weeks leading up to his departure from this earth were stressful...but it showed me how very fleeting life is and how we must do the things that are important to us ....

While in Boston with my husband's family, I had to adapt my training. Im not really use to running in the snow...or swimming with 2 feet of snow piled up next to the windows of the pool deck...but there I was...riding a indoor trainer, running on the treadmill...and adapting. Two weeks of my training was spent in a hotel pool and fitness center...the best I could do given the circumstances.

On the heels of our Uncles death came the Gulf Coast Triathlon. I usually write a whole race report on the major races in my year...and maybe I will for this one...but the long and short of it...I took 21 minutes off my time. A huge victory for me...but my times are still slower than what I need to complete the Ironman in 17 hours.

I still continue to struggle with weight but I am happy to report that I have been successful in maintaining my weight within 7 pounds since my major 30 pound loss last summer. Sure, I would love to be lighter....I would love to be leaner....but I consider the maintenance of a weight loss a success and I wish to continue the weight loss THIS summer.

In a few weeks, I will return to Structure House...a weight loss facilities that treats people with eating disorders in Durham NC. Ill be going back for 2 to 3 weeks. While I am there, I will continue to train...and hopefully continue this weight loss that I started last year.

As I write, I see so many positive things that have happened to me this year...this Ironman year...but after this last week of training...it makes me wonder....will I ever be fast enough. Will I ever beat that cut off....will I make it to that "promise land" before the clock strikes midnight.

So...as I was walking by my fridge trying not to think about the snack I really don't need, I saw a magnet that I have had on their for years with the quote that started this blog entry....

What WOULD you do if you knew you would not fail?? Its simple. I would do what I am doing right now....I would be working on becoming and Ironman and being at the lowest weight I can to accomplish that goal.

So throw fear aside even though..at this moment...it is eating me up inside...and go for your dreams. Somebody please tell me Im not crazy for having this dream. Five years ago, I had a trainer tell me I would never complete a half Ironman....to date I have completed 6...so why not this?? Why not the Ironman?? Why not now???

You gotta own it...

2011-03-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

It's the moments when no one is looking that makes you who you are. I am a firm believer in that. Everyone remembers the moment of crossing the finish line at Ironman...many are there to cheer and scream...but what A LOT of people don't understand is that, it isn't that moment that makes you an Ironman...its the times that people don't see that does.

I had a moment like that today...fighting the wind...cursing the air moving about me as I made it through my first LONG bike ride (50 miles) of this Ironman season. And when I say I CURSED...Im not lying. If you had pasted me on the road, you would have had me committed. The first 20 miles...no sweat. The next 10...well...I felt it...the last miles to the goal...they were Hell. My quads and hamstrings hurt and then it hit me...its been awhile since I went this far. Ive been enjoying those 20 to 25 mile bike workouts throughout 2010 that got me through Olympic Distance races. You lose fitness over time...and I have lost that endurance that I had in 2009...

But it doesn't mean I can't get it back..

So you got to own your limitations....you gotta believe you can be better....and you gotta have the guts to reach down and continue when it hurts....and when no one is cheering you on..

Train Hard...Race Easy....and keep the vision of that Ironman finish in the forefront of your mind

The Princess Half Marathon and creating the new ME

2011-03-17T07:21:00.000-07:00

Well...its been awhile...a little over two months...but Im happy to say that I haven't written here because Ive been busy...on the road...in the water...and on my feet...

Ive been building ME...this is the Me that has doubted my ability to do Ironman. This is the ME that doubts herself A LOT. This is the ME that stands on a start line and thinks..."Do I listen to my head...or my heart."

I now listen to my heart a lot more.

I did the Princess Half Marathon at Walt Disney World with some of my dearest friends...one a breast cancer survivor doing her first half marathon..and others who have completed multiple half marathons...and my brother in law who has a talent to complete 13 miles in 90 minutes. I stood on that start line and thought...."just go with it Melissa...just have fun." As fate would have it, my GPS would not function and I could not focus on my pace. I had to run by feel...and it forces me to focus on something other than...the numbers.

By mile 10...I realized that if I pushed, I could have a PR...but my main goal is to do well at the Gulf Coast Triathlon in May. This race was about being able to enjoy the moment. So I took it easy. For the first time in all my Disney races, I took pictures with the characters and enjoyed the sights and sounds that are Disney. I know a lot of runners don't like Disney races but since I am a cast member, I am proud of my place of employment. As we entered mile 12 and Epcot, we entered the gate where I work at the Living Seas...and it hit me. My life is so different then 13 years ago. I am doing things and experiencing things that would never have been possible without comforting my eating disorder and making a change for the good.

As I crossed the finish line, I did the same thing I do every time...I pointed to heaven and reminded the world that I was in this place and this moment because God has a plan...and I may not understand it (especially when I miss the cut off at Ironman) but Im trying to follow along and learn what I need to learn. I waited in the finish area for my friend and new running fanatic, Martha Centeno, to finish. She crossed the line with lots of emotion...but can you blame her...look at what she has accomplished...fighting and beating cancer, losing 30 pounds and finishing her first half marathon. A big congrats to her.

So consider this my check in...Im doing great...Im staying focused...I determined to finish the Ironman in just a few months...but more importantly...Ill be the best ME as I stand on the beach in Panama City for one more crack at the beast!!!

The Mental Battle of Returning to Training

2011-01-11T07:44:00.000-08:00

Please tell me I am not the only one that goes through this feeling.

4am...the alarm goes off...on my day off..

Sigh.

Do I really need to do this?? Can't I just go back to sleep?? I could do my training this afternoon couldn't I?? If I wait, I may not do it at all.

Sit up in bed. Lay back down. Then Im back up again. If I can just get my feet on the floor...then I know Ill be on my way.

On this day...I did get my feet on the floor but this is month 1 of 11 towards Ironman. I know its going to get harder. Right now, we are talking about base building workouts....these are simple compared to June and July and 5 hours on the bike.

Feet on the floor....and out the door. Damn it...Im gonna be an Ironman. I just need to battle that little voice in my head telling me I can't. I can. I will. This is my dream.

Tell me...does any one else go through this???

The New Hope..The New Opportunity..The promise of a New Year

2011-01-01T10:30:00.000-08:00

January 1, 2011...

For many, today is a day of resolutions that will go in one year and out the other. This isn't my first year full of hope and dreams of an Ironman finish but this IS the year that it will be done.

As I ran my first workout of my Ironman year, I was full of hope and happiness. A fresh slate gives you perspective and a feeling of endless possibilities. It gives you the feeling that you CAN write down those impossible goals .. and achieve them. It is an amazing emotion.

I want this year to be like no other. I want to be focused...consistant...NOT PERFECT. No one's training is perfect, not even the professionals...but I have this feeling about this year that I haven't had in the past. Call it a hunger. Call it passion. Call it what you wish....Ill just chalk it up to hope and belief in my Ironman dream.

I start my year with a new coach. This might come as a shock to some because, if you know me well, you know I am a very loyal individual. Switching coaches came with much thought and a lot of heartache but I knew it had to be done. My former coach, Hector Torres, has become an incredible Elite coach and his clients are out there taking podiums and going to Kona. I felt a little overwhelmed by the people training with Hector and this was affecting my ability to train. Please don't misunderstand....every single person on the Central Florida Tri Club was kind and supportive of my efforts. These feelings of not belonging in the group came from me and I knew it was time to move to a different coach. Hector will forever be known as the coach that got me through my Half Ironmans and improved my biking time by more than 40 minutes. Hector took me from being afraid of being aggressive on the bike to loving the speed and the handling. I am so honored to have been a part of his program.

I start 2011 with Consuela "Sway" Lively and her "Tri with Sway" coaching program in hopes she will bring me to my first Ironman finish. She has an incredible resume including participating in the ITU World Championships, finishing in the top 6% of her Ironman races and completing an Ultraman (wanna really be overwhelmed...go look up what an Ultraman includes!!). She is a kind, sweet spirit with lots of experience to share. I am looking forward to 2011 and working with those involved with her group.

So here we are...its put up or shut up time. Ive talked a lot about Ironman 2011...now its time to put in the work.

Ill see you on the road....

My 12 days of Christmas...

2010-12-22T04:08:00.000-08:00

All I want for Christmas is..

12 months of swimming, biking and running

11 months of injury free training before my Ironman

10 .. a Perfect 10 scoring Ironman

9 .. The number of 20 mile runs I would like to accomplish this training season

8 .. That I stop worrying about what I "ate"..

7 .. The number of kids with Leukemia or who have lost their battle that I will be racing for this season

6 .. The number of adults with Leukemia or who have lost their battle that I will be racing for this season

5 .. The number of major races I will complete in 2011

4 .. Always remember what I am racing "for" ... a cure for cancer...the realization of a dream

3 .. The number disciplines that must be mastered to complete the Ironman (ok...so there are really 5 if you count nutrition and transitions...but work with me here)

2 .. To have the guts, physical stamina, mental toughness and training TO get TO the finish line

1 .. To achieve this ONE goal...this ONE dream....

Dear Santa..

Ive been a really good triathlete this year. I have lost 30 pounds and kept it off. I have been a polite and sportsman like triathlete on the road and in my racing. I listened to my surgeon and didn't race to much on my bum knee. I went home with hardware in 4 of my 5 short races this season (Ok...so I may not have had a lot of people in my classification...but its still cool to go home with a 1st place in 3 of the 5 races).

All and all a damn good year full of family time, a wee bit of racing, fun, happiness, disappointment and joy. What more could you ask for??

What more could you ask for?? Well...it is my hope that your year in 2011 is full of joy, happiness, safe training, be free of injury, weight maintenance or weight loss (if that applies to you) but most importantly...that you achieve whatever goal you have set.

As for me...Ironman baby...

See you on the road...

Merry Christmas

The Journey begins again...I'm in for 2011

2010-11-10T11:03:00.000-08:00

I have enjoyed my year off...really I have ...but deep down in my gut, I really couldn't wait for this day. I woke up at 400am and couldn't go back to sleep. Today was the day I would get another chance at achieving my dream...and there it is in my hot little hand.

This is the easy part you know...signing your name on a dotted line saying you're gonna compete in the Ironman is so simple...but its what I have been looking forward to for weeks. I told some friends that, although I enjoyed my time away from training, I sorta felt like I was in purgatory...sitting on the fringe of the sport...watching friends train hard...reading the forums on Beginner Triathlete but not being part of the action. I had this amazing year full of good things that needed attention: knee surgery, time with my husband, travel, weight loss and just plain rest...it was all wonderful...

But now...Im ALL in...

Long about July, I am sure I will write in this blog that I am DONE...that all I want is a day to sleep or a day to shop or a day to go to the spa...but right now, in this moment, I couldn't be more excited about attempting this goal one more time!!!

Let the games begin...T-361 days until Ironman!!!

I must have a guardian angel...

2010-11-02T22:19:00.000-07:00

It's hard to put into words when I stare at the photos you see above. And I keep staring..and I keep finding it amazing that I am sitting here with the ability to write this blog...

On Monday, November 1st, 2010 at 545am, I was traveling down Interstate 4 outside of Orlando headed to one of our boot camp sites to drop off equipment. It was a typical morning. I had stopped for coffee and I was talking to a friend on my hands free who works nights at hospital. We were talking and then.....silence

It all happened so fast that I truly can't tell you what happened. I was exiting the interstate going about 50-60 mph when I looked ...and there was the Mack Dump Truck..directly in front of me and no time to stop. I went to hit the brakes and my foot slide off the brake pedal. Then...the air bag...and silence...

My "Onstar" system in the car came on with a calm female voice asking if I was ok. Ok?? I got an airbag in my face...and I wasn't sure how that could be ok. My dashboard was dark and it was an errie feeling. I tried to see out the windshield but I couldn't...the hood of my car was crumpled in a mass blocking my sight. She told me she was sending help and to stay calm. Calm? I started to shake. I knew I must be going into shock.

Without warning, a tall woman and a man who ended up being the truck driver were at my driver's door and opened it. They pulled me from the car telling me it wasn't safe. I got pulled to the side of the highway where i got a view of what really happened. There was the Mack Truck...virtually unharmed....and my car...demolished from the windshield forward. The engine laid on the ground and there was fluids everywhere. I started shaking violently. I remember thinking "Oh my god...this isn't a dream...this is real.."

The sirens sounded so loud....the lights were everywhere...the traffic was backing up and I could only recall usually being the person IN the traffic cursing the backup. I looked up at the EMT and told her I was OK....she thought otherwise and helped me to the ambulance.

A fireman handed me my purse with my phone and I called my sweet hubby who was hard asleep at home. He had just gotten home after a grueling week of flying and he was groggy. I remember thinking I have to stay calm as I told him of the accident. I kept saying "Im fine...Im ok...but I am going to the hospital." I called my business partner, Rick and gave him the news. He felt helpless with 20 boot campers in front of him. He couldn't leave...all he could do was wait for word of how I was doing.

At the hospital, I had a CT scan as they were concerned I had ruptured my spline or liver. All checked out ok. Steve was there and my brothers soon followed. They were amazed at how good I looked considering what had happened.

So here I sit, a little less than 48 hours since the accident. I saw my dear orthopedic surgeon, Dr. Susan Ott who give me a clean bill of health...no broken bones...just some bruises and a very tender knee. It is amazing to me that I am not lying in ICU...

I believe in guardian angels...

My angel must have been with me Monday morning. He must have held back the impact. God must have made sure that I was still here for a purpose....for a reason. If there was ever a moment in my life that made me appreciate that I am on this planet...it was THAT moment.

I am so overwhelmed with emotion...but one thing is absolutely certain. Whatever God has planned for me, I plan to live this life to the fullest...and that includes becoming an Ironman. I won't be driving to Panama City now...Ill be flying....and I won't have my bicycle with me...but Ill be in line to get my slot for 2011...Thanks to my guardian angel...

And now..It's a family affair

2010-10-25T02:55:00.001-07:00

The Women's Triathlon at Moss Park on Saturday was a special day for me in a number of ways. First, and most importantly, it was my sister in law, Barbara Yergey's return to the sport of triathlon after getting married and having 3 amazing kids with my brother David. Barbara has always kept herself fit but left triathlon behind to focus on being the incredible mother that she is!! I arrived at Moss Park to find her excited and nervous all wrapped up in the same emotion. Barb had been very focused in her training and I knew she would do well...

For me, it was special because it was the first time in 11 years that I had a family member (let alone TWO family members) besides my sweet husband attending one of my races. My parents came to my very first Danskin Triathlon at Walt Disney World in 2000 and have never attended another race. My mother exclaimed at the finish line that she never wanted to see me that "Dirty, Sweaty or Tired ever again in her life." They came to Panama City for the Ironman in 2009 but refused to come to the start line or transition area to see me race. They were simply there to "take me home if I needed to be hospitalized" and nothing more.

So this sprint triathlon took on a whole new meaning to me. My brother would be in the crowd cheering. I had not trained for this race so I was concerned. How would I do??? My swim has suffered since losing weight believe it or not. Im not as buoyant as I use to be with 30 pounds off my body (hey...fat floats...what can I tell you).....so as the gun went off, I knew my swim would be slow...but I was consistent, focused and did well on my sighting. I came out of the water with the same time I had several months ago.

Into transition and there is my brother screaming for me. Don't get me wrong, I have been so incredibly blessed with amazing friends who get up at the crack of dawn and come to my races to cheer me on. Several have traveled to Ironman and made an extraordinary weekend of it including cooking, making signs for the bike course and just being supportive...but my brother. Wow!! I know he was there for his wife...but I just felt..different. I mounted up and headed out with a special type of determination. I wanted to do well .....

It became a game to see how many people I could pass. Let's face it. Im not going to pass people on the run...but on a bike...Im a monster. I love the feel of the gears, the wind, and even the pain in my quads. I love seeing the police officers on the course and thanking them for their time. I enjoy cheering on others as I pass and reminding them that Ill see them again as they pass me on the run. I returned from the bike 2 minutes faster than my last race and bounded into transition feeling pretty strong.

Its on the run that the lack of training always catches up with me. I ran/walked the 3 mile course...but knew this run time would not be stellar. As I made the turn for the finish, I could hear my brother and Barb cheering and this wave of emotion came over me. I didn't show it on the outside but inside I was just....so happy. Finally...my family was supportive ...

I was so excited for Barb and her finish. Folks...you wanna talk about someone with talent. In her first race, on a hybrid bike she took first place in her age group. I was thrilled!! My sister in law was taking home hardware.

At the awards ceremony, we took lots of pictures and exchanged lots of hugs. They had to head off to meet up with their daughters and enjoy the rest of their day so I didn't want to keep them. I got second in Athena...I probably would have done better if I had a little training under my belt. My brother David was walking to his car when heard my name called and came rushing back to the ceremony...

"Why didn't you tell me you got second" he asked...

"Because today its all about Barb and a new triathlete in the making " I told him...

He took some pictures and gave me a hug....and said the one thing I haven't heard from my family about my racing...."Im proud of you"

These things are really small...but to me...they are huge. I don't NEED my family's approval to pursue this dream...but I gotta tell ya...it sure does make me feel good inside knowing that at least one of my family understands along with my sweet hubby that this is my passion...even if I don't possess the talent my sister in law does. Can you imagine if we put her on a road or tri bike?? Oh my!!!

It was a great day...one I will remember for a long, long time.

Where in the world is Melissa Daly

2010-10-17T16:16:00.000-07:00

It's been more than 3 months since my last blog entry which is so not like me.

Blogging is cheap therapy and gets all those crazy thoughts that float around my

head down on digital paper. For me, it is a record of the journey I still face

and the beautiful, rewarding, painful and disappointment moments in this quest

for Ironman.

My life in the last months has been somewhat removed from the world of triathlon

and a bit more focused on things near and dear to me. Go back a few entries in

my blog and you will note the 10 weeks of my summer focused on treating my

eating disorder. In that time I lost 30 pounds. I am approaching two months at

home away from treatment and have kept the weight off. It has been a struggle

as old habits will often creep back into your life when you have worked to

create new ones....but I have been consistent... Definitely not perfect but

very consistent.

I also had the opportunity to travel to Europe for 10 glorious days with 4 of my

dearest friends and with my sweet hubby. We visited 5 countries in 9 days (

Spain, Italy,France, Vatican City and Monaco) and celebrated our 25th wedding

anniversary. This year my husband and I also attended (or are about to attend)

our 25th college class reunions...another special milestone in our lives.

In this non Ironman year I have also had the honor of helping my parents plan

their 5th trip around the world. As they enter into their 80's, it is heart

warming and exciting to watch them continue to enjoy the one passion they have

pasted on to me...exploring the world. I use to tell people I spent 20 years as

a travel agent to keep track of my constantly moving parents... And this year, I

got to revisit that feeling.

2010 also brought on my first major injury in over 10 years of triathlon. A torn

meniscus and a floating piece of cartilage in my left knee took me out of racing

in April but I didn't stay out for long. 2 weeks after surgery, I did the swim

leg of the Gulf Coast Triathlon in a 3 person relay and slowly worked my way

back into racing with the completion of The Nations Triathlon with a personal

record. Thanks to Dr. Susan Ott for fixing my knee and getting back in the game.

Life without Ironman felt foreign for awhile. Let's face it.. It has been the

focus of a good part of my world for 3 years now but the break has help me to

recharge, refocus, renew and resurrect this life goal. At the end of 2009 and

the ever so close missed bike cut off at Ironman Florida, I was emotionally

burned out. There were several friends and family ( including my dear parents)

who pleaded with me to let this dream die. My mother to this day states that

Ironman is a "man's sport" and a lady has no business attempting such as this...

But ....if you're a triathlete, you understand..... The call of the finish line

is simply too great..

As I sit on this 9 hour flight home from Barcelona, my sabbatical is now over. I

have spent my year focused on husband, family and getting myself into a better

physical and emotional place. I have achieved many of my goals for this year and

it's only October but as the first week of November approaches, a new year dawns

for me...Ironman Florida 2011 is a little more than 1 year away.

Some people suggested that a new venue for my first completed Ironman might be

in order but there is no way that would be an option for me. I have a dragon to

slay in Panama City .... A few personal demons to lay to rest on that flat windy

bike course... And lord knows.. I just want to get to the run...

So.. If you are racing Ironman Florida, look for me on the course as I plan to

volunteer anywhere and everywhere so I can to cheer on those that are about to

attain the dream that I hold so dear. Each of you are heroes to me because I

truly understand what you have sacrificed to make this dream a reality. You

will also find me in line to sign up for that shot at my own dream in 2011....

See you soon in Panama City.....

Follow your Heart...Follow the Passion

2010-07-26T15:08:00.000-07:00

Why in the world do you do what you do Melissa?

I hear this a lot. As I continue my journey in the treatment of an eating disorder, there are many women here at Structure House who can't understand why a 46 (almost 47) year old woman would want to swim, bike and run in the races that I choose. Many of them throw their hands up and say I'm crazy...but I am very happy in my insanity.

I knew I had a passion for triathlon the moment I crossed my first finish line in 2000. The elation of accomplishing what most people said was impossible thrilled me to no end. I found it easier to keep in shape if i had an end goal in mind instead of just constant trips to the gym with no goal in sight. The Sprint Distance race turned to an Olympic and then to a Half Ironman ...and then to the one goal that has fallen from my grasp twice....the Ironman.

But you must love your sport if you spend your afternoon running in 100 degree temperatures or bundle up for a below freezing bike ride in the middle of January. You must adore this pastime if you will endure the pain of blisters, missing toenails, sore muscles and fatigue. You have to have a passion for this thing they call triathlon if you will continue to pursue something that many say is impossible.

Damn, it is possible. Its not a matter of is it possible..its a matter of How bad do you want it?

I have given up my home for what will be 10 weeks to address the one obstacle that stood directly in the way of Ironman. After two attempts at the distance, it was clear. I had to lose some more weight and get my eating under control if I was to complete this challenge. So here I am, ounce by ounce removing that obstacle that has daunted me for decades.

I got an email today from an triathlete asking if I had given up on Ironman...

Just because I took a year off doesn't mean the dream has died. That dream is alive and well. If you have trained for this distance, you understand that the time commitment to this goal is enormous. It means hours away from your family, your friends and the rest of your life. Setting up an Ironman year for most is not a decision made lightly. It will consume a good chunk of your life.

So for those who asked and for those who wondered and for those that could care less...here's the answer. I will run Ironman Florida for the 3rd attempt in November 2011. Mark your calendar...Ill be there...and I guarantee a party at the finish line!!! 3 times is the charm.

Halfway through my program

2010-07-24T19:45:00.001-07:00

Its been 5 weeks...19 pounds...8% points of body fat loss...and I feel like a different person.

But Im not going to sit here and tell you its been easy. it hasn't. I have had some wonderful "ah-ha" moments here..but I have also had some dark times when "ED" (my name for my eating disorder) rears his ugly head.

Weekends are hard here at Structure House. I occupied my time today by shopping at the local mall for clothes for our trip to the Mediterranean and our September trip to Paris. It is very motivating to go into the stores and be two sizes smaller in most of the clothes i was trying. Even my shoe size has changed (if you can believe that).

But even in the back of my mind, the desire to go and overeat is alive and well. Its learning the tools to deal with that feeling that is vital in this environment. These are the nights where the things you learn in class are applied. When its bad like this...its one hour at a time...even a few minutes at a time.

We are taught to distract and delay and to make a list of things that will keep us from stuffing our face. It can be anything from knitting to calling a friend. For me ... at the moment...its sharing the moment with you...and writing in my blog.

Its also reminding yourself that you are worth more than stuffing your face full of food that is going to taste great for about 5 seconds...and feel horrible on your body for weeks to come. I keep telling myself that the clothes that I bought today will not fit if I continue to abuse my body with food that will not build it up and keep it healthy.

Stress always plays a factor in my eating and being away from my "real life" does remove that stress so while I am here, I am trying to find ways to deal with that trigger. One way has been focusing on my run. Going for a few miles, and you can get into a zone and really relax the mind. I think it can be better than any anti-depressant ever put on the market.

So in the midst of my desire to get a Five Guys burger or piece of fried chicken or any dessert...here I am ...chronicling that moment of....should I or shouldn't I? Admitting to the world that you have a problem is so not attractive...but maybe this will help someone else who is struggling with the same issues.

The fear of change...The pull of addiction

2010-06-28T16:28:00.001-07:00

Routine is so comfortable....that same part of the couch...that favorite restaurant where the food is just to your liking....that soft shirt that you wear over and over again. Routine....is so easy....it means you remain in your comfort zone.

Welcome to living outside your comfort zone and the emotions attached to it. For two weeks now, I have lived in a very comfortable environment with familar elements: strength training, swimming, biking and running....but and this is a BIG but...they have stripped away the things that made my life manageable and comfortable:

Food...and Diet Coke.

I know it sounds crazy but I had a serious addiction to the bubbly sweet stuff in that red and white can. I drank 10 a day easy ...sometimes an entire 12 pack. I had enough sodium and caffeine running in my system to power a small town. This habit, however, has been years in the making and one that had to be shut down.

So, along with changing my eating habits, I had my last Diet Coke two weeks ago. It sounds like it should be no big deal: WRONG. My head was pounding. I felt like someone had laid an ax right in the middle of my skull. Long about the 4th day, I had to crawl into my dark bedroom and just sleep...the pounding in my head was just too much.

Once the headaches finally subsided, I got this feeling of true "health". My body felt significantly better from the inside out. I can not tell you how long it has taken me and how many times I have tried giving up this stuff...but finally...I think I got a handle on it.

As much as I enjoy that feeling, I knew that my desire for food would eventually rear its ugly head and tonight...it did. I went to see my friends who work over at the UNC Hospital on their coffee break. As I made the turn out of the parking lot, it was like this little evil devil was sitting on my shoulder telling me to go to a drive thru and have a night full of junk food.

I can now tell you every single fast food joint between Chapel Hill and Durham. There are 19...yes...count them if you like...that I could have stopped at and loaded up on those foods that got me to this place...

But for some reason I didn't...

I made it the few miles back to my apartment....picked up my phone and called a friend who had told me "if you have a problem..call me"

She is an alcoholic so she understands. Addiction is tough stuff. One day at a time sometimes turns into one hour or one minute at a time. And here I sit. Laptop in high gear helping me get through that feeling of utter helplessness. For some reason I have equated food with comfort and safety. The more the better.

Tonight I decided....NO MORE.

I won this battle...I let you know if I win enough of those battles to win the war...

As always...ill keep you posted on the good, the bad, and ...moments like this that are not my prettiest side!

Remembering a Hero

2010-06-22T15:41:00.000-07:00

My heart is very heavy today. Yesterday, a dear friend, teammate and cancer warrior lost his battle with Leukemia and I am sad...and I am soooo incredible angry.

Doug Oxendine was a devoted husband, a father of two and a warrior against CML Leukemia. He participated and earned a Triple Crown with Team in Training (doing 3 events: a marathon, triathlon and 100 mile bike ride). He was an amazing speaker, a supportive teammate...and above all he was a helluva man and a wonderful friend. Yesterday, he earned another title: he became an angel.

Cancer is coward. It picks on little kids. It kicks adults when they are down. It hides away and attacks those that have fought the fight and won only to return and terrorise someones life and family. Cancer sucks and it still is my life mission to find a cure.

Many people have asked me why I stay and continue doing fundraising events with Team in Training. The answer is simple. No family should have a birth and a death certificate in the same envelope for their child. No wife should be left behind to raise two children on her own. No Husband should stand at a bedside and pray to switch places with their loving spouse who is fighting a disease that has no conscience. That's why....because Cancer is a Bastard.

Yesterday, I heard that Doug had passed and I was heartbroken. Today Im angry. Tomorrow I will be determined....Determined to continue to raise money and find a cure....

If you have never done a 5k for breast cancer or donated to a Team in Training participant who is raising money for a cure, or thought about becoming part of the bone marrow registry, I highly encourage you to consider it.

Your donation could keep the next family from this awful life changing fate.

Thanks for listening...Ill jump off my soapbox now...

Week One = 8 pounds

2010-06-21T06:00:00.000-07:00

Soooo....this is a great start. My first 7 days at Structure House and I have lost 8 pounds. Now, I know its going to slow down (actually...I have been the same weight since Friday as we are required to weigh in every day) but thats ok...its the feeling of being on the right track that gives me a bit more peace.

I have slept more in the last week than I have in probably a month. I am trying very hard to listen to my body, learn from my classes, get all my workouts in and be consistent with my therapy sessions. To most people, this sounds like a vacation...but for me...I am on a mission. Come hell...come high water...i am determined to get myself into a good space about food, get the weight off and get back on track towards Ironman.

I never thought I would ever say this...but I miss my long run workouts. I miss hours on the bike. As i look back at the middle of Ironman training last year, all I wanted was a few days off. My body was pleading for rest. Now, my mind is pleading for challenge.

That challenge is coming...this time in the form of the Miami Half Ironman where the cut off is fairly strict.

Always chasing that clock....

As always...Ill keep you posted... :)

Bike Trails in Durham NC

2010-06-20T07:50:00.000-07:00

We are so blessed in Orlando and the surrounding areas with beautiful long bike trails with facilities and little towns along the way. I am just starting to explore this town that I have enjoyed a few times in the past but what it is lacking is LONG bike trails that are paved. As we are in a more mountainous area, mountain biking is a little more popular than road cycling so finding a bike trail is a bit of a challenge...but I found one...and its perfect for shorter distance workouts..

The American Tobacco Trail sits right off the Durham Bulls Baseball stadium in Downtown Durham. Just 6.5 miles one way, it has many bridges and a few street crossings but for a urban trail, it is lovely. I got up early to try to beat the heat but by the time my workout was done at 9am, it was already 90 degress.

The trail is a bit hilly for a Florida girl but that should help to make my legs a little stronger. A short 1 hour workout with a bit of a nearby road added for mileage and my knee was reminding me that it needs work!! I know if I do a bit more research, I can find some beautiful roads to workout on as I enjoy North Carolina...

As always...ill keep you posted...

No...I didn't fall off the face of the earth

2010-06-19T16:32:00.001-07:00

Well....Im back to blogland. As I have said in previous blogs, if I am not writing, things are probably not well in well-ville. Things are not horrible but to say I was in a good place with my eating would be a bold face lie.

A week long family cruise shortly after the Gulf Coast Triathlon put the eating machine in motion. Who in the world thought that unlimited soft serve ice cream machines onboard a ship were a good idea. It sounds great...but for a compulsive overeater like me, it was almost too much to handle. By the 3rd day, I was making 2 or 3 trips to that troth. Add in the gourmet evening meals that started at 830 and breakfast being delivered to your room and it was just overload. I walked away from that cruise gaining 6 pounds.

With very little or no exercise from my knee surgery forward, it was time to ramp it up and get my life back in order. As I mentioned in my MUCH earlier posts, I had made a decision to return to Structure House in Durham, NC to get my weight down and my eating under control. I arrived here on June 13 and to date, I have lost 8 or the 16 I put on since knee surgery.

Being in a closed environment is a comforting experience but it can be very lonely. My dear husband, who has always been supportive of the things that I do, has cheered me on as I entered this program even though it leaves him alone and without his partner in crime for his adventures on his days off. Just yesterday, he flew to see my parents in the Bahamas and brought my father his Father's Day gift. He stood on my parent's deck overlooking the water and told me "it just doesn't feel right here without you."

Having an addiction means you miss a lot. I miss working out with my team in Training participants in Orlando. I miss training my Team Tri Hard athletes as they continue on towards bigger and better triathlons. I miss working with my trainer, Hector and attending bike trainer sessions. To get this demon under control, it means i must miss out on life...and that is a sad state of affairs.

Don't think Im sitting here crying in my beer (ohhhh a beer sounds good right now)...I am determined. I have 7 more weeks to get my act in gear and get this weight off my body. While I am doing that, lets see if I can get my body back up to speed for a half ironman in October...

And as always...now that Im back...I will keep you posted...

It was the best of times & worst of times-The Gulf Coast Tri

2010-05-10T02:23:00.000-07:00

May 8th, 2010 had had a huge red circle around it since January...and here it was...the day I had a lot of hopes riding on. At the beginning of the year, it was the weight loss goal date for Ironman. When we realized a scheduling conflict with my husband's 25th college reunion would keep me from racing Ironman in 2010, May 8th became my A race date. When knee surgery kept me from completing the entire half ironman race, it became the date that two friends would come to my aid to help me at least participate in one of my favorite races.

Along with the incredible support of Mike and Vi Auld, Rebecca Babb and Sandi Fuller got up early Saturday morning and headed down to the transition area to set gear and get body marked. As we awoke, I made a beeline to the balcony and, to my shock, the weather had changed dramatically overnight. Even in the dark, I could see the whitecaps beyond the surfline and felt a very strong wind. It was gonna be a challenge today.

We returned to the room after setting gear, ate some breakfast and waited. I hate the waiting. It puts my stomach in knots. Since we were a relay team, that put us in the last wave leaving the beach at 715am. It also meant a rougher sea. I watched from the balcony to see how the other swimmers were handling the conditions. As I watched the professionals getting pushed off course and crossing the timing mat 5 to 9 minutes slower than usual, I knew...I was in for a difficult task.

Finally... I am on the beach, gun goes off and I hit the water. The temperature is perfect but you could feel that the sea was disorganized and messy. There was no rhyme or reason to the wave cycle and it made breathing and being consistent in my stroke nearly impossible.

Getting to the first turn buoy at the end of the first leg of the counter clockwise course took FOREVER. The support teams seemed to be having a hard time staying upright in their kayaks let alone being able to help swimmers. I was all over the place and I don't usually have a problem siteing but the buoys going out on the course were GREEN...and so was the water. Oh Lord, I thought, I gotta make this cut off.

I finally made it around the first turn buoy and didn't dare look at my watch. Working against the current, I made it to the other side of the course and the second turn. It was only then that I looked at my watch in absolute horror. 40 minutes ! WHAT!? A wave slapped me in the face and I ingested enough seawater to make me a little ill. For a single second I thought I was going to need some help. I composed myself with a few breast strokes and got back to the task of swimming.

The current pushed me so far off course that I ended up siteing the condo building instead of the buoys. I decided it would be
easier just to go to shore and run up the beach than to try to go against the current and get back to the buoys. I would later find out that I was not alone in this issue. Over 3 dozen swimmers ended up running up the beach to get to the swim exit.

I got nervous and started looking at my watch too much and the negative thoughts came pouring in. Finally I screamed underwater, DON'T GIVE UP!! It became my mantra as I headed into shore....Don't give up..don't give up...don't give up.

As I finally made it to land, I broke into a run up the beach. Three steps in, my knee reminded me that I was 3 weeks post op from surgery and I was in agony. Walking on pavement had become easy. Running on sand was brutal.

I looked at my watch....I was 2:30 minutes from the cut off as I headed towards the timing mats. I looked like a woman possessed as I struggled to the timing mat. I looked at the official and said "Im on time...I made it..." She must have thought I was insane because I was determined to get by her without her stopping me. Apparently, I WAS on time...they had allotted an extra 5 minutes to the swim cut off due to the conditions. I stepped on the mat at a time that I thought was past the cut off, but I had 4 minutes and 45 seconds to spar. I turned around and looked behind me and saw swimmers still coming in!! Oh my god, Im not last!!!

Up the sand I went, knee screaming at this point to stop. I was focused on getting to the relay tent and handing off the chip to Rebecca to get her on the road. The skies were dark and I was afraid that the rain was coming. The sooner she was out there, the sooner I would know she was back and ok.

As I made it through the tunnel, Rebecca screamed with joy!!! I am sure she thought that I was NOT going to make the cut off. I told her I had made a date with her and I don't stand up my dates!! I took the chip off and collapsed on the ground . She wanted to help me and I just said GO GIRL...and off she went for 56 miles of wind on the bike course.

Volunteers are angels with wings. Two came to my aid and helped me to a bench where I could put my knee up. They got ice to try to get the swelling down on my knee so I could make it back to the condo. I got out of transition and hobbled to the side of the road with Mike's help. Vi and Sandi were already there waited for Rebecca to make the small loop that circled back in front of us before the longer section of the bike course. She pasted us with good speed and a smile and we headed up to the room to wait for her return.

My knee was not happy with the sandy run but after a bit of a nap, it felt dramatically better. A hot shower, a little to eat and I was golden. I grabbed Mike's cane that he let me borrow as a fail safe and after 2.5 hours of waiting, we headed back to transition.

We waited..and worried. There was word of a crash with a number close to our 1149 team number. We waited some more..and worried. Rebecca arrived exhausted but smiling after a windy 56 miles with a touch of rain to make it interesting. She tagged up with an impatient Sandi who couldn't wait to get to the run. So began the worry for Sandi as she started her run close to the middle of the day.

As fates would have it, the sun came blazing out as Sandi started her run earning this 13.1 miles the Gulf Roast..instead of the Gulf Coast. We got Rebecca back up to the room where she took a cool bath and relaxed. She shook her head at me as we headed upstairs saying "Melissa..I don't know how you do this....all three events at once...its seriously tough!!!"

I once again closed my eyes for a quickie nap but before I knew it, it was time to run across the finish line with Sandi. Mike had headed out on the course to let us know when she was a mile out. It was a good thing too. It seems some of the volunteers had left their posts early and she didn't have much encouragement in those last two miles...but you gotta love Mike...he is always there with a smile and a cheer.

Rebecca, Vi and I waited impatiently at the finish line for Sandi's arrival. In the distance, we finally saw her...with incredibly perfect form considering the conditions running down Thomas Drive. She was hot but she gave us a wave and a smile (and some other gestures that are very hard to describe...Ill show you sometime!!) and we all three headed towards the finish line!!! All smiles for the camera and a cold beer for Sandi (we promised after 13 miles we would have a beer waiting) and it was time to celebrate.

Did we win any awards?? Nope! Just a finishers medal that we would learn later is actually a bottle opener (Im not really sure how I feel about that...)..but no prizes for us. Our times were horrible but I guarantee you...we had the MOST FUN of any team on the course. When returning to the room and our view of the ocean, I cried. How blessed am I to have friends who would step up and take on this challenge with me. How even more lucky am I to have friends who will travel 6 hours to support our efforts. I swear...this race brought me back to center again and reminded me...this sport is suppose to be fun and not all pressure. On this day...it was about teamwork...and joy...and celebration...and laughter...but above all...for me...it reminded me of why I got into this sport. Its a medal I will cherish the most because me friends helped me when I couldn't do it alone.

Another amazing life experience for the books...I am so incredibly lucky.

Back to the scene of the crime

2010-05-07T04:03:00.000-07:00

You would think I would hate this place...but, Lord help me I love it here...

Greetings from Panama City Beach...my own personal crucible. I have had some great moments here. I have had others that broke my heart. There were moments on this beach where I thought about giving up my dream of become an Ironman but its just not in my nature to walk away for a goal such as this. I may be taking the year to get my body in order, but this place...this goal...this dream is alive and well in me.

The sun is rising over the beach. I am perched out on the balcony of my condo at the Boardwalk Beach Resort overlooking the swim course of the Gulf Coast Triathlon that starts tomorrow. It will be a unique race for me as I participate in a relay team. I will only be doing the 1.2 mile swim because of my knee surgery. Its hard to walk around and watch the race preparation unfold but I am excited for my friends who have stepped up to be on the Team Tri Hard Half Ironman Relay Team.

Once I exit the water, Ill be tagging up with my friend Rebecca Babb. She is a 20's something up and coming triathlete with a positive attitude and a lot of talent. She has had her share of bumps in the road but she is strong and eager to do well in this race. She and I raced at the Nation's Triathlon last year for Team in Training and she blistered the course with her speed on the bike and run. She is famous in Orlando for wearing her purple tutu to 5k races or stashing her superhero cape in transition to compliment her outfit on the run of a triathlon. This is JUST the type of person I need on my team...determined...but doesn't tae it all too seriously.

As Rebecca completes her 56 mile bike, she will tag up with one of my dearest friends, Sandi Fuller. Sandi has been doing marathons and half marathons with me for over 5 years. We have enjoyed a beer standing in the surf at Virginia Beach after numerous half marathons and braved the race elements in cities like Nashville, Tampa, and Cocoa . Sandi is fast and naturally talented so when we suggested this relay she was thrilled. It will be her first time participating in a triathlon and her first triathlon medal.

So with a little help from my friends, I will complete this race. My only fear is getting up the sand on the beach to the transition area....and...of course, I have the fear of not making the cut off. The relay wave is the final wave of the day at 715am...I have until 825am to complete. My average time in the swim is from 55 minutes to 1 hour...so I should be ok...but i always worry...ALWAYS!!

As I sip my coffee and look out of this beautiful water (which right now has not been touch by the oil spill near Louisiana), my mind can't help thinking about that day in 18 months when I will be crossing a finish line and achieving a dream...

Ill keep you posted on the race tomorrow...

Believe..and you will achieve

2010-05-02T14:25:00.000-07:00

Its the quote I tell my Team Tri Hard athletes over and over again. On Saturday morning, over 200 swimmers, triathletes and general fitness enthusiasts decended on Lucky's Lake to complete the 1K open water swim. Swimming at Dr. Meishenheimer's home on LIttle Lake Cane in Orlando has become the stuff of national radio and T.V. spots and famous the world over as the place for triathletes to get a good open water workout in.

My athletes were a little hesitant but over the last few weeks, they all have completed the Open Water Swim. Once you complete the 1K...you get the honor of putting your signature on the wall (or ceiling) of Dr. Lucky's Pool area. He also gives you a patch and a bumper sticker to celebrate your accomplishment.

All my athletes had jumped this hurdle (some of them on their own the day after my knee surgery) except for one. Ethan..or as we call her "Ethee" has become a solid cyclist and runner over the last few weeks...but the water just isn't her strong event. She struggles with breathing and sometmes gets nervous just doing her workouts in the pool. Lucky's Lake was the ultimate challenge.

She had entered the lake on the weekend when I was not there but did not do the crossing. She made it to the first or second buoy and returned to the dock to cheer on her teammates. Today, it was my goal to help Ethee see that she could accomplish this goal....See it...Believe it...Achieve it!!

With over 200 people enter the water, my group hung back to give way to the super fast swimmers. We stepped onto the small beach and past the plaster alligators that Lucky has placed on next to his dock. A few of my athletes were a little unnerved by the reminder that...this is a Florida lake..you never know!!

Ethee and I enter the water together. She was wearing a SwimSafe belt (an floatation device that can be inflated if an emergency arises) provided by one of my more experience athletes and I promised her I would be with her the whole way. As we swam, she got into a rhythm of freestyle, breast stroke and floating on her back. My goal was simple for Ethee...to get her there and back.

We got to the same buoy she had turned at on her first attempt and she thought about returning to the dock. I told her that was simply not an option. Today was her day to complete this and we were going to do it..one stroke...one breath...one kick at a time. She made it to the third buoy and finally to the other side of the lake where we celebrated. She had completed half the distance and got a breather on the beach.

As we stared back to the other side, you could tell what she was thinking in this moment. "Can I make it?" "Do I try?" "Will I drown??" "Im 50..this is crazy!!" she told me. I should be swimming with a noodle (a foam flotation that some of the swimmers were using). I told her the only noodles she would be enjoying that day were over lunch and NOT in this lake. You can't use a noodle during the race..why would you use it here!

We started off back across the lake and she had moments of doubt and accomplishment cross her face. She was scared...and she was elated. It was absolutely amazing to watch this determined woman make this crossing. Each stroke got her closer to her goal.

As we approached the dock...you could her our team screaming her name. She looked at me and said "Now they are embarrassing me!!" I told her to be proud...its not everyday you face your fear and complete a goal!!! She came up on the beach and highfived me and another swimmer, Lynne who had been swimming with her coach Jane!! She had completed what she thought was impossible.

We took pictures of her signing the ceiling in Lucky's Pool area...and also with her new swimming buddy, Lynne!! I got in my car and I was very proud of Ethee...and her team of triathletes.

As I drove home, I contemplated the morning's events and realized that is was for moments like this that God has brought me to coaching. I certainly don't look like the typical Triathlon Coach but I understand what its like to be slow. I know what its like to finish last..but the point today was...Ethee had the guts to start...and finish!

In this downtime that my body requires from surgery and as I enter a new phase of self improvement, I am honored and humbled to have wonderful men and woman that call me coach and bless me with experiences like I had today. I have no aspirations of coaching elite athletes...but I do have aspirations of coaching those with more heart and drive than any olympian!

As I walked back to my car, I past a vehicle with three stickers on the back window: one was an Ironman logo, one was the word TRI and the final one was a famous quote in the world of endurance sports

The miracle isn't that I finished the race. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.--John Bingham

And that, my friends, is what my world is all about!!

As always...Ill keep you posted

This is what I do...

2010-04-30T03:45:00.000-07:00

At 130am..im still awake..lying in bed...KNOWING that I have to be at boot camp to work with a new client at 5am. After finally getting 3 hours sleep, I was up...coffee in hand and out the door..

The 5am class of Boot Camp was happy to see me after a 2 week absence from doing fitness assessments . I don't teach a specific class of boot camp, but work with the people that are entering the program. We do a three part fitness evaluation, sign some paperwork and talk about their goals.

One of our boot campers came up to me and asked, "So .. I guess this is the end of the road with your triathlon career. No more Ironman dreams, huh." I smiled...and then I laughed...."Are you kidding." I said

I made one simple statement: No...this is what I do.

Triathlon is what I do. Its hard for me to envision going to the gym and working out just for my health. I need a GOAL...and racing is just that. By the way .. there are approximately 180 days until Ironman Miami 70.3. Without a goal to reach towards, I find it hard to motivate myself.

Right now..my short term goal is simple....GET WELL. I know that, as my surgeon Dr. Ott told me, I need to pick my battles. I know my race seasons that include 18 races are probably over but to give up triathlon all together...NO WAY!!

Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal. The ultimate goal is that date I have with Mike Rielly at the finish line of Ironman Florida. I have done poor Mr. Rielly a disservice by standing him up twice, I don't plan on not making it the third time!!

First Physical Therapy Session

2010-04-28T08:24:00.000-07:00

Let me tell you how much fun Physical Therapy is...

I think I would rather ride my bike for 6 hours....seriously!!

YIKES...that hurts like hell....but I know that I am in the capable hands of the Florida Hospital Therapy Team at the RDV Sports Complex. For now, I am working with a general therapist but next week , I am hoping work with a woman by the name of Laura. She came highly recommended by not one but two friends who are marathon runners. I think she will understand my need to get back on the road and back to being me again.

Its been 12 days since my surgery. I am walking without crutches or a cane. I can ALMOST bend my knee as normal but there is the tightness in it that still smarts!! Every once in awhile, it wants to give out on me...but those times are rare. I am now capable of climbing stairs without taking them one at a time.

I did my first swim workout on Monday and covered just 1000 yards. Yesterdays was 2000 and I am hoping today will be 2500. I will swim the 1.2 mile swim portion of a relay team at the Gulf Coast Triathlon on May 8th so I want to make sure I can cover the distance under time!!

It's slowly coming together...but as usual...Im not very patient!!

You don't put regular gas in your Ferrari

2010-04-25T18:32:00.000-07:00

I love cars. I am addicted to new car smell. The color of a car (mostly reds, greens, blues, or a special glossy black) can increase my blood pressure. If you slide into the leather seats and go "hmmmm..." it melts my butter. I got this addiction from my father...he changes cars like most people change socks.

I recently bought a new Lexus SUV...just the small one...but it's red...its new... its shiny and it carries all my triathlon gear. I use to drive a large expensive SUV that I bought from the above mentioned car addict of a father...but it was too expensive to maintain and it was gray in color ... and it wasn't me.

So...it may not surprise you that the above quote that titles this blog struck a cord with me. If I owned a Ferrari...I would NEVER put regular gas in it...But when this quote was made, it had nothing to do with a car..but everything do to with a talented triathlete.

I was speaking to Chris,a talented triathlete and the lifeguard that helps at the pool where my Team Tri Hard triathlete work out every Thursday night. It was getting late in the evening and his boss came out to make sure he had gotten dinner. He told them that he would eat when he got home because..."he doesn't put regular gas in the Ferrari.."

How profound. I have thought about this comment for days. Isn't it interesting how some athletes view food as fuel. For someone with an eating disorder, we view food as recreation or as comfort...but rarely do we view it as fuel.

It is interesting, however, that when I get on the bike and do multiple hours, those workouts will require additional nutrition. I often use Fig Newtons on these rides because they work with my system. It is only in those moments that I don't view the Fig Newtons as cookies...but as fuel.

If I could just starting viewing food as fuel instead of using it as a numbing mechanism, I could seriously have this weight problem licked but, as we all know, it is never that easy. People who do not have an eating disorder will say that simple phrase "Well..just stop eating so much." For those of you with any sort of addiction..you know..if it were that easy, we would have done it a long time ago.

I got a picture off the web of a Ferrari and stuck it to my refrigerator...to remind me...that just as my love of cars exists...so should my love of me. My body is worthy of being treated like that fine italian racing machine. I deserve the "good fuel" instead of the junk.

Doesn't it amaze you where you can find inspiration for your life???

My 25th College Reunion

2010-04-25T09:10:00.001-07:00

A few months ago, I headed to the mailbox and found that invitation. Its the one that reminds you just how old you really are. My 25th college reunion. REALLY?? I don't FEEL that old. As I stared at the date, my mind immediately compared it to the triathlon calendar and...I realized...it was the same weekend as St. Anthony's.

I got it figured out that I would fly back to St. Pete and compete in the race on Sunday and enjoy part of the festivities of my reunion on Friday and Saturday. That was BEFORE my knee surgery occurred and took me out of racing for awhile. I guess God has a plan as it required me to slow down, enjoy this special moment and share with women I had not seen in ages.

I attended a small women's college in Spartanburg SC known as Converse College. After a year of looking at large colleges around the south and even being accepted to some prestigious northern schools, Converse offered a scholarship and touched my heart. It was small, friendly, beautiful and the faculty really seemed to care about the education they were providing. I had already sent my acceptance to Auburn Univetsity by the time I went to Converse...but with just weeks prior to the deadline, I switched...and forever became a Converse "Connie"...as they use to call us.

A Florida girl at a Southern Belle college took some getting use to and there were times I simply didn't fit in ...but there were several people that became lifelong friends including my roommate of 2 of my 4 years, Tammy Foster. We all converged on the Converse campus for two days of reliving old memories and seeing the campus.

I made it around campus, limping along, but I am so glad that I attended this event. I keep in touch with many of these women on Facebook but others were a sight for sore eyes. They remember me as the partying slacker that barely graduated..hard to believe how much I have changed since my days of showing up to class half awake and hung over. My husband attended some of the events with me because, well, he is one of the things that HASN'T changed since college...we met 3 weeks into my freshman year..and married 6 months after graduation.

My husband and I also visited the spot on campus where we had our first kiss. So many wonderful memories. It was worth missing St. Anthony's .....

Why do I do some of the things I do...really...

2010-04-21T19:42:00.001-07:00

Ugh!! Frustration!! It's hard working for a charity in the midst of a recession. Times are tough are the words I hear over and over again every time I ask for a donation to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society or ask for a silent auction item.

Yep! Times are Tough....but I got another fact you might wanna consider...

Cancer doesn't really care if times are tough. It's still out there and we still don't have a clue how to beat it.

There are moments I sit back, like I did today, and wonder..."why in the hell do I put myself through working for a charity!!??" Im not getting paid for my time. I'm doing this when I could be doing something else...like shopping or having lunch with friends. Instead of sleeping in on a Saturday morning, I choose to go work out with a group of people helping to raise awareness about blood cancers.

And today....I got my answer in plain form. All it took was some copy paper, some Team in Training Purple Jerseys...and a few willing souls.

An entry a few days ago discussed my friend Doug who is battling CML and is undergoing a bone marrow transplant. He is in the process of receiving chemo that is killing off his immune system so his body is ready for the new bone marrow. He is in isolation because of this...no visitors.

But we found a way. A group of Team in Training participants and some coaches gathered on the sidewalk outside Doug's hospital room. Dressed in our Purple Team in Training Jerseys, we held up letters to spell a simple message to Doug that he could see from his window. We called the nurse's station near his room and had one of the nurses go and ask Doug to look out the window....

When he did, we held up our letters that spelled out: We Love You. We then wrote letters on the back of the cards that spelled out Doug's nickname : Billygoat!

I could barely hold back the tears. The thought of being in isolation for so long, the fear of losing your life to cancer and the knowledge that you have little children that might be left without a father just all seemed overwhelming. So much is weighing on my friend's mind...but we hoped this small little sign would help lift his spirits and know he is not alone in his quest for survival.

I believe in the power of prayer. I believe in the power of the human spirit to rise up against illness and injury and heal the body. I believe God has a hand in all of this.

It made my day to know that maybe we made his day.

Why do I do what I do?? Why do I dress in purple, raise money for cancer research and swim, bike and run hundreds of miles with a team of people that have mostly never done events like this before??

Its simple: because Cancer Sucks...and my heartfelt goal is to make cancer disappear in our lifetime.

I hope you will join me in whatever way you chose to help find a cure for the disease. Whether you support the Leukemia Society, Livestrong, the American Cancer Society, St. Judes or others...I hope you will join me in the army of people who will not let this disease continue to take lives....they are too precious...

On the mend....

2010-04-17T20:51:00.000-07:00

Just like any sports game...my Friday had its highs..its lows...its base hits...its outs and its grand slams as I headed in for my knee surgery. Just like at the beginning of any major race...I had butterflies fluttering in my stomach...

To GET to my surgery was a bit of a challenge. Dr. Ott performs surgeries on Fridays in Brandon...about 75 minutes from my house. My surgery was at 700am so I decided to go over the night before. My parents were out of town, my brothers busy with work, my husband flying and not getting off work until the late afternoon and Rick was teaching boot camp. The only way I could figure out to get over there in time was to rent a car, spend the night in a hotel near the surgery center, drop the car at the rental car place then take a cab to the surgery center. My plan was a bit complicated but it all went without a hitch and I arrived at the Surgery Center at 550am.

They handed me a piece of paper to tell them who would be taking me home and they were all a bit shocked when I wrote "Dr. Susan Ott". "The DOCTOR is taking you home" the nurse asked. "Yes..until my business partner or husband can make their way here and pick me up." With a bit of a stunned look on her face, she made some notes, I signed some consent papers then it was off to the pre op area...

I got changed into a gown and put my hair back in a surgical "shower cap" and laid back on the gurney. That when I realized I was truly doing this alone. Was I crazy?? No one to hold my hand...no one to calm my fears. And then my phone buzzed and I knew I wasn't alone. My husband started sending text messages...and then so did my friend, Rick ... and before I knew it...it was time to turn off the phone, talk to the anesthesiologist and Dr. Ott and get wheeled into the operating room.

If you have ever been awake staring at the ceiling of an operating room, it can be a bit unnerving. For me, it brought back serious memories. As they wheeled me in, I remembered that moment on Dec. 1, 1998 when my life changed forever. On that day, I endured 6 hours of a full open gastric bypass and those memories came flooding back. I felt my body stiffen as they put my arms out to the side. The anesthesiologist placed the mask near my face and, for a moment I almost jumped off the table. He looked at me and said "Where is your favorite place to vacation??" I was just about to answer and then....

The next thing I remember...Im in recovery. The nurse is waking me up telling me it was over and I had done well. Groggy and in a bit of pain, I reach for my knee (like somehow it would be missing). It had a huge bandage on it...and bending it was not an option. The nurse brought me a Diet Coke which has to be the second best Diet Coke I have ever tasted (I think the first was at the end of my first half ironman). I asked the nurse for my phone...and made the first phone call I knew I needed to make.

While this was going on, my parents were in the Bahamas sitting by the phone...and worrying...like most parents do when their child is under the knife. I dialed the number, the phone rang and my father picked it up on the first ring. I went to speak..and realized...they just removed a tube from my throat and I was unable to make a sound. I could hear the fear in my Dad's voice as I tried to make a sound. Finally..the words "Im ok..." came out of my mouth and my mother got on the other phone.

Missey...honey..what is it...talk to me. I was trying but nothing was happening. I was so worried about them being worried about me that I didn't think I wouldn't be able to talk right away. After a few more sips of Diet Coke, I was able to talk to them and let them know all was well.

I must have been feeling pretty good on the drugs they had given me because I proceeded to text several of my friends and ask them if they wanted to go for a run. I then got on facebook and misspelled my status update but got my message across that I was alive and well. As I became more and more awake, the messages got a little clearer...

Dr. Ott came in and showed me my pictures. The cartilage chip that she removed was 12mm x 4mm. She also cleaned up a small tear in my meniscus. The chip had been floating around causing some considerable pain and I can tell you now, I already feel better.

Dr. Ott returned to the rest of her case load for the day as I slept in the recovery room. About two hours later, she was ready to go home. Just as I was getting in her car, Steve texted me that he had arrived in Orlando and was on his way to pick me up. Pretty good timing.

Dr. Ott was amazing. She helped me to the couch in her living room and made me comfortable. She brought me another Diet Coke and even offered to make me some food. I was almost embarassed that someone would be so gracious to someone who was taking up their time and their home.

About two hours later, Steve arrived and helped me to the car. I was trying very hard to hide it but it was clear, I was in A LOT of pain. The meds that I had received at the surgery center had worn off and we had not yet filled my prescription of pain meds for home. We had to make a choice ....do we stop and get the meds filled or do we just head home. I decided to stop, get some Motrin and head on home.

The ride was a long one. It was very difficult to get comfortable and I even cried by the time we got to the outskirts of Orlando. Upon our arrival at the house, I had some pain medication that I had left over from a previous surgery. I took one of the pills and finally relaxed...and slept...

It's now a little more than 24 hours from my surgery and I can already put weight on my leg and walk without the crutches. I already feel better and I know it will only get better from here. It will be several weeks before I start running again but I feel so very positive about the future. The knee is fixed...now we need to focus again on the weight loss....

My thanks to the amazing staff in Dr. Ott's office, Dr. Ott herself and the incredibly talented and professional staff of the Brandon Ambulatory Surgery Center. Each and every one of these people are a blessing to me...

Viewing the big picture...

2010-04-15T10:44:00.001-07:00

So...tomorrow is the day. I have been rushing around trying to get those things done (like the ever dreaded grocery shopping) that I know I will not be able to accomplish with a bum knee. Even with the running around, I did stop to take in the beautiful day...and go for one last bike and walk before tomorrow.

Sometimes we take the beautiful days and views for granted. Today I did not. Not because I face a 20 to 40 minute procedure tomorrow but because a friend of mine faces a bigger challenge today.

His name is Doug and he has been battling CML (Chronic Myeloid Leukemia) for several years. He has fought and gained remission for a period of time but now the drugs that have kept him in remission are no longer working and he will require a bone marrow transplant. He starts his 100 days in isolation today as he fights for his life.

And this is why I raise money for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society. It is my hope..my dream...my life goal...to do what I can to help find a cure for all cancer...especially blood cancer.

Cancer is a coward. It picks on little kids. It picks on people that it believes are not going to fight. Cancer screwed up when it decided to pick on Doug. He is a warrior with a wife and children and he isn't going down. This is a serious battle.

So my little knee surgery is small potatoes. I am so very lucky to have had the opportunity to do Tri MIami 2009 with Doug. I know that we will both be racing again before you know it!!

If you have a moment, say a prayer for my friend. He is a helluva man!!

Ironman Athlete to the Rescue

2010-04-14T19:44:00.000-07:00

You might understand the feeling I am about to describe. It's the feeling of needing more information than you have but no way to really get to it. It's the feeling of desperation that you MUST make the right decision for fear of screwing up your future plans. These were my feelings as I sat on my couch yesterday afternoon contemplating my next move to get me well. What do I do next?

I had called the doctor that operated on my business partner-Rick Stafford but he does not accept my insurance...so that lead was quickly out the window.

I contacted a referral from a good friend who has had this problem in both knees. Her physician's first appointment was almost a month away. I don't mind waiting but there is a serious scheduling issue with a family cruise that is coming at the end of May. If I wait too long to have this procedure done, I won't be able to walk well while on the cruise...and honestly that just sounded miserable to me.

And then, my phone rang. I had asked an Ironman friend named Susan Ott to call me. She is an Orthopedic Surgeon in Plant City (a little more than an hour from Orlando) and I knew she could help me with perspective about my injury AND my racing. She was wonderful...taking time out of her evening to answer the rambling questions of a freaked out triathlete. If you have read my blog for any amount of time, you might remember me writing about Susan last year during my training (see July 12, 2009 ). She came out to a local trail and rode with me giving me advice that I needed at the time.

And then she offered something I didn't expect. "you know Melissa...I could take care of this surgery on Friday for you." WHAT?? Friday...as in THIS Friday?? She offered to see me in her office the next day, look at my xrays, MRI's and reports and
give me an honest assessment and, if surgery was needed, schedule me for Friday.

I was speechless. I was so lost with the idea of picking a surgeon that I trusted...and I swear....the big guy upstairs helped make the decision for me.

So at 215PM today, I met with Susan. She did a couple extra X-rays and determined I did need surgery. She made time for me on Friday and I will have this procedure over and done by the end of this week. I know my full recovery where I will be back to running will probably take two to three months but ... for now...I feel so calm and relaxed. I have to tell you, I cried tears of relief all the way home today.

Don't you find it amazing that in this world there are still people who work in the business of healing others that REALLY WANT TO HEAL. These people love what they do and want so much to see people get better. To me, they are angels with wings. I have seen these types of physicians in several forms from those who treat pediatric cancer to , now, orthopedic surgery. What a blessing they are to the world.

My problem is a minor one...but when it's your skin they are cutting...any surgery becomes a big deal. I am just so glad that I have a friend in Dr. Susan Ott....

As always...Ill keep you posted....

Be careful what you wish for...

2010-04-13T13:29:00.000-07:00

Find the problem, I kept saying. Tell me what the heck is wrong with me!! WELL, I got my wish today...but it wasn't what I wanted to hear.

My dear P.A. from the Ortho clinic called to let me know the results of my MRI (hows that for service..less than 1 day after the test) and he had a laundry list

1. I have a "joint mouse"! This is a bone or cartilage fragment floating around the joint causing symptomatic pain.

2. I have abnormalities in the joint bone itself from years of morbid obesity and the constant pressure on the bone has worn them to a "peak" instead of being smooth and rounded. The P.A. recommended that these be smoothed out for less pressure and pain using surgery via arthroscope.

3. A minor tear of the meniscus that, if left alone, would probably heal, but since they are going in to do this other work, will repair this tear.

I think I had the typical thoughts most athletes or competitors have when the word "surgery" is used in a sentence. How long will it take for me to recover? Will I be able to race again?? Will I ever be able to go long distance for an Ironman?? Will this change me from an athlete to a person standing on the sidelines and cheer others on.

So many questions...not many answers...but I will learn more soon. The appointment with my doctor is for Friday at 215PM. The funny part....I went to high school with the surgeon. Maybe that will help me...maybe it won't!!

As always...Ill keep you posted!! Your comments are always appreciated!!

Motivation

2010-04-12T14:07:00.000-07:00

There are events in your life that we sometimes turn to and remember as the pivotal moment that a decision was made, a turn towards a new path or a goal was firmly set in our lives.

I had that kinda moment this morning.

The saga continues with my left knee so this morning, my MRI was scheduled at the Ortho Clinic just a few minutes from my house. I arrived on time. The staff was wonderfully friendly and I didn't have to wait long at all to get the appointment started. They had me remove my watch, lock my belongings in a locker and then step into the room with the machine I show above.
Cool looking isn't it?? I mean...it's not that frightening looking monster MRI machine that we all envision in our mind. It's small and you just stick you leg in it. It still bangs and makes LOTS of noise...but its small....its not as scary...

Did I mention it was small....yeah... really small....

Too small...well at least for my leg. The tech was so incredibly nice. She tried the first leg support for my knee and went to slide my leg in only to find that it would not go all the way up. Not a problem, the nice lady told me. She switch sleeves and my leg fit in the sleeve fine. My leg, however, would not fit all the way in the machine

The tech told me she could probably get the shots she needed...but it just wouldn't work. She was embarrassed and so was I. Not since my inability to fit in an airline seat did I feel the embarrassment I felt this morning. The Tech called the other MRI office and they were able to get me into a normal size machine that took pics of my knee with no trouble...but man was I mortified!!

After 200lbs lost, the only part of my body where I haven't had skin removed is my thigh area. They are BIG. Not only are we dealing with skin...I still carry a lot of weight there that needs to be lost. I got in my car with tears streaming. If there was ever a moment of motivation, this was it. I have got to get to my goal weight. I can NOT have these things happening to me anymore. I have come too far to not reach that finish line. This is a race I refuse to quit....

F-ing Body Parts

2010-04-12T04:30:00.000-07:00

Ok...consider this my Monday morning to VENT..and I mean VENT A LOT!! If you are not ready for a blog full of twisted humor and full of expletives, you may wish to move on....oh heck stay...this is going to be good.

Sunday...4am...Walt Disney World. While the happiest place on earth sleeps, my happy behind is up, and out the door to make sure I get home and get my gear together to do a bike workout with my Team Tri Hard Triathletes. I also like a little morning quiet time with my coffee...and to do some writing.

730AM arrives...and so do my athletes...on time!! They are quite awesome. Have I mentioned that...ohh probably a million times in the last couple of weeks. I do a short nutritional seminar with them then its off to cover 15 miles on the bike. I send them down the trail and jump on my bike.

As I clip in and bend my left knee, it felt like someone hit me with a 2 x 4. Yikes...that hurts like hell!!! Another push and it still hurts but its not as bad...and I head on down the trail.

15 miles later...all my athletes are in and I am off my bike and trying desperately not to show that walking at this point HURTS. I rack the bike and head back to Disney where my husband and friends are waiting to go horseback riding. I get the "grease" working in my joints enough to hoist myself aboard my sweet horse named Trace and off we went on a 1 hour trail ride. When we finish, I dismount...and once again....I look like Granny from the Beverly Hillbillies making my way down the sidewalk limping as I go.

Stupid Body Parts. My left knee is really becoming an issue. My MRI is scheduled for this morning but I have decided that the world should come up with an easier way to replace the parts.

If you can slap new rubber on your car or rip out the transmission in your Chevy in a matter of hours...why not do that in people!!!

REALLY!! We have the technology!!! There is gotta be a faster way to fix BODY PARTS!!! (insert frustrated snort here)

Im a triathlete...not a hobbling old woman (ok...maybe I am an old woman...comfortably in denial ) ...I got races to do, medals to grab and podiums to stand on (ok...Im still back in my dream world...work with me here).

Just frustrated!!! UTTERLY FRUSTRATED!! Find the problem and fix it Doc before I pull out my toolbox and do it myself!!

GRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Giving up....to get back up...

2010-04-06T19:53:00.000-07:00

Risk a change, overcome fear and win.....Unknown

What can I tell you...Im a planner. My Franklin Covey old style written planner is my compass. I know if I need information,
there is a good chance it is there. My races, plane reservations, phone numbers, birthdays, events...everything is right there.

I own several computers. I have a beautiful MONSTER SIZE Mac on which I write this blog. I have a highly functional laptop that goes on the road with me. All these computers have planning software (Outlook, ICal...etc).

I still am addicted to my paper planner....but SLOWLY...Im starting to move things to this century and my computer.

But just like that paper planner, there are times when you have to look at your old habits and ways and decide to make a change. I think that is the theme of my life this year: it's full of change. For years, my world revolved around my race goals and focused very little on other parts of my life. I have a wonderful husband who would smile and nod as I waxed poetic about the next triathlon. He understands. He is that way about flying. Now that he owns a fully restored Cessna 172, he is so happy!!

So as I deal with injury, scheduling conflicts and intermediate goals that will lead to that big goal of completing my first Ironman, there are things that had to take center stage and some things that just had to fall away...

Last December, I was lucky enough to get into the USAT Level 1 Triathlon Coaching Certification program. After my certification, I put together a Sprint Distance Triathlon Program with my Boot Camp called "Team Tri Hard". My team of 12 triathletes has been working since the beginning of May to complete, for most of them, their first sprint distance race. I couldn't be more proud. They are conquering their fears, learning about nutrition and equipment and pushing themselves beyond the limits they had set in their heads before they began this journey.

I remember that feeling. I remember not sleeping the night before my first race. I remember thinking that 3 miles of running would simply be impossible. Although the distances have changed dramatically, those same mental barriers exist. Instead of worrying about 3 miles..I worry about 26.2.

I might have postpone my Ironman goal for a year, but in exchange, I have gotten the most gratifying feeling...seeing others move forward in their fitness goals...I think I am more excited about their race than they are.

I have also had to evaluate what is more important in my life than just racing. I had the opportunity to be the assistant coach of the Central Florida Chapter of Team in Training's Triathlon Team going to the Nation's Triathlon in September. I was so excited when I found this out earlier in the year that I have been counting the days until that season started, however, my goals and desires for myself and my wellness have changed...and this coaching opportunity does not fit into that new schedule of goals..

So I had to let it go..I had to call Team in Training and let them know I would be a participant in the Nation's Tri and NOT a coach.

It was painful. I love helping people but there are times when you KNOW that you must get yourself WELL so that you can be more useful down the road. As I battle my compulsive overeating and try desperately to get down to my goal weight, some things have had to wait. Like Ironman, coaching for me has been the process of baby steps. I pray there will be other opportunities in the years ahead, but for now, the focus has to be on my body, my mind, my health...

What I give up now will hopefully pay off in the end.

Life minus the 3 hour run and the 100 mile bike ride

2010-03-29T17:53:00.000-07:00

My recent conversation with an Ironman Friend:

Friend: Melissa...this is your year off...remember!! You're not training for an Ironman

Melissa: Yeah, I know...I know..

Friend: That means you can train for a sprint or an olympic and have fun ...

Melissa: I had fun training for Ironman

Friend: Yeah...but you get that part of your life back...you don't have to spend 7 hours on your bike...or 3 hours on the run.

Melissa: WHAT?? YOU DON'T!!

So this is where I tell you....I don't remember what its like to train for a race that did not require the above. What's it like to train for an Olympic or a Sprint. It's been years since I did this. Three years of my life has been dedicated to a goal still unattained. The thought of training an hour and jumping out of the pool and being done for the day seems so....ODD!

I don't know what to do with myself!!

This weekend I did my longest workouts to date: an hour long swim then my 56 mile bike. Im trying to decide if I am really well enough to even attempt the Gulf Coast Triathlon but even the training for a Half Ironman seems so short to me. I am use to leaving my house on the weekend and being gone almost the entire day on the road racking up the miles.

Saturday afternoon, I went shopping. YES...Me...shopping. Talk about a unusual event. Saturdays are for sweating, getting used to aerobars and figuring out if can tolerate THAT MUCH gatorade in a 7 hour period.

Last year long about August, I would have killed someone for an Saturday afternoon at the mall. Saturday I feltl strangely lost as I went from store to store. Believe me, I come from a mother who would be on the Olympic Shopping Team if it existed...I KNOW how to shop.

The shift in priorities feels odd. It feels like I an old friend has moved out of town.

This weekend I am traveling with my husband to the Keys to celebrate his birthday. It will be another weekend where I don't get up at 4am to do a workout. I am looking forward to sleeping in but there is the athlete in me that wants to run.

It's all a part of the journey....

Watching the makings of triathletes

2010-03-28T14:20:00.000-07:00

For several years now, I consider being a triathlon coach. I discarded the idea because of my size because I didn't think people would take me seriously. Most people have a tendency to read the cover instead of the book inside ....so to tell people I coach triathlon sometimes brings a shocked look to their face.

This morning, 6 of my 9 triathletes got up early and did a large brick to prepare them for their upcoming Sprint Distance Triathlon. I held a transition seminar where I taught each of them how to set their gear in the transition area and not make the mistakes I made or the mistakes I see at every race. If you're a triathlete, you know what I'm talking about. You gotta love the newbies that just don't know any different. They rack their bike wrong, they set their gear ALL OVER THE PLACE, they forget stuff or worse yet, they don't know how to pass or be pasted on a bicycle.

We set out on our 10 mile bike and our 2.5 mile run (and I stayed on the bike since I currently can not run) and I was filled with such joy. They were learning...and learning fast...and becoming fast. Their bike handling was more sure, and their transition were quicker. They asked all the right questions about proper nutrition, what to wear and what to do with their race number.

Ive got 9 people that are going to be a positive part of the triathlon community. How blessed I am.

I really shouldn't be surprised at their amazing progress. They are all incredible people in their work and families. What has surprised me is the positive effect they have had on my life in the last few weeks. Sure, they complain about cold water, and uncomfortable bike seats...but I swear...its like watching a beautiful Magnolia burst into bloom. I couldn't be more proud.

I know I sound like a dork...but Im so excited for them. Some of them will do this race and check it off their life list as a task completed. Others, I feel, will cross that finish line and feel the same as I did....WHEN'S THE NEXT ONE!!

Gotta love the newbies!!

One Link at a Time...

2010-03-26T15:49:00.000-07:00

It is a mistake to look too far ahead. Only one link of the chain of destiny can be handled at a time." Winston Churchill

I want to thank "The Running Girl" for posting this quote on her blog. Her words constantly inspire me. There are so many bloggers on this world we call the internet that keep me moving in the right direction. One I even call my "Uncle Bob" (but note he is not that old) but his advice is what you would expect from that cool uncle that always understood your point of view as a kid. To these and so many others who have helped me in this journey...thank you.

The quote above is very profound. It reminds me not to get to far ahead of myself. Lately, that has been a problem. I want the weight gone YESTERDAY ..and as I'm sure most of you know...weight loss just doesn't work that way.

There are times I feel I should hide the difficulties that made me a 380 pound woman 11 years ago but even in this 200 pound smaller body, those difficulties continue to surface. When times get tough, I turn to food for comfort. Each day is a battle against the snack, the chocolate and the eating in my car. Each night is a war against eating in my sleep. I have resorted to setting up a "booby trap" in my kitchen to wake me before I eat. In the last few months, it has worked to perfection and I now no longer find the remnants of food on my counters. Some things are going well since January 1....others...are not.

By now, I wanted to be a lot smaller than 17 pounds down. My goal was 40 pounds by May 8th but that goal does not seem possible now. I hope to get over this hump but there are behaviors that are holding me back from my goal. It's so hard to admit that you have a problem with food.

When I went to celebrate my father's 80th birthday in the Bahamas, I was overwhelmed when I walked into my parent's home. Cookies, cake, chips and every kind of junk food imaginable graced the kitchen. It was like telling an addict they would have to stay in a crack house and not get high. The first night, I did well eating my normal meal and snacking on veggies. By the time we went home, the chocolate and cookies had made it to my face.

So once again, I am faced with some choices. Do I continue to try to battle this beast of an addiction with normal therapy at home or do I face it with help? With the prospects of an Ironman gone from my year, I had to switch gears and determine that weight loss IS my Ironman goal this year and I just don't think I can do it alone.....so....

I'm headed back to rehab!! (Insert Amy Winehouse song here)

I wonder if anyone understands how I struggled to admit this to the world. This will be my SIXTH trip to a closed environment where I can get my "&$%^&*" together. It makes me feel weak and stupid. I'm a smart person. This isn't rocket science. Too many calories in and not enough calories out equals weight gain. Its a simple equation. The bottom line, however, is this has more to do with what I am trying to shove down with food instead of with the food itself.

I have friends who are alcoholics who have told me that having a food addiction would be the absolute WORST. With help, you walk away from alcohol and don't have to touch it. With food, you have to deal with it several times a day for the rest of your life. Ok, so you can't get a DUI for being under the influence of McDonald's French Fries but you get my point. Using food for nourishment is the key....Using food as a comfort will eventually kill you.... and honestly ... I don't want to die like that.

I have several obligations that I must complete before I can focus totally on this quest. I have 9 incredible triathletes that call me Coach who will be participating in their first triathlon at the end of May. I continue to be a Fundraising Mentor to the Marathon Team with Team in Training even though I am unable to run the San Diego Marathon as I planned the first week of June. My family and I are traveling to the Caribbean the first week of June for our yearly family trip and I promised my business partner I would run Expedition Everest as his partner. Once those obligations are fulfilled, I will take two months to focus on me, on therapy and once again, getting my eating under control.

So, before I can dream again of that famous six word sentence from Michael Reilly, I have to address this link in the chain that leads to my dream....get healthy .. get lighter....get stronger...and then....the dream becomes reality

The Towel...

2010-03-25T12:49:00.000-07:00

You have a choice. You can throw in the towel, or you can use it to wipe the sweat off of your face.

I was on my favorite obsession known as Facebook where I saw the quote above and..it hit me...this is what i need to write about and put on paper.

The last couple days have been a challenge. I have been consistent with my workouts even though they no longer include running on the road. My life revolves around the pool and the bike and trying to keep my calories where they need to be.

With just a two weeks rest, my IT band feels 100% better. I would love to KILL the people that do my Physical Therapy, but their hard work has paid off. I still have a little soreness in my knee but nothing like it was.

My foot continues to be an issue. A slight stress fracture in my right foot is keeping me from doing that running I love to hate so I don my water shoes and hit the pool for a soggy jog. I never in my wildest dreams believed that I would miss the miles on the road but I really really do!!!

With all that said, my weight loss is stalled at 17 pounds. I considered bringing a loaded .45 to my last weigh in to give that damn scale what it deserved but good judgement got the best of me. My body has found a happy place and it doesn't want to budge. My eating has been solid but not perfect....but honestly...who's really is?? There are going to be days where you have a bite of birthday cake or lick the spoon when your Mom is making something delicious. I am NOT eating at night, I am not snacking in the afternoon but I do have a meal every once in awhile that exceeds my calorie limit for the day. I call this living the healthy lifestyle and maintaining what i have lost but I still have 25 to 30 pounds I would like to see disappear.

So...where do I go from here??? I could just give up. Throwing in the towel would be the easiest thing to do. I could just be happy at this weight and give up on all those dreams that are just out of reach..

But that's not me...

In the next few weeks, I will be making some plans to help with my weight. I refuse to accept my weight at this level. I am still considered obese and I want to live a long happy life. If Ironman can't be the goal this year, getting closer to my goal weight is...

Stay tuned...exciting and positive things are on the horizon!!!

You adapt...You adjust...You overcome

2010-03-15T19:30:00.001-07:00

A rather handsome Citadel cadet turned Marine told me that when I was just in my 20's. I guess the statement made such an impression on me, I married that cadet...and to this day he reminds me of those words when the situation requires.

I got back in the groove today but not in the typical workout fashion. Today, I did my run workout in the pool. With my special water running shoes, I looked forward to this workout with great anticipation. It seemed like it would be easy and fun...

I am here to inform you...it was fun...but easy?? Nope..not so much..

Running in the water is a challenge and for those of us that are vertically challenged, it is definitely MORE of a challenge because you can't cheat in the shallows. It definitely gave me a workout and I felt like I had accomplished some serious work when i exited the water.

After over 10 days of knee and foot pain and two doctor's visit, this is now my workout world. They believe that my IT band syndrome will heal with simple rest, physical therapy and NO running on pavement. My right foot, however, is a tricky issue. I have known for years that I had a hairline fracture in one of the bones on the top of my right foot. After Gasparilla, that right foot started to swell and I definitely had some pain. Normal xray showed nothing so an MRI has been ordered. Until the result return, I am logging the miles in the water.

At 46 years old, Im starting to feel like I am falling apart. First my stomach, now my leg and foot. Come on body, we got work to do!! I feel like I have had more obstacles in the last few weeks than i have ever had in the past...

Ahhh...but we adapt...we adjust...we overcome...yup....and its off to the pool i go tomorrow!!!

As always...Ill keep you posted!!!

Celebrating my Father's 80th Birthday

2010-03-14T11:34:00.000-07:00

This year has been my year to learn about priorities. On this certain Sunday, my plan was to blog about the Miami International Distance Triathlon. My mother, however, had other plans. She put together a huge 80th birthday celebration in the Abaco Islands and scheduled it this weekend. I had to make a choice. Once again, my family took priority and we headed to the Islands much to the joy and happiness of my Dad.

When I tell people I am going to the Abaco Islands of the Bahamas, they usually get a little jealous. To them, it is a tropical paradise. To me..it is definitely that but I also consider it my second home. I made my first trip to the Bahamas in the playpen on the back of a 38 foot boat. For over 40 years, my father spent every single summer and more in the Bahama islands. When he got a little too old to handle his larger boat, my father and mother decided to buy a second home in the Abacos and now they spend some of the year in the tropics.

There were no formal gowns or big time ballrooms set for this 80th birthday. This was a laided back affair that captured the spirit of my father's life. Surrounded by the children that he raised and videos from his grandchildren, our gift to him was a video presentation of the highlights of his life. I had seen a lot of the footage but I still cried. This man has accomplished so much. Judge, attorney, businessman, father, devoted husband, philanthropist, community leader and church elder, he really has climbed many mountains, helped many people, and succeeded in so many areas of life.

I guess that is why, sometimes, its hard being his only daughter. My parents had high expectations for me as I was growing up. I don't really think that I took the path they expected. I don't think they ever dreamed their daughter would do half the things that I do today and one thing is for certain: they are proud of me but they do NOT approve of my triathlon interests. After my last attempt at Ironman, they told me it was foolish to ever attempt anything of this sort ever again. This is when I stopped telling them about my training or about my desire to complete this goal. They just don't understand and at their age, it is truly unfair of me to expect them to change.

So, I never told them I cancelled a race to be in the Bahamas this weekend. It was not important. This celebration WAS. I am so glad that I shared this milestone with my Dad. It was a weekend I will remember forever.

Like my husband's 25th college reunion, this was a once in a lifetime weekend. There will be other Miami International Triathlons...but only one 80th birthday.

Priorities...I am learning to determine what is important and what can be attempted later. I believe God is teaching me patience: one thing I have very little of!!

The Scheduling Conflict...

2010-03-03T05:19:00.000-08:00

Have you ever had weeks or even months where EVERYTHING that you wanted to do is all scheduling on the same week or weekend?? Your friend is having a party but you have to work! Your Boss wants to send you on a great seminar trip, but your brother's wedding is the same weekend.

2010 is the year of the scheduling conflict...

I was slated to do the Miami International Distance Triathlon in March. My mother decided to plan my father's 80th birthday on the same weekend. NEEDLESS to say, I am going to attend my father's birthday party-family comes first.

I am slated to do the St. Anthony's Triathlon in April (one of my FAVORITE RACES) and my 25th College Reunion is the same weekend in South Carolina (Yes..Im that old..ever run past me in a race, you know how old I am anyway!!!). I have figured out a way to go for part of the reunion and still get to St. Anthony's in time to rack my bike and make the race but will it be a relaxing race weekend?? I think not...

So as my husband and I were planning our upcoming 25th wedding anniversary trip and other traveling adventures (because that is our FAVORITE thing to do...we love to travel), we decided to look up my husband's 25th Class Reunion at The Citadel-The Military College of South Carolina.

Nov. 6th, 2010......He looked at me in horror. Oh no....that's....that's....

Yes honey, I said...That would be Ironman Florida.

I decided to head outside to the mailbox to grab our mail for the day where I received a note from one of my college friends. She and her husband have decided to renew their vows for their 25th wedding anniversary...on Nov. 7th, 2010....in Charleston...the day AFTER Homecoming at the Citadel. This is the day I would need to be in Panama City to sign up for Ironman Florida 2011.

My heart skipped a beat. You are kidding me right???

It is in the life that we make choices. When I realized that The Citadel's Class Reunion was the same weekend as Ironman Florida 2010, the choice was easy...but painful. This is the place where I fell in love with my husband. For four years of my life, my world revolved around the hallowed grounds of this Southern Fortress that took boys and made them men. My husband was changed by this place and to NOT go and celebrate that time in our lives would be absolutely wrong.

There will be other races...there will only be ONE 25th class reunion.

When you work for months for a goal, sometimes its hard to shift gears, but this is what makes life so incredibly interesting. The question now is: what do I do?? One of the reasons I have been so successful in my consistent workout routine is that I have always had a goal race to work towards. The intermediate goal, at the moment, is the Gulf Coast Half Ironman in 65 days. I am focused on that but my ultimate goal was to lose 40 pounds by May 8th and consider doing Ironman Florida 2010. That is no longer an option.

There is Ironman Cozumel...but I hesitate to consider an international Ironman for my first race. I could use this year to just lose weight and focus on Half Ironmans and then go for the full Ironman in 2011. I could consider a non branded Ironman distance race...Honestly...I just don't know what to do.

What would YOU do??? Please...your imput is greatly appreciated!!!

It's a Beautiful Day-The Gasparilla Half Marathon

2010-03-01T14:00:00.000-08:00

Men often become what they believe themselves to be. If I believe I cannot do something, it makes me incapable of doing it. But when I believe I can, then I acquire the ability to do it even if I didn't have it in the beginning.”
Mahatma Gandhi

It's the Thursday before a race weekend. Hector and I complete a moderately easy workout on the treadmill and I am gathering my things to leave. As I am about to walk out of his office, I ask him the same thing I do before every race:

What's the plan??

Hector looked at me and said "You're gonna do something you have never done in a race before. You're gonna run 1/1's for 13.1 miles."

HUH?? Ok...Im a pretty crummy runner but even I can do better than 1 minute running and 1 minute walking. That's how I started this journey 10 years ago and how I made it through my first half marathon. I questioned this logic.

Hector's theory was this: Your cadence in your run is going to be short FAST STRIDES. Your walk will be long strides. Neither one will elevate your heart rate to the point of utter fatigue.

Hmmm..One and one's.

I left the office feeling like such a failure. Is this REALLY what my running has come to. Am I this old and this slow that THIS is my only options. This is REALLY it???

I left Saturday afternoon for Tampa hoping for the best, wishing for the utmost success but expecting much longer times than I would ever want in a Half Marathon. We got to the expo right before they closed, did a little shopping and settled in to our hotel just 3 blocks from the start line and had dinner. We hit the hay early but a party in the bar of the hotel was rocking until 330am. We didn't get the best sleep and I awoke to a terrible attitude.

This is going to suck, I thought to myself. But my friend, Sandi, is always upbeat and was excited about the race. It was contagious. My friend, Rick, made me coffee (nice guy..don't you think) and as we made our way to the start, I was positive that today would be a good day.

As I made my way across the start line, I hit my watch and my GPS and I envision a P.R. Today is your day, Missey, I kept saying. It's a Beautiful Day!!

I turned on my Ipod and...as if on cue...the song that began the run "It's a Beautiful Day" by U2 was filling my ears.

The start was crowded and the first mile included a small causeway. The runners were all reduced to a walk as we made our way up the small narrow bridge but the timing fell perfectly. The miles rolled on and I felt amazingly strong as my 1/1's seemed effortless. The air was cool and the sun rose with a gleaming shade of red and yellow.

Mile 9 came and I braced for what is usually the pain in my legs and a general fatigue. There was none. Mile 10 arrived and still no fatigue. It wasn't until 11 that I started to feel some fatigue but I chalked that up to the mental game. Its almost done, I told my body, lets keep moving.

In the first half of the race, I was shocked that I was on pace for a P.R. but the middle portion of the race seemed slower but steady. My last three miles were much quicker and I crossed the line, smiled for the camera, and looked at my GPS.

7 minutes faster than the MIami Half Marathon
3 minutes faster than the Space Coast Half Marathon
9 minutes off my P.R. of the Philadelphia Distance Run 3 years ago.

I was stunned. Could this really be??? My second fastest Half Marathon time ever....and I did it on 1/1's.

I was elated. I grabbed my phone before I even grabbed my medal and texted Hector my time. He was almost as excited as I was...

Finally...some Progress. Sometimes you just have to trust your coach.

I started walking back to the hotel and noticed my knees were a little sore but not to the point of agony. This felt NOTHING like Miami where I could hardly walk a block. This was good fatigue. This I could work with.

We grabbed a shower and returned home. My husband was waiting for me with open arms. He came home just as I had to leave for Tampa so all we got to do was give each other a hug and kiss as I headed out. It was nice to have him here to celebrate.

Im still very slow..and today my left knee is very stiff and sore but...its progress...sweet satisfying progress. I sat on my porch last night, staring at the moon and cried with relief. What a Beautiful Day indeed....

The Power of the Positive Attitude

2010-02-26T07:20:00.000-08:00

Its interesting how powerful the mind can be. I find evidence of brain power and the immense force it has on your world when I climb on a treadmill.

Yesterday, I had a running interval workout with Hector. He put me on the moving treadmill at an incredibly slow 3mph. I warmed up, we talked and the topic of scuba diving came up. I love to dive. For someone who has been overweight most of their life, being in the water gives the feeling of ultimate mobility. I feel like superwoman with a tank on my back. There is nothing I can't do when I am on compressed air. It is definitely one of my happy places.

As I walked on the treadmill, and began to job, Hector and I talked about how I became a scuba diver, then a Divemaster, then a Scuba Instructor. We talked about my favorite dive sites, scuba classes, working at Disney with "Diving Mickey" and all those happy things about one of my favorite sports.

I was getting winded. My heart rate was up but not to the point of exhaustion. I looked down at the treadmill and Hector smiled. I was running at 5.0 with little effort.

"Melissa...the mental block you have about running can disappear if you go to a happy place." "Think about diving or anything else that brings you joy and it will distract you from the negative thoughts you have about body image, being slow and running in general." "Your positive attitude will change your relationship with running...you will start to like it as much as you do scuba."

Well, I agree with that theory but I seriously doubt I could like anything more than scuba (except triathlon in general).

We continued the workout and I felt strong. When I finished I was tired but so inspired. The mental game really does make a huge difference in endurance sports.

So as I sit here looking back at my posts, I realize the negativity that often enters my relationship with triathlon. I don't look good in spandex. I'm slow on the run. I have DNF'ed two Ironmans. But then, I look at the positives of life as an "athlete". I'm still here when they told me I wouldn't be. I am running faster in the short distances than I ever have. There are so many positives that outweigh what I see as negative, that EVENTUALLY, the tables will turn.

I'm almost to that turning point...I can feel it....This really could be my year...

NEXT UPDATE: Sunday-The Gasparilla Half Marathon

Meeting "ED" head on...

2010-02-24T06:13:00.000-08:00

Welcome to the crazy mind of Melissa. Go ahead, have a seat, kick back and watch the insanity unfold...ohh...and have you met my "friend"....his name is ED.

No..."ED" is not a person. No...it doesn't stand for the issue that Viagra can remedy. "ED" is what I call my desire for food. "ED" stands for Eating Disorder.

"ED" appears about 2 months into a weight loss program and around the 10 to 15 pound weight loss mark. He rears his ugly head and tries to be the stumbling block to keep me from my goals and dreams. "ED" is...well....he's a real bastard!!

"ED" acts like your friend. Food can be that ya know. " ED" is there in the middle of the night when all that seems to be the right thing to do is pound down ice cream and chips. "ED" is the one who tells you one bite is fine...but it's never one bite...its always 12 or 14. " ED" is the guy who says "Ill start tomorrow...Ill be good next week ... or....I like myself this size."

"ED" doesn't belong at a triathlon, bike trainer session, boot camp workout or most importantly...ED doesn't belong in my head. "ED" really needs to take a hike or have an unfortunate accident.

I am currently hanging on by a thread with my weight loss. I stayed the same on the scale but in my peripheral vision, I can see "ED" standing in the shadows with a bag of M&M's and a good excuse. There are times that ANY excuse will do to consume too much food....at least in my world.

So...now that you know "ED" and he is out there for the world to see, it's easier for me to put him in the boxing ring and give him a good pummeling. Or better yet...for the triathletes...I say we put him in an Ironman with no body glide!!

Those are my strange ramblings for the day...feel free to opine if you so desire....I would love to hear from those who battle anything from negative thoughts when you race to dealing with an eating disorder. How do you battle your demons?

The tests are back..

2010-02-23T10:08:00.000-08:00

Well, after an Upper G.I. and a meeting with my gastric bypass doctor (he was amazed to see me...its been 4 years since my last visit to him), the verdict is in.

I have two peptic ulcers which are now being treated with two separate medications. I guess I should have posted this information before yesterday's blog but I was SOOOOO EXCITED about that workout, I just had to talk about it.

No one likes to hear about the medical mess that has been most of my life. The ulcers were the source of my pain but after a few days on the medication, the fire in my stomach is out and I feel a thousand times better. Is it totally normal?? Not yet but my performance in Hector's workout today was dramatically better than last week.

Last week, Hector put me on the Cyclops Stationary Bike to measure power and cadence while doing interval training. I made it through about half the workout when I just had to stop. My stomach was screaming, I couldnt hold down any water and I was miserable. We redid the test today and it made a world of difference. My power, speed and cadence was definitely improved and I felt like me again.

I also ended up sleeping almost 12 hours between a nap and sleeping through the night last night. I find sleep to be the most amazing thing ever. The rejuvenating qualities of sleep are a miracle and today I felt like I was much more alert and rested.

So things are improving and I hope this weekend's race will show those improvements in the way of a better finish time!

Focus has returned...

2010-02-22T15:54:00.000-08:00

FINALLY!!

I do not know how to explain it...but it was as if the lights were turned on in a dark room today in my workout.

Finally! The focus I have been searching for arrived. My run workout with Hector was challenging but not impossible. The discussion of form and movement was sinking in and I was finally DOING what Hector has been preaching for weeks...

FINALLY...

Me. Im back. Im not sure where I went or why i wandered off...but I have found my way back to the path where I need to be.

Today we zeroed in on form. Hector ran with me for the first time in awhile and I think we have a plan on how to lower my half and full marathon finish times. I will test it this weekend in Tampa as I go for the Gasparilla Half Marathon.

I don't have that giddy feeling of accomplishment.....I have the feeling of relief that my search has found where I need to be. I think the decision has been made to go forward towards my next Ironman. Many goals must be achieved before then but I feel like I am in the right place.

FINALLY...the Athena athlete and Ironman Dreamer has returned....

Distractions...

2010-02-21T05:28:00.000-08:00

By prevailing over all obstacles and distractions, one may unfailingly arrive at his chosen goal or destination.
--Christopher Columbus

I have to admit, I have been VERY distracted. After leaving Panama City Beach last year without a medal, I felt adrift. I felt like the ship with no sail, the car with no transmission or the triathlete with no bike. It was hard to gain focus again. Where do I go?? What do I do??

So other things in life came pouring in: charity work, family, expanding my business and just enjoying time at home. It's not to say that these things are not important because they are but some of these things are important but not CRUCIAL in my life. I get distracted very easily by saying YES too much and not saying NO enough.

I have a lot on my plate most of the time (in more ways than one....he he he..hey thats funny...LAUGH). After fulfilling a lot of obligations the last few weeks, I finally have a day to catch my breath and FOCUS. I have missed a lot of things that have brought me joy (including writing in the blog) and when those things are missing in my life, my quality of life slowly slips away.

If you see me not blogging, it is a bad sign. It is a sign that I am adrift again. It is a sign that I am not focused on those goals that are so precious to me: weight loss, a healthy lifestyle, being a good student of triathlon and being a coach to those that are just beginning their experience in this sport. If I am not here, I am not helping others who are fighting morbid obesity. I am not being a good steward to those who write to me a beg for advice on how to get off the couch, away from the ice cream and on the road where they belong. If I am not working on those feelings that push me to the land of food as comfort, I am not being a good wife to my husband...and that above all else is just not right.

Distractions SUCKS. So often, I say yes when the answer in my heart is NO....STOP!! I say yes when my schedule is bulging at the seams and it just can't take another obligation. The life balance is very hard to accomplish. What is even harder to accomplish is to find out what is most important in your heart and soul. All these things I say YES to are important to me...but I must determine what is my passion. What in my life can I simply NOT live without.

So this morning, as I sipped my coffee and enjoyed a morning before and afternoon run, I decided to sit and write in my blog and decide the things that were important. When things are quiet and peaceful, clear thoughts will come. When I removed the "white noise" from my world, I was able to see what clearly was my heart's desire and it came down to just a few things:

I grabbed a piece of paper and closed my eyes and wrote:

Husband/Family
Triathlon-a participant and coach
Weight Loss/Health
Charity

I stared at it. Could it be that easy? Those four simple things are my world. Why does it seem so crazy when Im living it?? I guess its because I let others dictate my path instead of letting that inner voice decide.

I have 25 pounds left to lose and I am running out of time prior to May. I searched my heart and I know for an absolute fact that I can not go another year without attempting Ironman Florida again. I must get to this weight loss goal. I can no longer "play around"....I can no longer be distracted. I need to stay on track....and writing here and being surrounded by those who are on that same path will help.

Obstacles...I don't see any obstacles..

2010-02-17T04:32:00.000-08:00

If you can find a path with no obstacles, it probably doesn't lead anywhere.”-Frank Clark

Last Wednesday night, I came home from work early from Disney (yeah...a short day) and had dinner with my hubby and settled in for the night of watching our favorite shows (right now its all Olympics...all the time). We went to bed early but I awoke at 2am with pain so serious in my stomach that it awoke me from a hard sleep.

And then...I was sick..and I mean REALLY sick. This was way beyond eating something that didn't agree with me. I ended up passing out not once..but three times during a two hour stretch. Something was seriously wrong.

I made it through the last few days until Tuesday when I awoke with another horrible stomach ache. I went to my workout with Hector anyway but had to stop midway through because I just couldn't continue. Hector looked at me like I was putting on a show but this was no show...I was in agony.

I learned a long time ago that you just don't ignore this stuff, so I made an appointment to see the doctor that has been monitoring my gastric bypass. After a brief discussion on the phone, he thought it would be a good idea to take a look at whats going on in my small stapled stomach. My appointment is today at 2pm where they will take a endiscope and go take a look-see! My doctor is guessing at this point, but he believes that I have an ulcer but he wants to make sure there is no other damage.

Ill keep you posted...

The 15 pound mark...

2010-02-15T08:33:00.000-08:00

Finally...after 6 weeks of weigh loss ups and downs, I made another milestone...15 pounds gone.

I am the MOST IMPATIENT person on the planet. This doesn't seem to be that much weight in my head. To someone who has lost around 200 pounds, 15 pounds feels like..well...a drop in the bucket...but then I had the ultimate compliment from one my biggest critics...

My oldest brother..

I don't care how old you get, in my family, the sibling rivalry is playfully still alive and well. Me, being the only girl, the ribbing is thrown out pretty thick and fast. Grow up being the overweight baby sister and you can only IMAGINE the garbage I took as a kid. Im not whining here...Im just stating fact.

So, when I ran into my brother in the neighborhood and he stopped, paused and stared at me...it made me a little nervous. I braced for what would certainly be the joke of the day about how I looked or how I was dressed or something.

Instead I got "Wow...you look great...you have definitely lost some weight!"

Excuse me...who are you and what have done with my oldest brother?? I fumbled around for a polite but shocked thank you and he headed on his way to sell a few more cases of beer (My brother works for a Beer Distributor...really...I know...how lucky could a sister get!!)

So I guess 15 pounds makes a difference in the real world of weight loss and not in the gastric bypass world where 15 pounds is the weight loss from your first week after surgery.

15 pounds down...25 to go until May 8th, 2010. Hmmm...it will be close!!

Harden UP.......

2010-02-02T03:17:00.000-08:00

Eyes open: 500am! Heavy sigh. This was finally a day to sleep in, rest and recover but I guess my body thinks sleeping in is about 500am. We started a new boot camp yesterday so equipment had to be delivered to start a 500am class...that meant I was up at 330am.

With coffee in hand, I sat down to my computer to read email and get my day together. I've been kinda down since Miami and I know I shouldn't be. In the past, it was ok to just "finish" the race. Now the bar is always set higher and it is very depressing when then goal is not achieved.

The first thing in my email: a suggestion from a friend on Facebook to join a triathlon group known as HTFU...Now for those of you who don't know the acronym, let me put it this way : it means HARD THE F... UP! Keeping the "F" silent, I guess you could just shorten it to "Harden Up"

I laughed. Isn't it funny how some things come to you when you need them the most. In my head, I could hear myself saying " Stop whining Melissa..its time to move on."

I did my best in the race, I finished. I didn't get swept into some bus and taken to the finish line. I wasn't in the medical tent. Hell, I was way beyond being last. I just didn't P.R.

I have to credit a fellow blogger for this quote because it was so perfect for my experience this past weekend. I found it in his blog and it was so wonderful, I ended up posting it on my facebook:

For in running it is man against himself, the cruelest of opponents. The other runners are not the real enemies. His adversary lies within him, in his ability, with brain and heart to master himself and his emotions.” -Glenn Cunningham

Time to stop being my own worst enemy.

The blister on my right foot had to be lanced Sunday night and I am not to run or cycle until Thursday. Today, Hector will put me on the swim treadmill for an hour :) Now that should be fun!!

Time to harden up....

The Miami Half Marathon...

2010-01-31T16:47:00.000-08:00

I have looked forward to this race for weeks. I have trained and stayed focus. My nutrition has been good and I have really been working on making sure my body is hydrated.

With that said...sometime you just wake up race morning and KNOW it's going to be a tough day. That was today.

430am....ugh...I hit the alarm and then made sure that my running partner, Rick was up and not sleeping in. I really don't want to do this today without at least having one friend at the start. This race was very popular last year with our circle of running buddies as we took a cruise after the race. It was AWESOME...run a half marathon BY the ship you are about to board and scream at the top of your lungs..."Fix me a margarita...Ill be there in a few hours..." It was a blast.

But this year, Rick and I crammed this race in between a lot of different life events. His girlfriend had surgery (nothing life threatening...thank you Lord) 5 days ago, his girlfriend's birthday party Friday night, my in laws will be arriving next week, AND Team in Training had their kick off meeting on Saturday morning which meant..we had to drive down to the race Saturday afternoon and return Sunday right after. Not EXACTLY a relaxing weekend with a race included.

I laid in bed thinking how wonderful it would be to sleep a few more hours. I thought about how the medal looks JUST LIKE LAST YEAR'S MEDAL...I could just wear the old one (NOT!!). I thought about hot coffee and a Sunday paper and maybe a visit to the Spa....but the course was calling so I made it to my feet and got ready and out the door of our Downtown Miami hotel at 530AM.

The race start was PACKED with over 18,000 runners but we made our way to our corral and before we knew it, the fireworks were going off and we were on the run. The run heads over a large causeway in the first mile so I ran just a little bit before slowing to a walk up the causeway.

Im a Florida girl and fully believe that HILLS were made for skiing, hiking and enjoying from the balcony of a beautiful hotel room in the Rocky or Smokey Mountains. I don't run hills...even if they are man made. Im learning..slowly...but for now..I walked that hill with gusto and ran carefully down the other side.

I was feeling pretty good in the first 5 miles. I had found a pacing partner named Allan from South Florida that was walk/running the race as I was. We made our way for the first 5 miles until he decided to walk the rest of the race and I kept going.

At mile six, we were on South Beach where we were greeted and cheered on by some of the most incredible Drag Queens you have ever seen. At first, I was stunned...then amused. The things you will see when you run a Half Marathon.

At mile eight, I started to have trouble with my feet but I couldn't figure out why. I had not changed my shoes or socks..they were the same model of shoe and normal socks I always wear but something was not right. My fear of falling behind got the best of my good judgement...so instead of stopping. I kept going.

By mile 11, I was really hurting but I am blessed to have that endorphin rush that some athletes talk about so I had difficulty pin pointing WHERE exactly I hurt. I knew my feet were the issue but I didn't know where...

I crossed the finish line 17 minutes slower than my best time. Definitely not the day I was hoping for. I had stuck to my run/walk plan until mile 10 where things kinda went to hell...but....it was a solid effort. I kept walking through the finish line and my feet began to pound with pain. I could hardly walk. What in the world have I done?

I made it to the front of the hotel where Rick was waiting, dressed and showered to help me to my hotel room. He had already finished, cleaned up and checked out. Someday, I want to be that fast.

As he helped me into my room, he removed my shoes...to a gasp and a shocked look on his face. "Missey, how in the world did you run like this??" I had 3 blisters on the left foot...but the right foot was pretty bad!!

To my horror, I had a blister...but not your standard blister. This bad boy was 5 inches long 3 inches wide and FULL of blood. It stuck out 2 inches from my right foot and looked like it would burst at any moment. We iced it immediately and then put all of my in an ice bath.

I called Hector and my friend and former Coach Beth for advice. I have had blister before but NOTHING like this guy. He had his own zip code. We put Preparation H on it (if you have never heard of using that stuff on blisters, you gotta try it..it really works) and wrapped my foot in a large bandage. I was able to get another pair of shoes on but I gotta tell ya, I am happier right now not having a shoe on that foot.

I was disappointed with my race but better to learn about my shoe issue (those shoes went into the trash) than to be dealing with this in an Ironman or Half Ironman race. These half marathons are really tune ups to help my running. Triathlon is the passion and the goal. I can tell some small improvements have occurred but I need to drop a bit more weight and work a little harder to get that PR. It was a solid and fun race even with all the difficulties!!!

I thought about posting a pic of my foot but I think it would gross you out!! Better to just post the race start photo!!!

Treadmill Territory

2010-01-28T16:10:00.000-08:00

So my last few weeks of training have been focused on running. Needless to say, running is my weakest event so Hector and I are determined to get some speed out of me. Today, however, I marked a milestone; I ran faster on a treadmill than I have ever done in all the years of training for triathlon.

For most people, it would probably be an average pace but for me it was amazing. At first, I watched Hector move the number higher and higher and I shook my head. He told me..."Melissa...your inability to do this is all in your head." "We're gonna run this pace for 30 seconds with 15 seconds recovery and we're gonna do it 5 times."

I was terrified.

It sounds dramatic but all I could envision was flying off the back of the treadmill like they do on the Biggest Loser. With just a few days prior to the Miami Half Marathon, I didn't want to fall and lose my chance to run. Fear fear fear. It just stands for : False Evidence Appearing Real.

"You can do this Melissa." Hector kept saying. "Relax, lean forward a bit and just kick back with your legs."

I was standing on the siderails of the treadmill watching the belt move and finally, I jumped on.....and to my absolute shock, it really wasn't that hard. The 30 seconds came and went faster than I could imagine and it really wasn't until the final rep that I felt that things got difficult but I believe that is mostly mental at that point.

We ended up doing two more sets of this and one final rep of 1 minute at my top speed. I was tired, winded but I got off the machine, looked at Hector and said "Are we going to do that again tomorrow???"

I love a challenge. I guess that is why I am in love with Ironman. The common man can push himself (or herself) to the limits of their physical and mental being. Today I did some pushing of my own.

The running world would find the speed that I attained today laughable but for me, it was a HUGE step forward. Im starting to believe more and more in my ability.

99 days until the Gulf Coast Half Ironman and 27 pounds left to lose. I have now lost 13 pounds since January 1.

A Square Peg in a Round Hole...

2010-01-26T03:56:00.000-08:00

Ive determined that life is too short to be depressed. Most of the time I am a very upbeat person with a fiery temper (Im working on that!) Im passionate about life and goals and dreams. Being sad, depressed or offended just doesn't fit into this world of mine.

But lately, I have been kinda down. I feel right now that I am adrift and not as happy as I would like to be. I don't think I could say Im depressed....I guess I could say that I lack direction and am losing focus.

Everyone tells me that I should be excited about a 12 pound weight loss in 3 weeks...but I am not happy with it. I am so tired of being the biggest girl in the room at workouts and being the slowest on the road. I know I am racing against my watch and myself but there are moment that I wish I could really run or bike with a group. I meet up with a group on the weekends but I can't keep pace with them. Everyone is always nice and waits for me to finish...but just once in my life, I wish I would achieve the speed and talent it takes to just be...well...average.

I know. This sounds like a "oh poor is me" post and I really don't want to be like that. I belong to a Tri Club at our YMCA where almost every single woman is lean and strong. I feel like that square peg in a round hole...I just don't fit.

Im not going to quit...thats just not me...but I guess I wonder when I will finally fit in this lean and strong sport that has become my passion....

Lessons from the Port-a-Potty (and it's not what you think)

2010-01-23T16:48:00.000-08:00

I love the weekends. Most normal people sleep in and have coffee cuddled upon their couch while reading the newspaper or watching TV. They might venture to the farmer's market or take a stroll down the hometown street for coffee at Starbucks.

I have NEVER been "normal".

The alarm went off at 600am (I have a brand new alarm clock thanks to Santa) and I proceeded to hit the snooze button. I rolled over and went back to dreams of Lord only knows what. The next thing I heard was my phone ring that I had a text message. My friend Beth sent a simple text that she was "on the road." On the road...to the 5k race we were running...in Winter Park (that is about 10 minutes from my house).....that starts at 730am. Local time: 635am!!

YIKES!!

I jumped out of bed, let the dog out, put on my running clothes, grabbed a hat and a race belt for my phone and car key and flew out the door to my car. My Golden Retriever looked perplexed...and hungry. "Sorry boy...you're gonna have to wait for breakfast!" and I was gone.

I made it to Winter Park by 655am and found a parking spot about a mile away from the start. I met up with Beth and some other friends as I made my way to the staging area. My next obstacle? I had not picked up my race packet yet. I found my number, got in line and watched as people start heading for the start line. I got my packet, put on my number, Beth helped me with my timing chip and we got to the start just as they start singing the National Anthem....ahhh...I can relax.

Well...not exactly.

It hits me...all of a sudden...that I really needed to find a portapotty. I thought to myself "Its 3.1 miles..I can deal with it". The gun went off..and off we went...and that's when I knew...I COULDN'T deal with it. I went off the road and directly to a port a potty. I looked...no toilet paper. I check the next, and the next and the next...finally the 6th one was stocked. I took care of matters and headed back for the road....6:30 minutes after I went across the start line!!!

I came out to the road to find myself basically alone. I always joked that someone had to be last...well...it's not a joke now. I thought about abandoning the race. I thought about cutting the course. I thought about a lot of different options but the only one that appeared to be the right option was to GO...and catch up!!

So there I was, running down beautiful Park Avenue in Winter Park Florida...alone..and determined. For a brief moment, my mind imagined a dark road and an Ironman mile marker saying Mile 23. What would I do then?? I broke into a faster run...and made my way down the avenue and around the corner. I could see the end of the race with casual walkers making their way. I was determined to catch them...and I did.

Once into the group, I started to set my sights on catching people ahead of me. I would focus on their jacket, or backpack or design on their shirt and pick them off one by one. Before I knew it, a mile was gone and I was still in the back but I was definitely far from last.

Mile 2 arrived and we were in the heart of the million dollar neighborhoods of Winter Park. I grew up riding around these streets on my bike as a kid imagining owning such a beautiful home. The owners were now out on the road cheering us all on.

I continued to pick off people and make my way. Finally we made the turn back to the start and I felt great. "It's just a 5k..I thought to myself.." but I see so much in this little race.

I came down the road with the finish in site. My friends were at the line cheering for me and wondering what in the world must of happened to me...but you do what you have to do. I crossed the line with a P.R....if you remove the time I was in the portapotty.

We can learn so much from such small things in this world. It is in these times that I know I had amazing parents that taught me right and wrong. It would have been easy to turn and head home when I didn't start with the group. It would have been easy to just cut the course and make my way up to my friends...but neither of these options would have been the RIGHT choice..the just choice. I learned a lot about myself as I made small goals and achieved each one as I past another person. So should ALL things be in life...achieving the small goals leads to the greater things we all dream of.

No medal...no big finish...but today's lessons are just as precious as a ribbon and medal around my neck.

Returning from the Land of Home Renovations

2010-01-22T08:11:00.000-08:00

Its the 22nd of January and here I am...Finally....back in blog land. Boy have I missed writing.

Where have I been?? Well...the week after Christmas, I decided that it would be an OUTSTANDING IDEA to renovate my ugly and outdated home office. I had had the same old desk and hutch for 15 years and an office closet that hadn't been cleaning out in about that long....so we cleared it out to the bare walls.

The process should have taken about 10 days..instead it took a month. The gentleman who installed the carpet cut it wrong and it had to be redone. The desk I ordered from Pottery Barn was shipped promptly but the UPS truck had an accident and that delayed its arrival for about 7 days. I decided to replace the baseboards and put in new bypass doors on the closet..that took another 5 days. They always say..the best laid plans...

But finally...after cleaning out a cluttered office closet and 15 years of junk, I have a beautiful new office that is gray, black and white and absolutely serene. It is now the perfect place to work and write and basically communicate and have fun.

We still have the finishing touches to do...custom shutters to install on the windows (they take 6 weeks to construct), shelves to affix to the walls and certificates to hang....but for now...I have gone from working on a card table to working in a peaceful place. Its all good!!

Since January 1, I have lost 12 pounds. Ok...so I would be voted off the Biggest Loser with those kinds of numbers but for now I am very proud of my loss. I am training with Hector 3 days a week and focusing on my running. I can actually see the progress in my form and speed. I have been consistent and focused.

I ran the "Disney on Ice" Half Marathon two weeks ago. 28 degree temperature at race start + sleet + snow makes for some seriously miserable race conditions. I am a native Floridian and I don't do the cold well. I had an asthma attack at mile 10 but had my inhaler at the ready. I finished...my time was terrible..but we made history. I don't think we will see another Disney Marathon Weekend in the snow for many years to come.

Although I ran Disney, my goal half marathon is Miami next weekend. My primary goal is to get a P.R. but if that doesn't happen I would like to get within 5 minutes of my best time. When I ran my P.R. in Philadelphia several years ago, the weather was a cool 50 degrees, no wind and no hills. Miami will definitely be a bit warmer and includes some causeways. I would just like to see my time be close.

Ironman is always on my mind and in my heart. I am making some steps (although small) towards that weight loss goal in May. I believe I will be down the 40 pounds by May and then we can decide whether Ironman is in the cards for 2010. For now, I am enjoying focusing on better running form and speed, weight loss...and a pretty house.

Last night I was installing a new wall shelf in my office. I followed the directions, used a level to make sure the shelf was straight, took great care in drilling the holes for the bracket and installing the dry wall anchors. I got a little cocky thinking "Hey...Im pretty good at this...". I lifted the shelf up to slip it on to the bracket and realized that I had not measured correctly and the shelf was off center by 7 inches. That meant I had to unscrew the entire bracket, remeasure, redrill holes etc. I looked up at the wall and laughed...it reminded me of Ironman ...

You train and follow the plan. You take care of your bike, your body and your mind and prepare as prescribed. You arrive at Race Day and think "Im ready..." and then you find out...you're not and you gotta do it all over again...

I rehung the shelf...I took the time to do it right and it looks gorgeous. Did I wanna do the task twice?? Heck no....but Im glad I did. Just like with Ironman....Im gonna get it done...Im gonna do it right...and when the finish line arrives...it will be beautiful!!

And so it begins..

2010-01-02T13:14:00.001-08:00

(NOTE: I have been very delinquent in my blogging but I'm getting back in the groove. Here is the post from early Jan. 2010 that I just forgot to edit and publish. Watch for more up to date postings as my office and home computer are back together)

2010 started with an incredible evening of fun, glamor, quick changes and great surprises. My husband and I first headed to a friend's house for an early dinner and to hang out with a few friends until 845pm. We then ran home, switch out of our jeans and t shirts into a tuxedo and gown and head to the "James Bond Dressed to Kill" New Year's Eve party with our friends Rick and Lisa who looked AMAZINGLY like characters from the film.

Now the flyer for this party promised a costume party that never occurred but we still have a good time sipping on martinis (shaken not stirred of course) and seeing the other costumes. The party was so packed that we never made it into the area with the dance floor and stage. We ended up deciding to leave about 1100pm with no particular plan.

As we started the drive home, my friend Lisa suggested we find head to our local cafe for a quiet midnight celebration. As we approached the cafe, it was closed up tight. Oh dear. What do we do now?? Do we just go home?? Do we try another restaurant?

We drove by our favorite Greek restaurant and the music was blaring!! PERFECT, I thought to myself. This could be a fun cultural New Years celebration. We walked in the door of the restaurant and realized that it was a wedding party...complete with broken dishes on the floor, Ouzo flowing freely. Hmmm...don't think this will work either!!!

We walked across the street to Gargi's Italian Restaurant which is right next to our workout site for Boot Camp. I have seen the restaurant 3 mornings a week for 7 years but have never had dinner there. We step through the door and the owner was thrilled to see us. The kitchen was closed but he welcomed us in to what seemed to be a private family gathering but they were so kind we couldn't help but get caught up in the music , the balloons and the fun!!

They offered us a beautiful table on the patio facing the lake and next to the dance floor. The music was Cuban of all things (in an Italian Restaurant...what a shock) and we ordered a bottle of champagne. Just as the popped the cork, the fireworks display started across the lake at a local private club. It was the perfect vantage point for a great display and a wonderful way to ring in the New Year.

We counted the seconds down and toasted the New Year in. My husband I enjoyed every second as it has been a number of years since we have been together on New Years. We danced, hugged and kissed...a beautiful beginning to 2010...

I have great hopes for 2010...I hope you do too.

A Clean Slate

2009-12-30T10:39:00.000-08:00

What is about that new calendar that you hang on the wall...or the new pages in your Franklin Covey planner that give such a sense of hope....of possibilities....of dreams that are just waiting to be realized. Those pages inspire me; they motivate me; they are fuel for a raging fire that is just waiting to be ignited at the stroke of midnight on Dec. 31st.

A new year. I could use a New Year. Now, Im not saying that I didn't learn a lot from 2009....Lord knows I did...but there is something about turning that page and learning to write a new year number on your checks or type it in your emails that just makes me feel refreshed...

A clean slate...

If I could pick up that slate, there are just a few words I would write on it to describe me in 2010....

Lean

Fit

Healthy

Devoted Wife

and the one I have been yearning for for almost 5 years now...

....Ironman...

What are you writing on your clean slate??

Happy 2010 everyone!!!

The land of resolutions

2009-12-27T06:49:00.000-08:00

Christmas is over and we are in that strange week between holidays where its hard to get a lot of work done. Some offices close during this week entirely. For me...it is always the week to reflect on the year.

This year had its moments of triumph and pain. I overcame some fears and demons...and came up short in some endeavors. My heart is full with the great blessings I have been given...but I still am passionate about achieving those last two goals that have eluded me: achieving my goal weight....and an Ironman Finish.

So as I went out on my walk/run/stumble this morning in the cool Florida winter air, it gave me tons of time to think and ponder 2009. A smile crossed my lips as I remembered finishing the Amelia Island Half Ironman. No jellyfish, no DNF here...and a P.R. to go with a medal around my neck.

As I remember Ironman Florida, there are so many mixed emotions. I am proud that I actually made it to the start line healthy and up for the challenge of the day. There are many that don't make it that far. I am happy when I think about all the people who were cheering for me, praying for me and hoping that I would cross the finish line. I am blessed that people cared that much to track me on race day and for my friends to come and support me in my quest. I do still feel sadness that, once again, the Ironman Finish Line eluded me....and the moment I took my chip off for the official plays over and over in my mind.

If we didn't have the disappointments in our life, we would not be able to enjoy the victories to the fullest. I remember waking up the morning after Amelia Island and feeling that victory! I remember feeling strong and happy! As I head into a new year, I want to remember those victories...and those disappointments and have them fuel me through the months to come.

There are many people that don't believe in the Resolutions of a New Year. I am one of the people that does. I believe that setting the bar high and shooting for the stars will only enhance the richness of life. It would be easy to turn around and walk away from Ironman saying that I gave it my best and it is just beyond me...

But that's crap...

NOTHING is impossible. EVERYTHING is possible if you believe hard enough, work hard enough and give it 110% of your effort. I could name the people I have watched in past years that proved that to me just in the Ironman community: Team Hoyt, Sara Reinertsen, Brian Boyle and John Blais are just the first few that come to my mind and prove my point. This is possible.

2010 holds the promise of dreams realized. I can not just walk away from the bar that I have set and just live life in mediocrity. I will keep believing. I will keep dreaming. I will achieve two things this year: my weight loss goal...and my Ironman Finish.

Now do me a favor....when it gets really hard around ooohhh lets say, June, remind me of this post!!

Happy 2010 to everyone...

The blessings and joy of Christmas

2009-12-25T05:19:00.000-08:00

Christmas Eve...my routine for the last 5 years has been the same...I go to evening carols with my parents at 430p...church at 5p and then to my brother's home with his family for Christmas Eve dinner. I would always come out of church and look up in the sky ... for thats where my husband would be...in the pilot's seat getting people to their families but not being with his.

This year, we got lucky. Steve bid his December schedule and what to our wondering eyes should appear...Christmas Eve, Christmas Day AND New Years Eve...OFF. I could hardly catch my breath. My husband...home for the holidays.

We started this marriage 24 years ago as a military family. At that point, I knew that holidays with my husband would be rare...then he became a civilian and we enjoyed a number of years as a "normal family" with the holidays off. As he entered the aviation industry, the mindset returned to having holidays when we could..on the airline's schedule.

But tonight...and tomorrow...my heart is so full. I picked my husband up at the airport and I cried. Its been so long. We missed church...but I think God will understand...I opened my Christmas present the moment my husband opened the car door.

My wish is that you too are getting to enjoy being with your family at Christmas and drinking in the happiness that comes with the season.

Merry Christmas everyone

Watching a Dream Unfold...or slip from your fingers...

2009-12-20T18:58:00.000-08:00

Amongst the hustle and bustle of a crazy holiday weekend, I set my watch alarm and my DVR to watch the epic event of my favorite sport...the Ironman World Championship in Kona Hawaii.

Like the Super Bowl is to Football and the World Series is to baseball, "running Kona" is the pinnacle of Ironman Triathlon. To make it to "the show" is an honor. To finish it is something truly worth celebration. To miss the cut off in this competition is a heartache like no other in the sport of triathlon.

As I watched this drama unfold, I felt the exhilaration of the start. The pros talked about the 30 minutes before the gun goes off as the most frustrating time in the race. You just want to get started. I knew that feeling so well; that uneasiness in the pit of your stomach and the lump in your throat.

As I watched the gun go off and the mass move forward, I closed my eyes and I was in the water getting pushed and shoved and even moved forward by the mass of people. I was so relieved to be started towards my dream. The excitement in the show was so moving. Is it any wonder that this telecast spawns so many new triathletes. You want that feeling. You want that drive and vision. You want that victory.

But as I watched the end of the swim segment and the bike segment, I felt the heartache of two athletes: Kyle Garrett and Rudy Garcia-Tolson.

Kyle Garrett, cancer survivor and heart transplant patient misses the swim cut off by 7 seconds. As I watched this unfold, the tears rolled down my face and they just wouldn't stop.

But it wasn't until they showed Rudy Garcia-Tolson that the emotion of their day came to a climax. Rudy is a double amputee that can only handle a bike using his prosthetic legs and his glute muscles. As they stopped him at bike transition because he missed the bike cut off, Rudy was quite composed. He said he had given it everything he had and there was nothing more he could have done. His reaction reminded me of mine at mile 110 of the bike as I was stopped by the officials and my chip was removed. There were no tears....I knew I had done everything I could do on that day...no need for emotion.

But on this December day, I realized that I had not fully worked through the emotion of letting that dream slip away. Watching someone else experience the same thing brought it all to a head and I finally DID cry...and I cried a lot. When you can feel the emotion and see it unfold in front of you instead of being in the midst of it, it is so powerful. I felt for Rudy...I felt for me.

I am happy to report that Rudy is now an Ironman. He completed Ironman Arizona a few weeks later.

My day is coming...My hurdles are different than Rudy's or Kyle's but we share that common desire....to win our own race in our own way. My hurdles seem so simple to others while to me they are a constant battle that I face every day.

No more tears. Im so ready for the new year, the new season, the new me, and the newest chapter of the journey. Im ready to surround myself with positive people and keep a coach with true vision. I am eager to be the person I know I can be: she is just hiding and being beaten down by addiction and lack of self esteem. If I can slay those demons...she will take charge.

A new name that I hope I live up to...

2009-12-09T18:26:00.000-08:00

For years, I have studied this sport we call triathlon. Yes! Studied! I feel like this is an endevour that requires persistance and knowledge. Last week, I gain a little more knowledge after I got the chance of a lifetime.

Rewind back to Labor Day weekend and a drive to Panama City to train on the Ironman Bike Course. It was my birthday weekend and I made the decision to train instead of do something fun. I needed to fit everything in: a swim, long bike and a long run so I got a jumpstart on my journey to North Florida.

This,however, meant that I would not be sitting at my computer in anticipation of the class for USAT Level 1 Coaching Certification to open. In the past, I have sat at the computer and tried desperately to get one of the 40 seats offered for this training but could never get online in time to get a slot. As a favor to me, my business partner, Rick and his girlfriend Lisa, poised at their computer and watched as the seconds clicked by. 9am arrived and they began to type feveriously. The idea was to get me in first then get Rick's application submitted. As I drove, the phone was on speaker as I listened to Rick type as quickly as he could.

And then..it appeared. Confirmation that I was registered. He then set to work on his application...

I was incredibly excited until I heard him say "You're in..but I'm not...its sold out."

DAMN IT!! Now I feel like a heel. My dear friend had done me a favor and he sacrificed his chance to get into the class to help me. Now thats a true friend. In the end, it worked out that Rick did not get into the class. Lisa got her vacation week and they traveled to Las Vegas for several days of fun while I went to class.

For 3 days, I sat in a conferenced a learned so much, I thought my head would explode. By day, I was taking notes and asking questions and by night, I was headed out for dinner and shows and the sights of the Las Vegas strip.

I was quite intimidated when I entered this class....but after introductions, I learned that people take this course for a variety of reasons. Some will use it just for their own knowledge. Some will use the information to coach privately while others are starting teams and working with existing Tri clubs. As for me, I want to put together a program of beginner triathletes with the boot camp.

It was fun, informative and exhausting. I have a take home exam to complete and then I will be certified as a Level 1 Coach. I got on the plane home with the sense of accomplishment. This life is full of exciting adventures to come.

I came home to a mound of mail and an office that looks like a bomb went off. Between decorating, presents, parties, training and hiring new people for our boot camp, I have hardly had a moment to write. I hope this blog entry finds you well in this crazy season!!

The Award....

2009-12-01T14:57:00.001-08:00

Last night I attended a holiday social for Team in Training for the Nation's Triathlon Team for 2009 and 2008. I was incredibly excited to see all my friends who had run the race in the last two years. Fun stuff!!

As I arrived at one of our favorite BBQ restaurants and watering hole, I noticed that my parents were sitting at one of the tables. My parents?? Here?? That's odd. Then my middle brother arrived. Hmmmm....something is up!!! Then my business partner, Rick and his girlfriend Lisa walked in. Now I KNOW something is up.

So we talked and caught up with all our triathlon addicts. We talked about the 2009 season and what was in store for 2010. People tip toed a bit around Ironman but finally started to ask about it and discuss it when they realized that I wasn't laid to waste by the DNF. Sure, I would love to be walking around with an M-dot necklace around my neck (I promised Mom I wouldn't get a tattoo), but...there are more adventures to be had on the way to this Ironman goal.

We ordered dinner and I was still perplexed...and then...it all became clear.

My very first Team in Training coach, Coach Clint Carbonneau, got up and proposed a toast to the entire team and wished us all a great holiday. He then asked me to come up to the front of the room where he pulled out a two page "speech". Yikes...what is this about??

And here some of the speech went:

"We gathered here because all of us feel you deserve to be noticed as someone with a huge heart and lots of Iron Effort. I think we were all online, or texting each other on Nov. 7th when you were off on your Ironman adventure. I believe all of our hearts dropped when we heard you were pulled at mile 110 on the bike. I know I received 3 text messages from 3 different people telling me of your DNF.

I believe I am speaking for all of us here when I say that we could care less if you received that IRonman medal or not. In our hearts and minds, you received that Ironman medal a long time ago. The Ironman medal is not large enough and does not encompass what you should receive. The efforts you put forth in training and more importantly helping others, is what all of us here see in you.

Melissa, there is nothing you can not do as we have all seen, if only half the people in the world had the heart and gave the efforts you do day in and day out, we would all be better off.

So we came up with this award we all wanted to share with you and the title really tells it all: The Iron Heart Award.

Thank you for sharing so much of your heart, your experiences and your friendship with all of us."

Inside a beautiful Purple Bag (of course it was purple..its Team in Training right??)...was a glass trophy...with a swimmer, biker and runner. It reads: Lifetime Iron Heart Award Presented to Melissa Daly 2009

To say I was stunned doesn't really cover it. I got that feeling in the pit of my stomach like I do right before the gun goes off in a race. My husband squeezed my hand. My father hugged me. My mother smiled and wiped away a tear. My brother gave me a highfive. My team stood and applauded.

And that 380lb woman who still lives in my head took a backseat for just a moment in time....and the triathlete, the volunteer, the fundraiser, the cancer fighter, the Ironman dreamer walked forward....just for a moment. So many emotions and so much positive energy: Wow. How do you describe the feeling of true caring? I am sitting here crying just writing it all down. What amazing people I have gotten to know in this journey of mine. How blessed could I be???

So the question was asked: Will you try a 3rd time? As my parents stared at me, my brother grabbed my shoulder. He knew. He knew I can't let a dream die. He told me a few days ago that, if Ironman was my heart's desire, then I better go get it done before its too late. "Don't let your shot pass you by."

So I explained to all of them that my top priority was to lose 40 pounds. If I could do that before May 8th, 2010, Hector and I would sit down and consider an Ironman run in 2010...but NO Ironman would be attempted again at this weight! They were all thrilled!! Some of them told me they were considering an Ironman in 2011..something they had never even dreamed of before Team in Training!! Isn't that a wonderful thing!!

As I set the trophy in my workout room, I gave it a cherished, special spot so I could see it from my treadmill. As I was walking out, I noticed the empty spot left on the wall. My walls are filled with photos, jerseys and medals from the last 10 years of this journey but there is one spot on one wall that remains blank...

It won't be blank forever...just for now...just a few more hurdles to overcome....

The dreaded scale and the week after Thanksgiving

2009-11-30T12:12:00.000-08:00

Soooo...I followed my plan this week..considering the avalanche of food that was placed in front of me. From Thanksgiving at Disney, cooking for events and a multitude of food choices at the end of a half marathon on Sunday, I made some smart choices

Or so I thought...

With a long work day on Thanksgiving AND a completed Half Marathon, I gained 1.8 pounds.

Total Utter Frustration.

But I have not lost hope. I have not thrown up my hands and said "Oh well...I guess I can't make it to my goal." That is what I have done in many years past. After two weigh ins at Weight Watchers, I usually disappear into a sea of excuses because I just can't stand the damn scale...

Not this time...

My dream is attached to this goal now. My dream of becoming an Ironman rides on getting this weight off. Many people told me that I should have waited until AFTER the holidays to start this weight loss journey...but then I would have run the risk of gaining 5 or 7 pounds during Thanksgiving instead of my 1.8 pounds.

No excuses. No compromise. It sucks that I didn't lose this week but I am determined.

Stay the course....

The Space Coast Half Marathon

2009-11-29T17:02:00.000-08:00

For several years, I had a group of girlfriends who loved to run half and full marathons. We planned birthdays and holidays around traveling to a destination, celebrating and running the race. When I started to train for Ironman, my ability to make those planned events disappeared and I truly missed traveling with my buddies. We rekindled that fun this weekend at the Space Coast Half Marathon.

Just an hour away from Orlando, my friends Beth, Sandi and Terri traveled over to the coast to enjoy the pre event pasta party and hearing Jeff Galloway speak!! The man is truly an inspiration and it was such an honor to shake his hand and get a picture with him. If you think about it, I probably would never have attempted a half marathon without hearing about the Galloway method. His theory of walking and running an endurance event made it seem very possible for me.

My friends and I grabbed a room at the Country Inn and Suites for the night so that we didn't have to get up at 300am to make the 600am start time of the race. We all spread out in the suite, setting our clothes and shoes and laughing about the race to come. It was like a slumber party of days past.

The 400am alarm went off way too early and I started my race routine as always. Coffee and oatmeal to start my day while the girls stumbled around at this pre dawn hour. We got on the road at 5am and found a parking spot near the finish line (much to my surprise.)

After one trip in the portapotty line, we headed to the start and met some other friends from Team in Training. Before I could even be nervous, the gun went off and we were on our way. Over 2500 people were signed up for the event unlike years past when we only had about 600.

Running in the dark....as soon as I got in my zone..it hit me. This is what I was suppose to be doing a few weeks ago...running in the dark. My parents were shocked at the Ironman that people ran in the dark and into the night. If they had seen me this early morning they might have been amazed. It was a perfect morning for a race: temps in the 50's, no wind and an absolutely beautiful sunrise as we ran along the river.

Hector and I had discussed this race a few days earlier. "Melissa...this is NOT your "A" race. I do NOT want you pushing yourself too hard. Run in a zone where you are comfortable. If you start to feel some serious pain...WALK."

Pain? Pain is just a state of mind right? At least that's what the back of my running shirt said this morning. Its the only shirt I own that has an Ironman logo on it and does designate 70.3. It is that mindset that I believe gets you through. Endurance racing is MENTAL. You gotta wrap your head and your body around the miles.

Mile 1 to 7 were beautiful. I reached the turn around in 1:29. Ok..I know..for you hardcore running folks, this is slow. For me, its a miracle. My P.R. in the half marathon is 3:09. I was ahead of my best and feeling great. Mile 7 to 10 were a bit more of a challenge but I was still feeling fantastic. I was eating on my normal schedule, drinking at every water stop and REALLY having fun!! Isn't that what this is about.

At mile 10.5, it suddenly hit my hamstrings that I had not really trained in 3 weeks. A few short runs here and a few swims there didn't really prepare me to run a PR. I toyed with the idea of pushing hard...and then I remembered what Hector said....this is not your A race. This is a fun race. As hard as it was not to push forward, I dropped to a walk.

The Space Coast race route is a beautiful one. Winding along the Indian River, I started to really appreciate the sites of this course. You could see the Vehicle Assembly Building at the Space Center and the homes along the course were already decorated with lights for Christmas. The water stops were all space themed and the volunteers were delightful. Sometimes we get so caught up in P.R.'s, cut off times and race strategy that we forget the fun that is in endurance racing.

I wear an Ipod when I do marathons and I have a playlist of songs that inspire. Everything from hard pounding rock to songs with words that motivate. At mile 12, the song "Bring It On Home" by Little Big Town rung in my ears. My husband talked about this song as the perfect song to describe him waiting at the finish line. It brought tears to my eyes. My world has been focused on the finish line for a year. This wasn't the line I was hoping for but, for now, it was a finish that I needed to boost me up a bit. My iphone buzzed at that moment. It was my husband, cheering me on as he made his way back to Orlando. What interesting timing.

I rounded the corner into the park and there are my Team in Training crew...waiting as always for me to make it in. They were screaming and their cheers brought a smile to my face. How blessed I am to be a part of a great group of people who run for more than the joy of exercise and accomplishment. We run to raise awareness, money and hope for those battling cancer. Today was a fun day but we dedicated the race to a Team in Training teammate who has relapsed and is once again battling for his life. Doug Oxedine has done several seasons with Team in Training and is a fighter...he was on my mind as I ran across that finish line and looked at my watch.

3:23. Ok...for the world...this looks like I stopped for lunch along the way. For me, its the second fastest half marathon I have ever done. I was so caught up in the course and the people, I stopped looking at my watch after mile 10.5. I am so blessed to be able to do these kind of races now...just for fun. Who would have ever thought that would be possible just 10 years ago.

So for those battling cancer, specifically Doug, this race was for you. My prayer is that we won't have to raise money and run in honor or memory of cancer patients. I pray that soon, we will have the cure.

Amateur Night is upon us...

2009-11-25T10:17:00.000-08:00

**GIGGLE**

Ok...ok...the joke is old...but it is the honest truth. To those of us with compulsive overeating issues, Thanksgiving is Amateur night!! In years past, I have watched perfectly normal weighted, normal minded family members stuff themselves like the Thanksgiving bird on this holiday. My eyes widen with wonderment as they groan that they will "never eat like that again."

Really?? Never??

Yeah...right.

And Im Santa Claus...just wait for Mom's Prime Rib on Christmas Day.

All kidding aside, Thanksgiving is a challenge for those of us battling overeating and weight. Its tough. As we approach Turkey Day, it becomes more difficult to walk into a grocery store without getting blasted with the smell of cakes, pies and bread being made in the bakery or the multiple samples of food throughout the store. Believe it or not, those tastes along the route around the store add up...and not in a good way.

As I have said in a previous post, I am working on Thanksgiving but it comes with its own set of pitfalls. Last night, I was asked to bring a side dish and dessert for the day. The side dish was easy...Im making a spinach casserole that is fairly healthy but the dessert?? These folks are not the "fruit for dessert" type.

So I decided to make cookies. I always have my secret weapon at hand when making baked goods: chewing gum. If you are chomping away on gum, it makes it a little more difficult to taste or eat the cookies. When they are done, I am putting them over at a friend's house until I leave for work. That way: no temptations.

I am also running the Turkey Trot before I go to work. A nice 5k will help burn off some calories. Today was suppose to be my first outdoor running workout since Ironman, but it is pouring rain. Looks like the treadmill for now.

There is so much to be thankful for during this very special season. I love Thanksgiving because it makes you stop and think of all your blessings. I am thankful for a crazy but solid family, an amazing husband of 24 years, caring and real friends, a beautiful home and most of all...I am thankful for my life..and that I got a second chance to live it fully.

But my biggest blessing this year is one you might not see as a blessing at all. I am thankful for the opportunity to take another shot at Ironman and the challenge of losing the rest of this weight. Most would say I was cursed on Nov 7th. I say it was God's way of getting me on the right track to make a better me. What a wonderful journey this will be.

I hope you are counting your blessings and enjoying time with your family. Remember...its about the people..not the food (ok..it can be a little bit about the food!!) Enjoy!!! Happy Thanksgiving...

The first weigh in...

2009-11-24T04:05:00.000-08:00

One of my new friends at Weight Watchers said to me, "You're gonna BLOG your weight loss or gain??" I told her, "Yes...see then Ill be accountable to more than just my family.." She then told me she didn't know how she would feel about being accountable to "the world".

It's ok...I like that blogging world. This is me. This is my cheap therapy. And, from what I can tell, the people that read my blog are some of the nicest people in the world.

So I decided I needed the support of a group and the accountability that Weight Watchers provides. My doctor was ok with it as long as I keep a log of my food and I followed some of her requirements for my thyroid issues.....so there I was...at my first meeting. I had weighed in on my doctor's scale two weeks ago and knew the number I needed to beat. Heck, I went so far as to wear the same dress I wore to the doctor's office just to compare the two weighs. Hey...its like triathlon...you don't try anything new before the "big race"...go with what you know! :)

I get on the scale and closed my eyes. Just tell me when its over. She hands me a small book with a sticker in it with my weight on it and welcomes me back (Ive been here before in years past). I sat down and waited for the meeting to start. I wanted to look at the sticker to see what the outcome was....but you know...it's that feeling in your gut when the teacher is passing out the graded final exams. Did I pass??

I passed....wow did I pass :) To my absolute shock, I lost 6.5 pounds in two weeks. I closed the book then opened it again 4 more times. Is this possible?? Really??

The meeting began and the people were excited, positive and wonderful. The instructor was not the person I was hoping for but she was an absolute delight. Most of the discussion was about getting around Thanksgiving Day and not getting stuffed like the turkey. This year, I have to work at The Living Seas on Thanksgiving Day so the only obstacle I need to avoid during the day is the SPREAD during lunch. If I can make that hurdle, I should be fine.

Yesterday also marked my return to workouts with Hector. Strength training and a 3 mile walk/run woke the resting muscles back up and Im a little sore but it gave me a positive outlook.....

I know every week is not going to show a six pound loss, but its a great start....6.5 pounds down...39.5 pounds to go to my goal...

First weigh in tomorrow

2009-11-22T14:54:00.000-08:00

I think I would rather do a 100 mile bike/10 mile run brick than a weigh in. Seriously. That 4 seconds on the scale is a terrifying place for me. Absolutely terrifying.

It brings back some painful memories. The first time a doctor told my family I was obese...I was 6. My first serious diet of liquids only was at age 12. And of course..the big one...when they couldn't read my weigh at the doctor's office at age 23. I was over 320lbs and their scale simply didn't go that high. A lot of my memories revolve around that number on the scale.

I have had so many people "congratulate" me on my attempt at Ironman. "See how far you went", they would say. " I wouldn't even consider doing that" they would tell me. I appreciate these words so much and their kind positive comments are heartfelt and real. It has helped me get through the last few days...but the bottom line is simple..

I didn't finish...

I didn't finish two things. I didn't get to the finish line and I haven't gotten to my goal weight. My Gastric Bypass Doctor, Dr. Normal Samuels told me to be happy that I was still alive and well. I should be happy that I got to see another birthday...another year of life...and I am...losing roughly 200 pounds is an amazing thing...

But I didn't finish...

The one thing I don't want to make a pattern in my life is to NOT finish what I started. I started this weight loss journey on Dec. 1, 1998. I wrote a will, I gave permission to my husband to cut life support if necessary and I gave letters to each of my family members to read if I didn't make it. I MADE IT. The guy ahead me...DIDN'T. The woman that had the procedure the next day DIDN'T. I owe it to them. I owe it to me...to finish damn it....I need to finish it ALL!!!

My husband says that I let the number on the scale DEFINE me..that I let it determine if I am going to have a good day or a bad day. There is truth to that statement but the bottom line remains...I have left this business undone...I have left two tasks unfinished. It is time to focus...to stop living in the past and focus on the positives of the future.

There is so much ahead of me. There is so much that I can give to others in this struggle if I can just get over this last hurdle. Come girl...you got it in ya. This is the thin girl inside screaming to get out.... You are almost there....just like the last two miles of the marathon. You have come so far. The last two miles are painful...but doable.

Lets see what the number says tomorrow....

The Race List...after Hector did A LOT of trimming

2009-11-21T18:21:00.000-08:00

:) Ok folks...lots of people read my dream race list and sent me emails and comments saying everything from "are you nuts" to..."wow..that's a helluva season"!! I know I know...I went a little overboard but there are so many great races out there with so many cool destinations and SO MUCH FUN...how can you NOT put together a huge list...and then cut it down to what works...so..here's the list...AFTER Hector looked at it and thought I had completely lost my mind...and then cut it down to size!!

2009 Races
Nov 26, 2009 Turkey Trot
Nov 29, 2009 Space Coast Half Marathon

2010 Races
Jan 31, 2010 ING Half Marathon

Feb 28, 2010 Gasparilla Half Marathon

Mar 14, 2010 MIT Miami Triathlon-Olympic-B race

May 8th, 2010 Gulf Coast Triathlon-my A Race

June 7th, 2010 World's Most Beautiful Century Ride-Lake Tahoe

July 17th, 2010 Moss Park Triathlon-Sprint or Olympic

Sept 12, 2010 The Nation's Triathlon-Washington DC-B race

Oct. 4, 2010 Atlantic Coast Triathlon (my other A race) OR Ironman Miami 70.3 still up in the air

Nov. 2010... ..............

You'll notice that there is a big blank at the end of the year...there is a reason for that. I will be at Ironman Arizona and Ironman Florida. What happens at those races is still very up in the air. I guarantee I will be in line at one of them to register for 2011. Just not sure which one!!

So there is my year according to Hector!! So..now what do you think???

The Dream Race List

2009-11-19T17:15:00.000-08:00

Each year, I put together the "dream race list" which Hector, my trainer, proceeds to tear apart
and give me what he thinks I should and can do. So far, this is THE dream list!!

November 2009
26 Nov 2009 Turkey Trot 5k
29 Nov 2009 Space Coast Half Marathon

December 2009
12 Dec 2009 Reindeer Run 5k

January 2010
09 Jan 2010 Disney Half Marathon
10 Jan 2010 Disney Marathon
Yes...for some reason...I signed up for the Goofy Challenge...AGAIN
31 Jan 2010 ING Miami Half Marathon

February 2010
19 Feb 2010 Sara McLarty's Swim Camp-NTC-Clermont
28 Feb 2010 Gasparilla Half Marathon-Tampa

March 2010
05 March 2010 Princess Half Marathon-Disney
14 March 2010 MIT International Distance Triathlon
27 March 2010 Great Clermont Triathlon-Olympic or Sprint

April 2010
10 April 2010 Escape from Fort Desoto Tri-Tampa Bay Area Sprint Distance
11 April 2010 SuperFrog-US Navy Seal-Olympic Tri-Coronado CA
17 April 2010 Swim Miami-Open Water 5k or 10k swim-Miami FL
18 April 2010 Breakaway to Sugarloaf Bike-Clermont

May 2010
08 MAY 2010 GULF COAST TRIATHLON (A race)
23 May 2010 Baldwin Park Triathlon

June 2010
June 7 2010 The World's Most Beautiful Ride-Lake Tahoe-Century Bike
June 26, 2010 Rock n Roll Marathon-Seattle WA

July 2010
17 July 2010 Moss Park Triathlon

August 2010
29 August 2010 Alcatraz Triathlon-San Francisco CA

Sept 2010
05 Sept 2010 Rock n Roll Virginia Beach Half Marathon
12 Sept 2010 The Nation's Triathlon Wash. DC

October 2010
01 Oct 2010 Disney Wine and Dine Half Marathon
17 Oct 2010 Ameliaman Olympic Distance Triathlon or Half Ironman Triathlon
30 Oct 2010 Ironman 70.3 Miami-Run as a Relay or run individually...still not sure..

November 2010
Volunteer at Ironman Florida
Volunteer at Ironman Arizona

This year will be focused on weight loss and the Half Ironman Distance until May and the Gulf Coast Triathlon. After that race, depending on how I do and how much weight I have lost at that point, I will make a determination about the way the rest of the year will go :) Please feel free to give me other ideas about races not listed or comment on the races listed here :)

A Card and a letter from people I don't know...

2009-11-19T12:58:00.001-08:00

Blogging is pretty amazing!! I have had the honor and privilege of exchanging emails with people I have never met. Some ask me about triathlon, others ask me about what it was like to have a gastric bypass before it was approved and how I feel now while others ask me about my eating issues. I love these emails. So many people out in the cyber world who connect with some of the things I write...you guys are amazing folks!!

But what I DIDN'T expect was snail mail...from people I have never met. I have lived in the same place for almost 17 years so its not shocking that someone found my address. I opened my mail today to find a beautiful card from a woman in Idaho...it read:

Melissa...

No matter what they say...no matter what they do....BE YOU! You have inspired me so much in 2 years. I have gone from 300lbs to 125 thanks to a gastric bypass. Last weekend, I ran my first 5k..and I was exhausted. I thought to myself "How in the world can you do what you do...." Even the Half Ironman distance astonishes me. Please don't quit. You have a world of people cheering you on for your success...

Much love from Idaho....Amanda

And in the same mail...a letter...beautifully written on gorgeous paper from a woman in Texas...

Melissa...

You do not know me, my family or my life but you have made a huge impact in the way I think about goals. I read
your blog and I just had to send you something more than email. To me, the written word is so personal and I wanted
to share my thoughts somewhat "in person" with you.

3 years ago, I had a heart attack at 35. Doctors didn't give me any hope. They told me at 35 and 295lbs, things looked bad.
I decided to take a chance and get a gastric band. I followed my doctor's orders to the letter. I watched what I ate and
I started to exercise. I stumbled upon your blog when I searched for information about eating disorders and gastric banding
or bypass and there you were: going through a lot of the things I was experiencing.

I spent the last few weeks watching your blog and praying for your success. I cried when I read you did not achieve this goal that was so important to you but then I was inspired by your determination. You need to write a book.

I hope this letter finds you well and you will continue forward toward your dreams, whatever they may be. Keep writing, keep the positive thoughts and encouragement in your life and I know, without a doubt, that you will achieve all you hope for in your life.

I am now 38, 170lbs and in fairly good shape for the shape I am in. Thank you for helping me through the rough spots of my weight loss and my eating problems. You are an amazing lady.

Susan

And this is a rare moment folks...I am without words....I am speechless. For those that know me personally, they can tell you I always have a comment....here I do not. All I have are tears. Thank you Susan. Thank you Amanda. To anyone else that reads this...thank you. I am overwhelmed.

The Journey...The Climb...The Addiction...The Line...

2009-11-16T18:52:00.000-08:00

"You're an addict! " I heard one girl say to me in my meeting tonight. "You're addicted to food and exercise..." she said to me as if she were the 12 year old bully on the playground that I didn't give the time of day to as a child.

Ahhh the judgemental portion of our human race is so quick to become judge, jury and executioner. I just smiled and said "And you are entitled to your opinion...but I don't have to react to it, believe it or let it effect who I am." The leader of the group saw this person getting a little out of control. Later I was to learn she had a shot at being a collegiate runner...and her addiction destroyed her chances. Eating disorders are tough...they can rob you of your dreams.

You're an addict Melissa. Yup! No kidding. Took me a long time to admit I had a problem with food. The lines like "Oh I just like to eat" or "Its just stress...Ill lose the weight gain when my life calms down" came way to easy to explain my issues...but yeah..she's right. I gotta problem.

Ive had a problem since I was 12. I am now considered a recovering compulsive overeater. I walk the line and sometimes I stumble. As long as you get back up and get back to the good eating habits, its ok. You won't be perfect....but you can be consistent.

So today I started on a very long road of consistent behavior. This is the first honest sincere attempt I have made to get the last 30 to 40 lbs off my frame in several years. I have half heartedly started program to provide some "damage control" to my "stumbling problem" but never before has so much rested on my consistency in eating and weight loss. My husband was right. Just tell Melissa its impossible and watch her do all she can to prove you wrong. Just dangle that goal in front of her and she is like a horse to the carrot. God I want that carrot known as Ironman...I really really do.

I looked at the pictures from Ironman and I cringed. It still hurts a bit to know that that damn line escaped me again. I do feel a difference in me now as compared to last year. Last year the experience almost lead me to giving up the sport all together. This year, my DNF made me more determined.

For some, this goal is easy. Train, race, cross the line. For me, its been a journey like no other....and damn it...Im gonna finish it somehow.

Watching my footing as I climb...and stumble to that weight loss goal....as always..Ill keep you posted.

What we will do for a dream...

2009-11-12T04:15:00.000-08:00

It feels insanely weird to be home...and to wake up at a normal hour and not be headed off to go swim, bike or run. My trainer told me to take about 10 days off and let my mind, emotions and body have a rest. My hubby and I were suppose to go to Paris a few days ago (gosh its fun to be married to an airline pilot...you just go to the airport and see what flight you can get on) but the weather there has been horrible. We decided, instead for a few days in South Florida and a short cruise.

We went shopping yesterday for a few clothes and as I walked in to our favorite mall, I realized that it had been ages since I spent a day to go shopping. Wow, how wonderful it was to have lunch, look around, try on clothes and buy a new outfit. "Welcome back to the real world honey" my husband told me.

The real world is really nice...but I ache a little inside for that soreness in the legs from a long workout or the feeling of that afternoon nap after a long workout on a Saturday morning. As the off season comes on and the holidays arrive, in the back of my mind sits the vision of that finish line. More unfinished business.

I went to my doctor early yesterday and I told him I had had enough. I have GOT to get a grip on my weight and somehow make it through the holidays without putting on 20lbs. He referred me IMMEDIATELY to physician who specializes in obesity weight loss and nutrition. She actually took me that morning (guess its a slow time before "new year's resolutions) and I told her that I have done everything I could to lose weight and about my thyroid issues. I also told her that I was losing hope that I would ever be smaller than this. I don't want to give up on my dream....but losing more weight seems almost as difficult than making the cut offs at Ironman.

She was EXTREMELY kind. She spent 45 minutes with me discussing options. I told her I was suppose to be on vacation now but I am ready to get to work next Monday. I want that sense of hope to return to me. I want that feeling that all is possible. She told me that she would do all she could to help me, monitor me and keep me on track. She did a full panel of bloodwork, gave me an eating program to follow, changed my thyroid medication (again) and made another appointment 7 days after I start and she will see me weekly. She also recommended that I return to OA (Overeater's Annoymous) meetings on a weekly basis and go back to seeing my therapist.

She equated it to racing. She told me that if I spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on a bike, shoes, clothes and other gear to get to the Ironman finish line, why wouldn't I do the same to make me well, healthy and happy. She told me I had come this far, that it was time to complete the job.

One more diet. I get so motivated for one more diet and I usually fall on my face and fail. How do I NOT do that this time? My husband thinks that dangling that Ironman medal before me just might be the thing that finally gets me to my goal weight.

Can I really do this??

The third time is the charm...

2009-11-08T00:14:00.000-08:00

We learn wisdom from failure more than from success; we often discover what will do by finding out what will not do.
- Samuel Smiles

I think one of the hardest things for a person to do is to admit when they have reached a roadblock that they can not cross unless some things are changed. Today, I met that roadblock head on when I did not complete my Ironman.

Some will view me as a failure. Some will tell me I am simply too old to be doing this (Im 46). My parents told me tonight that this was "utterly ridiculous" and a "man's sport" and I had no business doing it. Others saw my attempt as brave and powerful and a move to celebrate being a lighter, healthier person than I was 11 years ago.

I won't lie. It hurt more to have my parents tell me those things than it did for them to remove my chip when I did not make the biking time cut off. When you ride 112 miles, you have plenty of time to think. As I turned into a blustery windy course here in Panama City, i knew the bike course would be a challenge. I did my best. It was not enough.

When failure comes, you must sit back and analyse why. In my belief, you also have to sit back and figure out what you have learned from this and what is my higher power's plan for me?

I learned so much this year. I pushed my body to places I never dreamed possible. I believe I became a more mentally strong individual. So many positives came from this even though I am not an Ironman.

The one thing I know for an absolute fact is that I MUST lose some more weight if I am to attempt Ironman again. People are kinda shocked when i talk about being lighter and my obesity but its kinda like my favorite author, Randy Pausch talking about his cancer before he past away. He would always say "Let me introduce you to the "elephant" in the room" You know everyone is whispering about my cancer, so lets talk about it so you understand where the cancer patient is coming from.

So the compulsive overeating gastric bypass patient KNOWS that most people look at me and go "there is no way that will happen"...and today they were right. Today was not my day. I know now what my limits are and I know what needs to be accomplished to achieve them. I have some work to do and I head into that work unafraid.

Let them talk if they want. Let them laugh if they will. Lots of people laugh at those who put it out there and fail but i refuse to be swayed. The one thing my parents DID raise is a fighter. I plan to get some more work done and come back one more time to attempt this race....but not until 2011. This will give me time to complete those intermediate goals.

The third time is the charm....

Race Day..

2009-11-07T02:06:00.000-08:00

Good morning....its 407am and its time to get it done!! Windy but pretty....I will keep you posted!!! My prayer is in 19 hours I will be logging on and saying that I am an Ironman!!! As always...Ill keep you posted!!! Pray for me folks...now its time to just perform!!!

Like my Daddy says...

2009-11-03T19:27:00.002-08:00

Its time to put up....or shut up...

Lots of talk. Lots of blood, sweat and tears in the last 24 months. Two DNF's and two P.R.'s. Lots and lots of ups and downs...but now it comes down to the simple truth....its time to DO...

That "bank account" Ive been filling with hours and hours of swims, bikes and runs is waiting for one withdrawal on Nov. 7th. I honestly believe with all my heart that I have done everything that this body could do to get prepared for this race. I take comfort in that knowledge. I no longer sit up at night worrying about the race. Its very simple. I either believe in myself and leave ALL OF IT on the course...or I don't.

The pendulum is swinging back to the positive for me. More and more I see myself crossing that finish line with time to spare. I have had a few dreams now of that moment...and the negative thoughts have started to depart my head.

I sat outside on my pool deck the other night and had a long talk with the guy upstairs. I got this calmness over me that felt like I should know that it would all be ok. I guess I have truly put this race into his hands now. Im just going to go out there and put my heart and soul and body into it.

Bags are packed. I just have to load the car in the morning, finish morning boot camp classes and then myself and my training partner, Rick, will be on the road at 930am. Let the adventure begin!! As always, Ill keep you posted!!

My Love...My Rock...My Husband

2009-10-31T14:48:00.000-07:00

This month, on Nov. 16th, my husband and I will celebrate our 24th wedding anniversary. It is hard for me to believe that we have been married that long. It feels like it was yesterday that we met, and the years have flown by.

Im sure, however, my husband would agree that this has been a challenging year. I don't think people take into account how much support an Ironman athlete needs from their family to accomplish this goal. I guess for some, it isn't that difficult but I can tell you that I don't believe I would be where I am right now if it weren't for the support of my husband.

There were times this year where I was too tired to cook or grocery shop (ok...so I don't cook well...but I can make a mean sandwich!!) and he took care of those things. There were times he would ask me to do something and I would simply forget from fatigue. I have missed a lot of fun time with him over these months..and remember...he has done this for TWO years...not just one. We went through the training for Ironman in 2008 and he agreed to help me do this again when I DNF'ed. This has truly been a journey.

I made the promise that, no matter what happens this year, you would not find me in line for registration for 2010. Next year is our 25th anniversary and we plan to spend it doing what we love the most: flying and traveling. For 20 years, I was a travel agent and my love of seeing the world was sparked by parents who have traveled extensively..and have been around the world. Its very important that I reconnect with the the things that my husband and I enjoy together.

He has been the most amazing support crew anyone could hope for. When I feel in love with the Cervelo, he got it for me. When I wanted to go to Panama City on my birthday to train instead of going somewhere exotic, he agreed. He has given up a a lot during these months and it makes me wonder...

Shouldn't they give medals to the supportive family too??

I think he deserves that...and a lot more...

Thank you honey...I wouldn't be headed to this start line..and finish line without you...

The tale of 3 coaches

2009-10-31T08:41:00.000-07:00

As I approach Ironman Florida 2009, it is a time I look back and see how I got to this moment in my life. I didn't get to the point of being able to do 140.6 miles on my own. It took guidance, experience, knowledge, passion, caring and, sometime A LOT of patience to put up with an athlete who didn't come from a talented athletic background. These three guys I credit with where I came from...and where I am headed.

In 2000, I told my friend, Rick Stafford, that I was considering a Danskin triathlon. At that time, I really didn't think it was possible. A 400 yard swim, a 10 mile bike and a 3 mile run seemed simply impossible for someone at 250lbs. Rick saw the triathlon as a great possibility in my life and agreed to train me. After 5 months, I crossed the line of my first triathlon and gained a friend, a training partner and a wonderful caring coach.

Fast forward to 2003 when I had 10 sprint distance triathlons under my belt and I had decided to move up in the world. I found the organization known as Team in Training who helped people train for their first marathon, triathlon or century ride. I decided to go from sprint distance to olympic but knew I couldn't do it by myself. Meanwhile, my godson had been diagnosed with Leukemia and Team in Training was the perfect avenue. My first Olympic Distance Coach was Clint Carbonneau who was incredibly patient and knowledgeable. He believed in the team concept and that no participant was left behind. I was often last in all our training but he was persistent and consistent and helped me complete my first St. Anthony's and Memphis in May Olympic Distance Triathlons.

There were many that believed that anything beyond an Olympic Distance triathlon was simply not an option for a plus size athlete to acheive. I actually had a trainer at one point agree to train me to do a Half Ironman and then turn around a week later and told me it was impossible. I thanked her for her time and moved on but still had the burning desire to complete a Half Ironman. I trained with an online coach for awhile but it just wasn't the same as having someone face to face.

I entered a difficult race in Clermont called Tri America and met my 3rd coach. I was on the course in a HAIL STORM (yes you read that right) and was struggling with some hills. I had already crashed my bike once at this point when I heard this person encouraging me to my left . "Keep your front wheel straight...keep your feet flat...push..pull...you can do this...its just a little farther." And so was my first meeting with Hector Torres. He believed that I could do anything I put my mind to ...and helped me complete not one but 4 half Ironmans.

Hector was there when I DNF'ed my Ironman last year with compassion and an Iron fist. He was NOT going to give me an out. He let me lick my wounds for awhile and then helped me realize my potential. As we sat down this week to discuss the race, he reminded me of how far I have come and that I am stronger now than I have ever been. He told me that this is my race, my day, my dream to realize.

That is all true...but one point remains. If it were not for the belief of these three men and their expertise in the sport, I would have never made it to this point. I thank each of them for what they have done for me and for their experience in this sport. Without them, I would not be where I am. I am blessed beyond measure.

Rick and Hector will be racing Ironman Florida this week. It gives me great comfort knowing that they will be there to cheer me on. Coach Clint will be home watching on the computer as I attempt to make this Ironman dream come true. Thank you gentlemen...you are very very special people and you all mean the world to me!!

1 week from today...

2009-10-31T01:32:00.000-07:00

Its 430am and I can't sleep. I don't start my swim workout this morning until 745am and it was the perfect opportunity to get some extra rest but here I am WIDE AWAKE. I guess my head is a week ahead. One week from right now I will be eating breakfast, getting dressed and getting ready. I know that I will get out of bed and head outside to see the conditions. Praying for calm seas, no wind, no rain and cool temps.

What a long strange trip it has been. I have had well wishes from around the world including people from Canada, Thailand, the UAE and Germany. A friend of mine posted my Youtube video from last year on her blog and told my story and now I have an international cheering squad. I was overwhelmed and humbled. To everyone who has written me via email and Facebook, thank you. You have no idea how much your kind words mean to me.

I have spent my taper looking back at my training and reliving moments. I remember my first 60 mile bike. I came home and thought "If I feel like this after 60...how can I accomplish 112". I remember those run workouts at 430 and 500am because it was just too hot to do them later. I recall the endless laps in the pool...the morning swims at Lucky's Lake and the strength training sessions with Hector. I was almost sad the other morning when I realized that I was attending my final bike trainer session before Ironman. I will miss the Downtown Y gym and the multitudes of bikes, trainers, and people working hard to get to their goal.

Did I just say I would miss that training?? I remember when all I wanted was for it just to taper so I could rest. Ahhh rest...yes...sleep is something I really need. For now, I think I will head back to bed for another hour of much needed sleep.
As always, I will keep you posted!!

The Vision of things to come...

2009-10-29T04:47:00.000-07:00

I have the joy of being on several triathlon websites that provide great information and a sense of community in all things that relate to the sport and specifically Ironman. A person who reads my blog sent me this narrative about my race. He has raced dozens of Ironman triathlons and knew that I am a bit nervous about my race in 8 days. I believe he captures the emotions, pain, joy and passion that is Ironman. Enjoy...
******
Right now you've all entered the taper. Perhaps you've been at this a few months, perhaps you've been at this a few years. For some of you this is your first IM, for others, a long-overdue welcome back to a race that few can match.

You've been following your schedule to the letter. You've been piling on the mileage, piling up the laundry, and getting a set of tan lines that will take until next year to erase. Long rides were followed by long runs, which both were preceded by long swims, all of which were followed by recovery naps that were longer than you slept for any given night during college.

You ran in the dark.
You rode in the rain.
You ran in the heat.
You ran in the cold.

You went out when others stayed home.
You rode the trainer when others pulled the covers over their heads.

You have survived the Darwinian progression that is an Ironman summer, and now the hardest days are behind you. Like a climber in the Tour de France coming over the summit of the penultimate climb on an alpine stage, you've already covered so much ground...there's just one more climb to go. You shift up, you take a drink, you zip up the jersey; the descent lies before you...and it will be a fast one.

Time that used to be filled with never-ending work will now be filling with silent muscles, taking their final, well-earned rest. While this taper is something your body desperately needs, your mind cast off to the background for so very long, will start to speak to you.

It won't be pretty.

It will bring up thoughts of doubt, pain, hunger, thirst, failure, and loss. It will give you reasons why you aren't ready. It will try and make one last stand to stop you, because your brain doesn't know what the body already does. Your body knows the truth:

You are ready.

Your brain won't believe it. It will use the taper to convince you that this is foolish - that there is too much that can go wrong.

You are ready.

Finishing an Ironman is never an accident. It's the result of dedication, focus, hard work, and belief that all the long runs in January, long rides in March, and long swims every damn weekend will be worth it. It comes from getting on the bike, day in, day out. It comes from long, solo runs. From that first long run where you wondered, "How will I ever be ready?" to the last long run where you smiled to yourself with one mile to go...knowing that you'd found the answer.

It is worth it. Now that you're at the taper, you know it will be worth it. The workload becomes less. The body winds up and prepares, and you just need to quiet your worried mind. Not easy, but you can do it.

You are ready.

You will walk into the water with 2500 other wide-open sets of eyes. You will look upon the sea of humanity, and know that you belong. You'll feel the chill of the water crawl into your wetsuit, and shiver like everyone else, but smile because the day you have waited for so VERY long is finally here.

You will tear up in your goggles. Everyone does.

The helicopters will roar overhead.
The splashing will surround you.

You'll stop thinking about Ironman, because you're now racing one.

The swim will be long - it's long for everyone, but you'll make it. You'll watch as the shoreline grows and grows, and soon you'll hear the end. You'll come up the beach and head for the wetsuit strippers. Three people will get that sucker off before you know what happening, then you’ll head for the bike.

The voices, the cowbells, and the curb-to-curb chalk giving you a hero's sendoff can't wipe the smile off your face.

You'll settle down to your race. The crowds will spread out on the road. You'll soon be on your bike, eating your food on your schedule, controlling your Ironman.

You'll start to feel that morning sun turn to afternoon sun. It's warmer now. Maybe it's hot. Maybe you're not feeling so good now. You'll keep riding. You'll keep drinking. You'll keep moving. After all, this is just a long training day with valet parking and catering, right?

You'll put on your game face, fighting the urge to feel down as you ride for what seems like hours. You reach special needs, fuel up, and head out.

By now it'll be hot. You'll be tired. Doubts will fight for your focus. Everyone struggles here. You've been on that bike for a few hours, and stopping would be nice, but you won't - not here. Not today.

You'll grind the false flats to the climb. You'll know you're almost there. You'll fight for every inch of road. The crowd will come back to you here. Let their energy push you. Let them see your eyes. Smile when they cheer for you - your body will get just that little bit lighter.

Grind.
Fight.
Suffer.
Persevere.

You'll plunge down the road, swooping from corner to corner, chaining together the turns, tucking on the straights, letting your legs recover for the run to come - soon! You'll roll back - you'll see people running out. You'll think to yourself, "Wasn't I just here?" The noise
will grow. The chalk dust will hang in the air - you're back, with only 26.2 miles to go. You'll relax a little bit, knowing that even if you get a flat tire or something breaks here, you can run the damn bike into T2.

You'll roll into transition. 100 volunteers will fight for your bike. You'll give it up and not look back. You'll have your bag handed to you, and into the tent you'll go. You'll change. You'll load up your pockets, and open the door to the last long run of your Ironman summer - the one that counts.

You'll take that first step of a thousand...and you'll smile. You'll know that the bike won't let you down now - the race is down to your own two feet. The same crowd that cheered for you in the shadows of the morning will cheer for you in the brilliant sunshine of a summer Sunday. High-five people on the way out. Smile. Enjoy it. This is what you've worked for all year long.

That first mile will feel great. So will the second. By mile 3, you probably won't feel so good.

That's okay. You knew it couldn't all be that easy. You'll settle down just like you did on the bike, and get down to your pace. You'll see the leaders coming back the other way. Some will look great - some won't. You might feel great, you might not. No matter how you feel, don't panic - this is the part of the day where whatever you're feeling, you can be sure it won't last.

You'll keep moving. You'll keep drinking. You'll keep eating. Maybe you'll be right on plan - maybe you won't. If you're ahead of schedule, don't worry - believe. If you're behind, don't panic - roll with it. Everyone comes up with a brilliant race plan for Ironman, and then everyone has to deal with the reality that planning for something like Ironman is like trying to land a man on the moon. By remote control. Blindfolded.

How you react to the changes in your plan will dictate your day. Don't waste energy worrying about things - just do what you have to when you have to, and keep moving. Keep eating. Keep drinking. Just don't sit down - don't EVER sit down.

You'll make it to the halfway point. You'll load up on special needs. Some of what you packed will look good, some won't. Eat what looks good, toss the rest. Keep moving. Start looking for people you know. Cheer for people you don't. You're headed in - they're not. They want to be
where you are, just like you wanted to be when you saw all those fast people headed into town. Share some energy - you'll get it right back.

Run if you can.
Walk if you have to.
Just keep moving.

The miles will drag on. The brilliant sunshine will yawn. You'll be coming up to those aid stations fully alive with people, music, and chicken soup. TAKE THE SOUP. Keep moving.

You'll soon only have a few miles to go. You'll start to believe that you're going to make it. You'll start to imagine how good it's going to feel when you get there. Let those feelings drive you on. When your legs just don't want to move anymore, think about what it's going to be like when someone catches you…and puts a medal over your head... all you have to do is get there.

You'll start to hear the people in town. People you can't see in the twilight will cheer for you. They'll call out your name. Smile and thank them. They were there when you left on the bike, and when you came back, and when you left on the run, and now when you've come back.

You'll enter town. You'll start to realize that the day is almost over. You'll be exhausted, wiped out, barely able to run a 10-minute mile (if you're lucky), but you'll ask yourself, "Where did the whole day go?" You'll be standing on the edge of two feelings - the desire to finally stop, and the desire to take these last moments and make them last as long as possible.

You'll hit mile 25. Your Ironman will have 1.2 miles - just 2KM left in it.

You'll run. You'll find your legs. You'll fly. You won't know how, but you will run. The lights will grow brighter, brighter, and brighter. Soon you'll be able to hear the music again. This time, it'll be for keeps.

Soon they'll see you. Soon, everyone will see you. You'll run towards the lights, between the fences, and into the night sun made just for you.

They'll say your name.
You'll keep running.
Nothing will hurt.

The moment will be yours - for one moment, the entire world will be looking at you and only you.

You'll break the tape at the finish line, 140.6 miles after starting your journey. The flash will go off.

You'll stop. You'll finally stop. Your legs will wobble their last, and suddenly...be capable of nothing more.

Someone will catch you.
You'll lean into them.

It will suddenly hit you.

YOU ARE AN IRONMAN!

You are ready.

"You can choose differently"

2009-10-27T19:25:00.000-07:00

Being someone that has battled morbid obesity, it should not surprise you that I watch the Biggest Loser religiously. I find the people, the stories and the competition inspiring and fascinating. These people come from a world that I understand. It is a place where food can take over as the ruler of all. It is where food is not for nourishment but for comfort, companionship and a way to fill a void.

The person who was voted off tonight was named Abby. She had a story prior to coming to the show that would break your heart. She lost her ENTIRE family: husband, toddler and newborn to a man traveling at over 100 mph. Her world was stolen from her in the blink of an eye and she decided to use food for comfort. Who could blame her. What a horrible and painful loss. I don't think anyone who hasn't been in those shoes could comprehend the pain. She, however, decided to make a change...she decided to live life .... she decided to "choose differently".

Several years ago, I also made that choice. Instead of using food as a drug, I decided to use it as a tool and a partner in reaching a goal. I decided to make peace with the demons that pushed me to the compulsion to eat. I decided to face them all head on and say "no more."

That does not mean that I am perfect. That does not mean that there have not been times that the whispers of my past life have not haunted me and had me return to old behaviors...but living and surviving and recovering from that compulsion is not about being perfect...its about being consistent.

And so is the life and pursuit of a dream known as Ironman. Its not about being perfect. Its about being consistent. Its about seeing the dream that lies before you and going forward in pursuit of that dream. Its not going to be perfection...heck..it won't even be pretty...but it will be the purest form of belief in the world. It will be someone setting aside fear and going for what they think is a worthwhile goal. My husband tells me that simply standing on the start line is a victory in itself.....and in part I agree....but I have made the choice to "choose differently"...I have chosen to think, believe and race with the vision, the passion and the goal to be an Ironman. This is my race. This is my dream. This is my day...

Meet Racer number 94....a future Ironman in 11 days!!

Racing in the crosswalk

2009-10-25T19:51:00.001-07:00

I had a mini brick workout to do today...a 90 min. bike followed by a 90 min. run. A few years ago, this would have been an EPIC workout for me. Now, after months of 5 hour bike rides and 16 mile runs, this seemed basic. My husband was headed off to work today after being home for several days and I wanted to rearrange my workout so it would fall AFTER he left at 11am. We awoke to a coolish and less humid morning so my hubby and I drank coffee, had breakfast and enjoyed the morning.

Since the bike was shorter than usual, I decided to ride a few loops in my neighborhood. I live just 5 minutes from downtown Orlando in an area known as College Park which is known for its beautiful tree lined streets in the heart of an urban landscape. My loop is 8 miles including a street that runs next to our HUGE Florida Hospital complex. As I enjoyed the safety of bike lanes for half the ride loop, the other half along this complex is in traffic. Sunday afternoon traffic volume was low so it made it easy to keep a good speed.

As I made my way down Orange Ave, I saw the crosswalk countdown clock and I couldn't help myself. As the numbers came up, I sprinted for the crosswalk before the red hand would appear. Sometimes the countdown clock would start at 10..others at 14...but each time, I made a point to go fast enough to make that line...that cut off...that moment.

Maybe in my head, I am racing to make the bike cut off or even make the finish line , or the wonderful metaphor for life that that countdown clock represents. We are all racing that countdown clock in some way or another. Everyday is a gift but when I saw those crosswalks over and over again as I did those loops, it kept driving home the fact that you gotta live each day...each hour...each minute.

12 days left until Ironman...

Ive Decided...

2009-10-23T12:17:00.000-07:00

Just two weeks and a few hours away from Ironman...and Ive made a few decisions...

** To be EXCITED instead of afraid

**To be MOTIVATED instead of intimidated

**To CELEBRATE the ability to walk/run miles...unlike years ago where walking blocks was a challenge

**To CELEBRATE that I have raised more than $12,000.00 for cancer research. Of all the excitement surrounding Ironman, this is the part that tickles me the most!

** Above all...Have Fun!! Im not going to be standing on ANY podium or be packing my bags for Kona. I am racing against ME and my watch :)

I could worry about the wind, and the cold water or the cold temperatures but I can't control these things. I can prepare for them. I can show up with the items that will make me comfortable in light of those things but in the end, I will wake up Nov. 7th 2009 and look out the window and, as the legal world says it :govern myself accordingly.

I plan to thank LOTS of volunteers!! I plan to put a grin on my face like Chrissie Wellington. I will try very hard to remember that there will be low spots...but they will pass and things will improve if you give them a little time and a bit of effort.

Just like the analogy from weeks before...Im not trying to be Babe Ruth standing on home plate and calling my shot..but I have decided to Love the game and enjoy every second!!

Carpe Diem

2009-10-21T19:35:00.000-07:00

... Sieze the Day...

I know. This phrase has been used until it's worn and tattered. The motivational speaker set has beaten it's powerful meaning into submission. If, however, you look at the TRUE definition of the statement...you might be more inspired...

interj.
Used as an admonition to seize the pleasures of the moment without concern for the future.

n.
Such an admonition.

[Latin : carpe, seize + diem, day.]

Now that's what my day should be at Ironman. Seizing the PLEASURES OF THE MOMENT. After the months of training and the races I have completed, I understand that you can not look at the ENTIRE race as a whole. It WILL make you nuts. But to live in the moment and enjoy every second...to live the dream in each mile that is accomplished...that is truly a day that is seized.

I have a magnet on my refrigerator that says it all:

What would you attempt if you knew you could not fail??

I am still not completely sure why Ironman became so powerful and important in my life except that I often look at that quote and know that this race should be approached with respect for the course...but the fear must be squelched. Fear is negative. Fear has its purpose but it can swallow you up and leave you empty handed.

I was working at the Living Seas at Epcot yesterday and one my fellow Divemasters asked me...."Don't you get afraid swimming out that far in the ocean?" I then asked him "Don't you get afraid diving 100 feet or more in the ocean with a limited air supply?" It's all the way you approach it in your mind. Yes, 140.6 miles is a daunting task. Yes, 17 hours of perpetual motion is hard to fathom. A swim in the ocean, a bike around rural North Florida and a run in a State Park...reasonable...doable.

Needless to say, the run of the Ironman is my scary place. Im not built like a runner...but in my mind...Im Kenyan!! In my head, I am going to speed through two laps and enjoy the view of a beautiful state park at sunset. I can't think about the pain or watch the clock. I gotta take each mile and make it my focus. If I can do that 26 times...I think I can get that .2.

With about 2 weeks to Ironman, I am running around like a crazy person trying to get things packed and prepared but in my head, I am getting ready to Seize my day. This is my day. Between myself and the guy upstairs, we decide how it will turn out...I have made the decision to be an Ironman

I hope you Seize Your Day...no matter what your goal may be...

Entering Taper Phase...

2009-10-17T15:07:00.001-07:00

This is the time I have been looking forward to for weeks!! Finally!! After a 2:30 hour run tomorrow, I will be in taper...

What is taper you might ask?? It's when your workouts are reduced down to what looks like normal levels. Instead of doing 25 hours of workout a week..you'll be doing 13 to 15. I have been wishing for the phase for months but it does come with some things that can trip you up:

1. OVERDOING IT EVERYWHERE ELSE: The idea of taper is to let the body rest a little bit and recover from the big mileage that it has done over the last couple of weeks. If you take on the task of .. lets say .. cleaning out your attic like I did last year, you probably won't get the recovery that you need. I went nuts last year cleaning my house and getting things ready for a garage sale I planned for after Ironman. This year I really plan to USE TAPER to do just that...recover..rest and get ready for one of the longest days of my life.

2. OVEREATING: Ok...so your body has been use to burning all these calories and now you are reduce the number of calories you are burning by reducing your workouts. What happens? Well, for a triathlete with an eating disorder, it can be a recipe for disaster. Last year, I put on 5 pounds before my Ironman simply from nervous eating. I am conscious of that this year and will be reducing my calories and not stress eating (or at least keeping the stress eating under some control).

3. THINKING TOO MUCH ABOUT WHAT IS TO COME: Oh heck, I already do this..but in taper, its worse. My outlet for race jitters has always been a long bike or a long swim (running is just not fun for me) but with the reduction of hours, the mind starts to play games. I have read a couple of books about the mental game of Endurance racing and I am hoping that it will help me.

4. THE TEMPTATIONS TO TRY SOMETHING NEW FOR THE RACE: I think everyone-from sprint triathletes to marathon runners alike might think the new socks, the new seat on a bike or the new bike shoes might be a better choice and help on race day but you gotta go with what works.

Why am I writing all these things down if I already know them?? To remind myself of the mistakes in my past. I need to learn from them and use them to make this race THE RACE of my life!!

This morning was my final longish bike ride. I awoke to cool temperatures which was a welcomed entrance of fall after 95 degree heat the weekends before. The wind was pretty strong but I almost welcomed being a little chilly as I headed out on the trail today. I was happy and sad in the same moment. This is it. We are so close now.

After my ride, I headed into one of my favorite triathlon stores in Winter Garden called "Tri n Run" (www.trinrun.com). If you live in this area and have not experienced Tammy and Jerry's fine expertise and service, I highly recommend it!! As I entered, I saw several friends who gave me big hugs and one of my favorite Ironman triathlete, Jane, who works at the store. My friend, Leny, introduced me to her friends as an Ironman. I shook my head but Jane nodded yes. Just a few more days Melissa, and you will hear Mike Reilly say " Melissa Daly...You are an Ironman!"

"Oh Jane...I said...from your mouth to God's ears!!"

21 days

2009-10-16T06:07:00.000-07:00

21 days...3 weeks until we take all that I have done in the past 12 months and hit the road in Panama City Beach.

21 days....thats

504 hours

or

30, 240 minutes

or

1, 815, 104 seconds

Why the specific breakdown? Because now time is critical. How I spend these next 3 weeks makes a lot of difference. I am exhausted. I think my body is just saying enough already. I am so ready for taper you have no idea!! My trainer gave me two days off this week because I told him the only thing I wanted to do is sleep.

This weekend should be the final long ride and long run before the race. There are alot of things I need to fine tune this weekend like...making the final decision on what I am going to wear, the final determination of nutrition for the run etc. My mental training is also very important now. I have been having dreams that I am late for the finish line and I don't know how to change what I dream. I am trying very hard to be positive but we all know this is going to be an uphill battle.

When I left Amelia Island, I was in the car with my husband after the race and I started to cry. It was the very FIRST time in my life that DEEP DOWN I felt I could complete Ironman. I walked off that course feeling like I had more gas in the tank if I had to continue (but honestly...I was glad as hell I was headed to an ice bath and a glass of wine). It was a moment I wish I could reach out and capture again.

Taper madness I guess is starting early with me. I remember how I was last year. I went crazy cleaning the house and such but this year it is different. I am really focused on this race. Maybe too focused but I am trying to remind myself that this is a hobby and its suppose to be fun.

The one thing that does bring me a sense of peace is just putting the race in God's hands. I am not outwardly religious...I believe you could call me deeply spiritual. I believe that, in the end, he will decide as long as I put out 110% of me and my effort. I just gotta go out there and put it all on the course. As my husband told me "Go out there honey and give it everything you got...we will be there to sponge up what's left of you". Kind of a gross metaphor...but it works :)

And who are you racing for??

2009-10-13T16:44:00.001-07:00

The power of a memory is a strong force. Christian, my godson, shown above was a huge Star Wars fan. He was only 6 when he was diagnosed with Leukemia. What a hard thing to explain to a six year old but his parents did a good job of letting him know what he was up against. He decided to view cancer as Darth Vader or "the dark side"...and he was the Jedi Knight who would battle and win the fight. He believed in "the force".

This time...the Rebel Legion didn't win...but his bravery to this day inspires me. He died at age 8 with his last words being "I wanna live forever."

And he does. In every person who races for Team in Training. For anyone who works for a cause to eradicate cancer from this world, Christian lives in you. He lives in me and on Nov. 7th-thats the guy for which I am racing.

Christian loved legos. In his hospital room, he would pass the time building Star Wars characters and ships from Legos. They were incredible masterpieces. On Nov. 7th, in my emergency bike kit, Ill carry one more piece of equipment-a green lego with his name on it. This isn't so much a good luck charm as it is a symbol of someone who fought a valiant fight.

I race to celebrate those that live on. My father beat Prostate Cancer and Lung Cancer in the same year. Its been almost 7 years now and he is cancer free. My father in law was another Prostate Cancer survivor-yet another fighter in the fight.

If there is anything that will get me to the line on Nov. 7th, its that face and the faces of my loved ones who have battled and won!!

Livestrong!

Comparing Notes..

2009-10-13T03:56:00.000-07:00

On Tuesday mornings at 5am, I have participated in a bike training session with the Central Florida Tri Club at the Downtown Orlando Y. My trainer, Hector, leads this 60 to 80 minute workout that leaves the team of 40 to 60 triathletes sweaty and breathless. Getting up at 4am is a struggle sometimes, especially on a day I don't have to be at my fitness business. Its an amazing work week workout.

Today was unique, however, as I actually got to chat with some of the other people in the group that are doing Ironman Florida. This team is pretty experienced and we even have members of Team USA in our ranks so for someone like me to be working out with these guys...it can be a little intimidating.

What I found out is...most of them have gone through a lot of the same things I have experienced. I spoke to my friend Kim, who had been out for a week ill. That happened to me early in the season. I spoke to my friend Shannon who's husband is just very tired of all the training-and mine is just ready for all this to be over. I heard about mental meltdowns during the bike, bike trails that were so mentally challenging that some would prefer to sit on a bike trainer for 6 hours instead of doing that trail and suddenly it hit me..

What I have been going through is not unique. Even some of these experienced, talented FAST athletes are in the same boat.

I walked away from this morning's session feeling pretty good about my Ironman journey when I realized that its a struggle for ANYONE who attempts this race. It's good to know that it's not just me in the fight!!

Feeling the Fear and doing it anyway

2009-10-09T10:11:00.000-07:00

28 days. I remember when it was 200+ days to Ironman and now we are down to less than a month. Just thinking about the race brings the butterflies to my stomach and makes my heart beat a little faster. The swim start, the rush to make the cut offs are all very real to me now. The fear is very real as well.

But I have learned in the past couple of years that you feel the fear and move forward anyway. I have stood at the start line of many a race with this overwhelming fear to walk away but have pressed forward and achieved my goals.

Ironman presents a lot of time hurdles for me. Instead of looking at the all as one big race, I have sliced them down into section. Each section that is achieved will be a victory for me. Making the swim cut off last year was huge and I have even saved the pictures from the moment I came out of the swim with the biggest smile. I looked at the photographer (who is a friend of mine) and put up the 1 finger...and said "1 down..2 to go".

Next will be making all the bike cut offs. At Ironman Florida, there are some additional cut offs beyond the 515pm deadline so to make each of those will be a victory. Ultimately, I want to be in way before the 515pm cutoff.

And finally...the magical number is 16:59:59. That how long I have before I turn into a pumpkin and would no longer be consider an Ironman. I saw a t shirt recently that said "16:59:59-The time it takes to reach the promise land".

I wish I could calm this fear but right now its huge. I am doing a century ride Saturday and a half marathon Sunday. This should be some of the final major training before Nov. 7th. Never in my life have I wanted to overcome fear and completing a journey more than this!!!

The most beautiful words in the English Language: Personal Record

2009-10-05T19:00:00.001-07:00

"One part at a time, one day at a time, we can accomplish any goal we set for ourselves."
Karen Casey, from Achievement of a Life Goal

Saturday, October 3rd, 2009-The day I met my husband 28 years ago ended up being the day I had been waiting and hoping for. Today was my breakthrough day.

I awoke from a great night's sleep. I stretched and took inventory of the aches and pains that training for an Ironman can leave. I felt very few. A smile crossed my lips. See, that is already a good sign.

My hubby slumbered as I prepared my oatmeal, 1/2 of banana and coffee. I retrieved the body glide out of my cosmetic bag (and it was at this moment I realized that I am truly a triathlon junkie if I carry body glide in my cosmetic case), and started hitting the important body parts. With those important tasks completed, I was up, dressed and on my way out the door with Rick in tow. It was 525am

We grabbed the car and headed to the venue. I was concerned that parking would be a problem but i dropped Rick off with the tri bags as close as I could then found a spot just 2 blocks away. I walked back to transition and my brain was in overdrive. Over and over in my head I was saying "Today is your day...you're strong, you're trained, you're ready, it's YOUR race". Over and over.

I set my transition area, talked to my "bike rack neighbor" who's last name was the same as mine and then jumped into the short port a potty line. Had a wonderful conversation with the nicest triathletes as we discussed the great conditions.

The water was warm AND wetsuit legal but as before, I wore my Blue Seventy Swim Skin. I am the most comfortable in this suit and don't feel as constricted.

I was a little nervous as my wave was the LAST to leave the beach at 727am. I kept telling myself not to feel guilty that you may be the last out on the bike course. I paid for the priviledge to be here so if I need every hour the course is open, so be it.

The gun went off...and I hit the water. It felt like home. I felt like I was in the Living Seas at Epcot about to go for a scuba dive. It was warm, welcoming and from what I could see-jelly fish free. After last year's fun with jelly fish stings, I was absolutely THRILLED to see their departure.

My stroke was steady and strong but I didn't think it was too fast. Part of my race plan was to swim slightly right of the course as I knew from last year that the current would push to the left. As we made our way towards the first buoy, I knew I had made the right decision. By the time I made the turn, I was dead on course.

I also switched to photochromatic lenses in my swim goggles. This was a great choice.They were perfect into the sun as I swam the long side of the course . As I made the final turn buoy and headed towards the beach, I looked at my watch. Two minutes ahead of my best ocean time...hmmmm...this is proceeding well!!

I exited the water with my best ocean swim time taking 3 minutes off my previous ocean swim. I headed up the beach and to the chip mat, around the corner to find my NEIGHBOR was the photographer at the swim exit!! What a nice surprise!!

I made it into transition but was fumbling with my swim skin. Somehow I got my lease tangled and had to ask an official for help. After untangling the mess, I made a fast 2:30 T1..and off I went on the bike.

The course was flat and fast..except for one LARGE causeway and one small bridge. I realized that I was the last out of the water but remember, Im not racing against others, Im racing against that watch on my wrist. Before I could think twice, I heard the sound of the sheriff's motorcycle behind me. My goal was to pass SOMEONE...so i didn't have him behind me.

After about 7 miles, the Causeway that connects Amelia Island stood ahead of me like a school kid on the playground egging me on. "Come on Melissa...ya got the guts??" Well..today..I had the guts. I dropped a couple of gears and made my way up the bridge. I was AMAZED at how easy it felt compared to a year ago. At the top, I overtook another cyclist and hit 32 mph on the other side. After my burst of mass plus inertia heading downhill, she caught me and past me again.

It wasn't until about mile 20 that I made a pass that would stick and dropped the escorting police motorcycle. I could feel my speed increasing as I made my way on towards mile 40..then 45...then 50. I checked my watch. I was going to beat my best bike time by 5 minutes if I could just keep consistent. The final miles were into the wind but I dismounted and crossed the chip mate with that new bike P.R.

Back into transition, I checked to make sure Rick's bike was in and his running gear was gone. Everything looked good as I put on my running shoes and headed out for an afternoon stroll. My goal during this race was to see if I could be fast enough to walk the half marathon and still beat my time. This experiment was very valuable because I learned that I will still need to run a bit to keep the timing consistent.

The first 3.5 miles of this half marathon were in the direct sun and it was HOT! You gotta love the volunteers at the aid stations however, as they had cold wet towels for our necks and cold water. They stayed out on the course even until I came by.

By mile 8, I was feeling fantastic. A little tired but no pains I couldn't handle. The course was a twisty curvy route through a beautifully shaded state park (after mile 3.5) but we left the park before mile 9 and were given the lovely gift of a bridge to cross. For some reason, mentally this was hard because you could not SEE the 9 mile sign until after you crossed the bridge and headed into a turnaround. It was one of the low moments of my race.

At this point I had two runners behind me and I knew that I would not finish last. As I approached the exit of the park with less than one mile to go, my beloved husband stood and screamed "Cutie....you're doing awesome...almost there cutie...almost there!!" The tears welled up in my eyes as I looked down one more time at my watch. A P.R. by 11 minutes. Could this really be possible ? I know Im one of the final finishers but I don't care. Today my race was against myself and the clock...and today...I won.

I crossed a finish line that was almost deserted to a bit of fanfare and the loving arms of my husband. I was so thrilled that i was overwhelmed with joy. The race that had haunted me for a year was now in the "win" column and will always be remembered as a PR.

I returned back to the hotel with my husband's help. My training partner, Rick, had also set a P.R. on this course. His girlfriend, Lisa, took great care of us giving us a rub down and helping with ice baths.

I sat on the balcony that night and stared out at the ocean that I had faced with a bit of fear a few hours early. I thanked God for his grace and the ability he gave me during those 8 hours on the course. You did it girl...I told myself. You finished this. You CAN DO THIS....Ironman is within reach.

The power of a dream...and the bumble bee

2009-10-01T13:03:00.000-07:00

If it were not for dreams...what would we have?? Honestly!! I have absolutely no desire to float through life with no vision, no passion and no GOAL. Ok...so Ive gone a little nuts over Ironman. I freely admit that I am totally obsessed with this goal but I also believe that Ironman would be impossible even for the finest of athletes without that burn in your gut...that desire to achieve that finish...no matter if it's breaking the women's record like Chrissie Wellington or crossing the line before the clock strikes midnight.

But before this Ironman dream, there is the Half Ironman that looms just 2 1/2 days away. I felt differently than last year as I step on the treadmill for my running workout with Hector today. We went through each part of the race. We went over nutrition. We went through step by step the goals I am looking to accomplish. "You're more ready for this race than any other race you have faced" Hector told me. Half me REALLY wants to believe him. The other half of me recognizes that he is one helluva cheerleader.

Belief is key. Belief is what sustains you when the times get tough. When the legs burn and one more step just doesn't seem possible, that's the moment that all you have left is hope and belief!! I really have to knock the negative out of my head and just keep the good!!

I have gained a new nickname lately from my best friend, Rick. He calls me Bumble Bee. Wanna know why?

According to 20th century folklore, the laws of aerodynamics prove that the bumblebee should be incapable of flight, as it does not have the capacity (in terms of wing size or beats per second) to achieve flight with the degree of wing loading necessary. Not being aware of scientists 'proving' it cannot fly, the bumblebee succeeds under "the power of its own ignorance"

The general triathlon population might look at me and think "no way!" but I have other plans. I have two planned flights: Atlantic Coast Triathlon ... and Ironman Florida.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Getting Ready for that Breakthrough

2009-09-29T08:36:00.000-07:00

“Hope is not a dream but a way of making dreams become reality.

This is it. I can feel it in my bones. This IS my breakthrough race.

There, I said it. Like Babe Ruth calling his shot at bat, I am throwing down the gauntlet. This is MY DAY!

See, it's my day because Im going to celebrate a lot of different things. A few days ago, I got word that an old friend of mine died of a pulmonary embolism. She was a Dean at a local school and was active in her church. She had so much going for her but life..and death are strange things. In the blink of an eye, she was gone. This person celebrated life every day she was here

I plan to celebrate the fact that I CAN race triathlon. 11 years ago I was resorting to sitting down every few feet when I walked. Today, 70.3 miles under my own power. THAT'S SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE!!

So no matter what they day brings: Wind, Rain, Jellyfish (last year I was stung at the race and had to withdraw), Current, Punctures, Cramping Muscles Etc....it's a day to celebrate!! With a few blessings from above...Ill finish this one!!

"You got all day...just don't make dinner reservations"

2009-09-27T17:37:00.000-07:00

"You got all day...just don't make dinner plans...Im not..." -IronBob

And it is comments like this that remind me WHY I keep this blog!! I get so focused on the elements of this race that I sometimes forget ... IT'S SUPPOSE TO BE FUN DAMN IT!!!

You got all day. Thats right IronBob. I paid for 17 hours of catered fun and excitement and I plan to use all of it but one minute. Ahhh the food...the drink...the scenery...the pageantry that IS Ironman. It's all so....well....EPIC!! Love that word. It just seems to pair with Ironman like peas and carrots!

Pictured above is my bulletin board in my home office. In the past, if there was a goal or an item I wanted, I would put a picture of it on my bulletin board until I got that goal or item. As you can tell from the Ironman Florida sticker, this goal has been around a few years. People told me to envision the finish line...so there it is...from an ATHLETE'S PERSPECTIVE. That is what you see as you run down the chute. Gosh I hope I get to see that view for real!!

I remember the Disney Marathon this year. That race ends in the Epcot Parking Lot and ironically the finish line sits on my cast parking area. Where I park my car every week to go to work is where I would finish one of the most difficult challenges I had undertaken at that point. I remember walking out to the lot one night after work and standing in the chute. I closed my eyes and I could hear people cheering. I could see the clock illuminated. I could see myself running across that line. I could even see my friend, Eddie, who works for ASI Photo taking my picture. It was so real to me. Four days later, it was real. I crossed that line as a storm was looming overhead. I was one of the final finishers. I made the cut off by seconds. I ran in with some of my favorite Team in Training Coaches. To me...it was indeed...Epic.

You got all day Melissa. Can't you see it..?? The swim is smooth and beautiful. The bike is windless and fast (and in my world its all about the bike). The run is partially in the dark but it's cool and draped in 11 years of Ironman Florida history. The finish line is...well...its an Ironman finish...

Just 39 more days...

The Crab Pot Theory

2009-09-27T04:56:00.000-07:00

I haven't written here for awhile. Several reasons contribute to this lack of words on my part. I had a person that I do not know come up to me during a workout at the local Y and tell me "your blog is a downer...you should consider some help." At first I thought she was kidding..then I realized she was serious...and...well...here I am.

We all know that negative thinking can eat you up inside. We also know that there are a lot of people who will bring you down because they are down themselves. I believe its called the "crab pot theory". If one crab is about to make it out of the pot,the rest of the crabs will pull him right back down. Two things are very clear to me: I do not wish to be the crab that is pulled back AND I don't want to do the pulling.

I have had a series of bad workouts. I have had technical difficulties, illness, no injuries (thank you God), GI issues (this weekend) and the like. I could sit here and write about all that but does it really help anymore to go over the WOES of triathlon training. Ironman is tough. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.

So this "crab" is tired of being CRABBY. There is a breakthrough on the horizon. There are moments that I believe that the crabs of this world want to pull you back but I refused to be "boiled" and served up with drawn butter. My desire is to develop that focus, that drive, that inner spirit that will get me to everything I can to do in my life. How do you find that?? How do you develop it?? This applies to more than just Ironman...this applies to all the goals I have in my life.

Every time I get on the bike, I DO see that my focus is sharpening. I go to my happy place. I envision that my legs are powering the projector that shows me the amazing moments of my life. The faster I pedal, the more I get to see. Pedal slower, and I don't get to see the happy times in focus. Visualization is very powerful for me. The less I think that I am traveling 112 miles on a bike seat or running 26 miles on my feet, the better I perform.

Am I the only one that uses this to get through a long race? If I open the door to negative thinking (like: my foot hurts, my stomach is upset, etc), I have to shut down those thoughts and go to something else in my mind. Once those negative thoughts take over, my performance dies. I have even gone so far to envision a HUGE dry eraser that erases the bad thoughts from my brain. Welcome to the strange world of Melissa's head.

As we get closer to Ironman, I want to develop more and more ways to deal with adversity during the race. I want to perfect the skill of staying calm under pressure and addressing issues as they arise. If you have any suggestions, Im all ears.

Now...for some reason...I have a terrible craving for seafood.... :) :) :)

The inspiration of Blogland

2009-09-20T04:18:00.000-07:00

Greetings from the land of blood, sweat, tears, triumph and tribulation. Blogland includes all these things and more. I consider my blog "cheap therapy" but it wasn't until I came down with the this terrible cold that has sidelined me for a few days that I have fully appreciated blogland.

The blogs I have tripped over in my journey through cyberspace have a range of emotion. I have giggled. I have cried. I have been inspired. I have been pumped up just by reading their words. To those that follow me...don't worry...Im following you...and all of you inspire me.

I have one friend who just can't remember her blogspot name and password...so when she reads mine..she sends me a message on beginnertriathlete.com. I got a slap on the wrist and a sweet but stern talking to for using a bike I hadn't ridden in three years. In one recent blog, I had a woman email me and tell me I was her inspiration. She was large and "in charge" but never thought she could do a triathlon. She completed her first sprint a few weeks ago and now she's a junkie. Wow!! Blogland is an amazing place.

In these days that have not included training, I have read and read and read. Books, blogs and emails. I had the pleasure during The Nation's Triathlon to meet Brian Boyle aka IronHeart (check out his story at : http://brianboyle.wordpress.com/) Even more inspiration from a man who met death head on and decided to use Ironman to celebrate life.

With just 49 days until Ironman, maybe this is God's way of getting my head on straight. You can learn so much from so many here in Blogland....so to TriMommy, Ryan who needs supervision, Coach Beth, IronMissy, IronBob (Uncle Bob), RBR, the Athena Diaries, NZ Tri Chick and dozens more...thank you for your wisdom.

A day to recharge

2009-09-19T05:45:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you just need a day off...or a couple. After a chat with Hector, he gave me a day to recoup and relax a bit. Today I am doing some fun things : putting new plants in my yard, doing a little clothes shopping and getting my nails redone. I think mentally, I just needed the day.

Tomorrow, I am going to do my long run. I woke up this morning and felt just so tired and yucky. My legs continue to ache from the one workout Hector and I did and he determined I am just worn out from the traveling, working and training.

Im very excited about my day. I haven't had a Saturday like this in a long time!! Ill even upload some photos of my flowers when Im done...

Its the little things in life that can make you happy. Triathlon is a hobby and its not all suppose to be serious! Its suppose to be fun!! I think I just need a day to refocus on that fact.

Don't give up on me friends...I haven't fallen into a pity of despair!! Just a little tired...but getting ready for the challenges ahead!

"Snap out of it"

2009-09-17T14:27:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite movies is "Moonstruck" with Nicolas Cage and Cher. A favorite scene in the movie is Cher slapping Cage across the face and yelling "Snap out of it".

That's kinda what I needed this week.

I got a case of the blahs. This usually happens after the build up for a significant race. Once the race is over, you're bummed. This thing you have been looking forward to has past and you miss the building excitement prior to the event. I was VERY excited about doing The Nation's Triathlon because of the beautiful venue and the significance of racing in our Nation's Capital. Call me old fashioned, but I am very patriotic!

Now that I look back at the race, I had fun with my teammates even if I did not perform to the best of my ability. Even professionals have bad days but this race was beautiful and soul stirring. How many times in your life can you honestly say that you shut down the city of Washington and had the roads to yourself. Flying on a bike down a tree lined parkway with the capitol looming in the background is an unbelievable experience.

I believe the other reason I am struggling after my return from Washington is that I am battling off a cold. I lost my voice in D.C. and I thought it was because I screamed and yelled so much. Over the last few days, I have been feeling yucky. NO fever or stuff like that so I don't think its the flu...just a cold in my nose!!

I worked out with Hector yesterday. A 90 minute run that was epic for that simple reason...it was 90 minutes of running with only 3 break minutes. I know that sound so novice to most but for me its huge. Running is just not my strong suit but the longer I can run the marathon...the better chance I have at finishing in under 17 hours.

My legs ache a bit. This weekend includes a huge run of 18 miles so my workouts this week have been very short. I have slept a lot trying to battle off this cold. I just feel like I am in a weird place right now just a few weeks from my Half and Full Ironman.

I was driving back from the airport tonight as I dropped off my husband and the sky above the highway was illuminated with light filtering through the clouds. It was breathtaking and this is when I knew I really needed to just "snap out of it". Life is so good and this is small stuff. I am so blessed with ability. I need to go out and show the world that this is possible.

The Nation's Triathlon

2009-09-16T05:17:00.000-07:00

Finally! A Race!! There are quite a few triathletes who will train all year for one race. There are others, like me, who would race every weekend if time and finances would allow. It has been since May since I have been in a race and I really have looked forward to this one.

The Nation's Triathlon is one of the largest triathlons in the US. With 6000 participants signed up, I arrived in Washington to find a transition area that looked like the "south forty". Just to give you an idea, my bike was at the end of row 38...and there were at least 42 rows in transition. This transition area was in the West Potomac Park and stretched 3 city blocks.

I traveled to the race with the Central Florida Chapter of Team in Training. 11 athletes total on our team with many newbies doing their first ever triathlon. I was so proud of them. All finished. All did well. All followed the rules and were not like SOME triathletes that did stupid things like ride in the middle of the road three abreast, swim the wrong direction on the course (yes, I saw this over the weekend), and ask if they really needed nutrition on a 26 mile bike course. Our team was sharp and well trained. I tip my hat to Coach Clint Carbonneau-an Ironman triathlete who coached his athletes to act like this was their 50th triathlon instead of their first.

For me, it was my 49th outing on a tri course. I went to Washington with the visions of a PR dancing in my head. The weather was cool and perfect. Since I had to ship a bike, I decided to keep the Cervelo at home and ship my road bike. This was a major error on my part as my bike was almost 20 minutes slower than St. Anthony's. The course was also hillier than I expected.

As I approached a hairpin turn and proceeded to climb uphill back towards our nation's capitol, I made a stupid move. I came out of my clip on the left hand side. When I went to clip back in, I got the pedal caught behind my foot and pulled my shoe and sock almost completely off. In the process of untangling the mess, the pedal scraped most of the skin off the back of my heel. At first I didn't feel it but then...sweat got to the wound and OH MY...I definitely could feel it.

At transition, I assessed the damage. I didn't think it was a big deal so I continued. By mile 3 of the run, I couldn't get the stupid injury to stop bleeding. I ran into a rest room and stuffed toliet paper in my shoe. By mile 4, I had gone to a walk because I started to think I had really done something bad that might require stitches.

I finished the race and I as I approached the finish line, I saw my entire team waiting for me. Ever single one had not left to go to the comfort of their hotel but had waited for me. Tears welled up in my eyes. I was touched and embarassed. Here is the "future Ironman" limping to the finish in an Olympic race. They ran with me as far as they could and then I crossed.

I finished. I PR'ed the swim. I struggled through the bike and limped through the run. Is this REALLY an Ironman in training doing this??

I celebrated with my teammates but deep down, I started doubting my abilities. I shipped a bike to Washington I had not ridden in 3 years. I felt like a whole new set of muscle groups were at work during the bike and I had no power at all. I couldn't get into aero on this road bike because the geometry was so different than my Cervelo. I let one little injury play with my head as I was concerned that I might do damage if I pushed it.

So many excuses...so little time left to Ironman. I have had a little pity party since I have been home but now I need to SNAP OUT OF IT!! Not ever race is going to be perfect. Not ever attempt is going to go well. I really need to learn how to overcome issues on the course and push past them. I could have done so much better at this race.

To my team....congrats. You guys kicked some SERIOUS asphalt. Thank you for waiting for me...you guys are just amazing!!

Onward to the Atlantic Coast Triathlon at Amelia Island-a Half Ironman on October 3rd. I am going to right all the wrongs on that day!!

The Bucket List

2009-09-05T22:54:00.000-07:00

Why Ironman has become an emotional journey for me is a mystery. For most, this is a physical challenge with which they possess great talent to complete and acheive. I am not blessed in that department, I am sad to admit. It seems I must work harder than most to gain the goals I set before myself.

Now don't think Im gonna sit here and whine about my lack of ability. Although it frustrates me at times, my lack of talent in the area of triathlon makes it more appealing. I know that work and time put in will pay off in the end. I know a few people that can just simply show up for the event and complete it. Others will train extremely hard and gain a magical Kona slot and be part of Ironman history while there are many like me who just wish to hear the six worded sentence once in their lives at the finish line...."Melissa Daly..you are an Ironman" would be my early Christmas present.

This is a desire that can not be purchased. This is a gift that can not be given to me by anyone but myself. The more I train and the more I ponder this journey, I realize that I have to make the decision if I am worthy of this gift. Too many times in my life, I have considered myself unworthy of an acheviement and have fallen short. The use of addiction to food is a perfect example of this. For years, I thought myself unworthy of a healthy body. It has taken almost 11 years now to realize, I am a good person that valid enough for this gift.

After a relaxing and glorious day off with my husband and friends here in Panama City, I made the realization it is one of the first rest days that I fully enjoyed without guilt. I found myself worthy of the rest. I have pushed hard this week and as we approach the 60 day mark prior to the race, I will want to take the last month and put in as much training as possible.

I was flipping through channels tonight and came upon the movie, The Bucket List. I have always wanted to watch this movie but never got around to it. I caught the pivital last few minutes of the movie that were overflowing with emotion. In the movie, two men meet in the hospital where they both find out they are battling terminal cancer. One gentleman makes a list of things he would like to acheive before he dies and they decide to band together to accomplish this list before they "kick the bucket".

I was overwhelmed with emotion as I watched the end of this movie. I don't believe it was simply watching someone at the end of their life that plucked my heart strings but the passion in which they wanted to acheive each goal on their list. The movie touched a cord. It touched on the passion that has become Ironman.

I walked outside the balcony of our condo and looked out over the water and then down on the hundreds of people still enjoying the sand and surf as the sun slipped into the sea. I cried...alot. I guess the emotion of the movie reminded me that Ironman is on the top of my bucket list and I am very scared of failure. What if I don't finish this AGAIN? Thank you God I am not battling cancer and I am healthy enough to regroup and try for it again...but oh God...mentally...could I possibly endure another year of training for this???

The power of positive thinking is a strong piece of armorment I am trying every day to put into my arsonal. I am trying every day to invision the complettion of this goal. In my mind, I go through each step of the race. I SEE myself accomplishing this goal and imprinting that "program" or that "movie" on my brain. This technique has worked for many professional athlete to the point some have said that once they reached a point in the race where they made their move, they had chills of "dejavu" from the feeling of having been to this place before. I see this as training that is just as important as the swim, bike, run or the nutrition of the race.

My Bucket List is a long one that includes everything from learning how to fly to seeing the Great Barrier Reef...but for now...the one item on top of that list that needs to be marked off in 61 days is Ironman....

Training for the not so perfect day...

2009-09-03T19:12:00.000-07:00

I woke up this morning and still no diagnosis on my father in law. As I drank my coffee before dawn, I tried to decide what the best course of action would be. Do I go out on this long bike workout and risk being far from the condo if I need to get packed and head north ... Or...do I got for a shorter workout and stay close in. When in doubt, consult your trainer.

Hector gave the word: a 2 hour bike and a 40 minute run. I finished my coffee, got my gear together, finished some email business and off I went at a late 830am. It actualy felt weird to leave so late from the beach.

I decided that two hours on the bike would take me about 15 to 18 miles out on the Ironman Florida bike course. This takes you along Front Beach Road (with beautiful views of the water) then up Highway 79 which is a 4 lane highway with a bike lane and to a small bridge. I figured I would get two good climbs (up and back) over this little causeway and head back for a nice two hour bike excursion. The air was a little warmer than the day before and pretty humid but all and all...a pretty good day for a bike workout.

The wind was in my face. No surprise. It is relentless here in Panama City. There might not be hills on this course but be prepared to crank your way against mother nature. People look at me funny as the see the not so fast girl putting on an aero helmet for a race like this. Yes, it supposedly gives you a little more speed but I like it because its quieter against the wind. I can actually hear myself sing and hum with my aero helmet on. Without it, all I hear is that stupid wind.

I made the turn on to Highway 79 and settled in for 6 miles of straight highway. About 3 miles down, my bike just didnt' feel right ...and then...like a shotgun in the early morning....BAM....my back tire blew.....

Ahhhhh man!! (Ok..thats not REALLY what I said...but you get the idea). I unclipped as I slowed to a halt. I was just at the bridge as I felt my bike wobble. I took a look at the tire and it was pretty easy to find the problem. A 2 inch roofing nail had found its way into my bike wheel just barely missing the rim.

This sucks. If you're a cyclist you know: Changing a tire on a major highway is uncomfortable and a little scary. Trucks and cars are racing by at top speed while you try to keep your composure. I pulled out the emergency kit and started the process of getting my beautiful machine back in running order.

As I pulled out the nail and pulled off the tire, I made a very problematic discovery. I didn't have the right tube for this wheel. I have race wheels on this bike which require a valve extension. I searched my emergency bag....no extention. Ok...now Im really pissed. I can't even change this here.

I resorted to the best piece of emergency equipment every cyclist should carry: a cell phone. Usuallly, I have friends staying with me that will come and pick me up. Not this time. Im in Panama City by myself until tomorrow...sooo...Yellow Cab was my next call.

In 20 minutes, I was safe in a cab headed back to the condo with my baby bike in the back seat (yes...I am that short...she acutally fits in the backseat of a cab). The cabbie laughed that I was not the first cyclist he had picked up along Highway 79 with a bad flat. Apparently, this road leads to the city dump where alot of the construction companies take debris. The nails and such fall off the trucks and end up on the side of the road...in perfect placement for the unsuspecting cyclist.

I took out my emergency $20.00 that was in my bike bag, paid the cabbie and went back up to my room. I was mad. This was a lesson learned but I was not going to let it finish my day.

I went to my tri bag and sure enough, there was the RIGHT tube WITH the valve extension. I pulled the rubber off the wheel and proceeded to fix the flat. I had just had my bike serviced so by the time I got the back wheel back on, I was covered in bike grease. Ok...so Im not the most proficent at changing tires but I did get it done.

After a good hand washing to remove the grease, back went on my bike shoes and I took her out to see if i actually had fixed the tire correctly. I road around the parking lot for a few laps then out on Thomas Drive. When it appeared that the flat was completely fixed, I headed out again to finish my workout.

As I rode, I had this sense of accomplishment. Alot of people might have called it a day at that point...but honestly..the problem could be fixed...I fixed it..move on. I think that this is the correct mind set for Ironman. You can't expect a perfect day...you have to take the problem...solve it..and move forward...

I finished my two hour bike (well..it was a few minutes shorter than it should have been) followed by a recovery run. To celebrate, I had a wonderful massage. '

My father in law was diagnosed with a severe kidney infection and is being treated with antibiotics. He will go home tomorrow. With that knowledge, I can feel comfortable heading out for 100 miles. It should be an awesome ride...but if its not...I am now armed with a little more knowledge....

The work you put in today....

2009-09-03T06:41:00.000-07:00

Wednesday morning brought possibilities as I awoke without an alarm at 6am. It was just becoming light over the beach here in Panama City....what a beautiful morning.

As much as I wanted to do the long bike today, the need to stay close to the condo because of my father in law's condition requires a change in the workout schedule. Instead of the ride, Ill do one lap of the run course. This is actually good because I haven't done this course since the Gulf Coast Triathlon in May of this year.

I got suited up, a 5 bottle fuel belt filled, gels tucked away and off I went. As I left the condo, I went down to where I know the exit of transition for the run will be. I hit my watch and my gps and was on my way. The weather felt cool and overcast...a perfect day for running.

I wanted to run the exact course of the Ironman but there are alot of twists and turns to this course. I didn't want to carry a map because i would be fumbling with it in and out of my pocket. The only thing I could think of was to write the route on the palm of my hand. I listed all the streets and if it were a left or right turn. I swear, it looked like I was going to be cheating on an Algebra exam.

Mile 1 to 6 felt wonderful. The cool air, the lack of full sun was a welcomed change from the heat and humidity that has gripped Orlando for several months. It has been so warm that I have been running at 500am in the dark. Running in the dark is good practice for what is to come.

As I approached the State Park where the course does a loop and a turnaround, I paid at the gate ($2.00 for those walking in), the sun came out in full force. It was as if someone turn off my energy reserves. I swear I wilt in the sun when I run. I pushed a little harder...but by the time I reached mile 8, I was down to a walk.

Hector had told me that if I ran into difficult, to call him and we would talk. I pulled my phone from my fuel belt and dialed. I figured I would get his voicemail, but within seconds he picked up the phone.

"Where are you and are you ok??" He asked. No hello. I could hear the concern in his voice.

I explained my dilema. How do I deal with this?? Is this really physical or is it just my mind not wanting to continue? He told me to move my a$$. I told him I needed a little more advice than that.

And then..he gave me some great advice. "Melissa..you are creating your future right now. The work you do today is your reality 30 days from now. The work you put in today will show in 4 weeks and eventually in 9 weeks on race day. So how do you see yourself on that day...walking...running...finishing??? You decide. Its up to you!!"

I agreed...and through some tears, I picked it up. From mile 8 to 11, I was refocused and recharged. Its amazing how the brain plays with your physical abilities. Your mental ability is as important in an endurance event as your physical ability. Its getting over these barriers that will make all the difference.

I stopped at a convenience store at mile 11 to grab one more bottle of gatorade. I was going through fluids like crazy. The man behind the counter was so amusing. He asked me if I was training for that "really long race thing they do here in the winter time". I said "If you mean the Ironman...then yes I am.". He then informed me that he thought that the people that ran Ironman were all aliens because there is NO WAY ANY HUMAN could possibly do all that in one day. "Don't get me wrong " he said, "Ill be out there with my six pack of beer toasting all of you as you make your way through the dark...but ya'll are nuts and definitely not human."

I guess Im looking forward to becoming part of the Alien Community.....

I complete the 13.1 miles...and Im embarassed to tell you how long it took. Lets just say...it would get me to the finish line with about 5 minutes to spare...

Faster...faster...faster....I need to get faster....

A new "view" in a familar place....

2009-09-01T19:10:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to the land of Ironman....Welcome back to the sand, surf and beauty that is Panama City Beach.

I arrived at 2pm after surviving a dreadful two hour storm heading into town. As I drove in, a large flashing sign greeted my arrival with words I really didn't want to see:

S. Camp Flower Road Closed 9/2/09

DAMN IT! Of all the roads that would have construction TOMORROW...it has to be the road that I NEED TO RIDE ON!! Camp Flower Road is mile 60 of the bike course and it will be partial paved from what I could see. This is FANTASTIC news for November....TERRIBLE news for my workout tomorrow.

Not to be detered from my workout, I drove a different route around the construction and came up with a 102 mile route that was close to the Ironman course. Short by 10 miles, it would serve the purpose to get an idea of my time. We had to modify our route 2 weeks ago...but not THIS much!!

With that problem solved, I turned to checking in and unloading the car. Two bikes(I brought my hubby's...he wants to see the first few miles of the bike course), biking gear, running gear, swim gear and of course, some decent clothes for some fun hours with my hubby...all piled onto a rolling cart and brought to the condo. I got everything organized in our new home on the ocean when the phone rang and my husband's stressed voice rang through on the other end..

"CUTIE....Are you there??" he asked. "Yes sweetie...whats wrong?? I asked with concern.

"Dad is in the hospital. I don't have the particulars but be ready to pack up and get to the airport. Im not sure if this is really serious or not but don't get too comfortable.

I paused...took a breath...and grabbed my computer and started looking for flights...just in case. How do I store the bikes and the gear if I have to leave?? I would have to check out of the condo and go right to the airport. I figured out a flight...and then headed back to the car where I determined i could fold down seats, put the bikes inside and stack our stuff on top of them. Not the BEST solution...but it would work in this pinch of a situation.

I called Mrs. Daly...she told me my father in law had been coughing up blood and was unble to keep anything in his system for more than 2 days. He was in alot of pain and they were concerned his kidneys were shutting down. They didn't have any answers at the moment...all we could do is wait...so I did the only thing I could think to do...

I went down to the beach and I prayed.

This beach. Ive never really just SAT on this beach and enjoyed its beauty. Ive never sat there and talked to God. Never once have I entered the water on this beach without a wetsuit. God and I had a long chat. We talked about family and illness and blessings and fears. I thanked him for all the amazing things he has placed before me. I thanked him for the triumphs and the tears...and then I asked...please...right now nothing is more important than my family. Nothing is more important than my father in law being out of harm's way.

I don't know if you, the reader, believe in a higher power. I know in my heart that there is one. My belief is storng. Sometimes I believe that God grabs you when you are so focused on small things and shows you what is truly important. Yes, my goals are important to me, but nothing is more important than the loved ones that you have been blessed with in your life.

The stomy sky gave way to a beautiful peaceful sunset and just as the sun sank, my phone rang again. My father in law was stable. His kidneys are functioning but they are doing a "scope" of his stomach tomorrow and more tests. He is out of the woods but they are being cautious. I hung up the phone and cried with relief.

Family is what molds you into who and what you are. Without my parents and the family I joined upon my marriage, I know I would not be the person I am today. I know that Ironman would not even be a consideration if I was not given the value system that my parents and in laws showed me early on in my life. My father in law would tell me to stop crying and go show that course who's boss!!

"You're a Daly now, little miss...you better live up to that name" I can hear him say.