You would think I would hate this place...but, Lord help me I love it here...
Greetings from Panama City Beach...my own personal crucible. I have had some great moments here. I have had others that broke my heart. There were moments on this beach where I thought about giving up my dream of become an Ironman but its just not in my nature to walk away for a goal such as this. I may be taking the year to get my body in order, but this place...this goal...this dream is alive and well in me.
The sun is rising over the beach. I am perched out on the balcony of my condo at the Boardwalk Beach Resort overlooking the swim course of the Gulf Coast Triathlon that starts tomorrow. It will be a unique race for me as I participate in a relay team. I will only be doing the 1.2 mile swim because of my knee surgery. Its hard to walk around and watch the race preparation unfold but I am excited for my friends who have stepped up to be on the Team Tri Hard Half Ironman Relay Team.
Once I exit the water, Ill be tagging up with my friend Rebecca Babb. She is a 20's something up and coming triathlete with a positive attitude and a lot of talent. She has had her share of bumps in the road but she is strong and eager to do well in this race. She and I raced at the Nation's Triathlon last year for Team in Training and she blistered the course with her speed on the bike and run. She is famous in Orlando for wearing her purple tutu to 5k races or stashing her superhero cape in transition to compliment her outfit on the run of a triathlon. This is JUST the type of person I need on my team...determined...but doesn't tae it all too seriously.
As Rebecca completes her 56 mile bike, she will tag up with one of my dearest friends, Sandi Fuller. Sandi has been doing marathons and half marathons with me for over 5 years. We have enjoyed a beer standing in the surf at Virginia Beach after numerous half marathons and braved the race elements in cities like Nashville, Tampa, and Cocoa . Sandi is fast and naturally talented so when we suggested this relay she was thrilled. It will be her first time participating in a triathlon and her first triathlon medal.
So with a little help from my friends, I will complete this race. My only fear is getting up the sand on the beach to the transition area....and...of course, I have the fear of not making the cut off. The relay wave is the final wave of the day at 715am...I have until 825am to complete. My average time in the swim is from 55 minutes to 1 hour...so I should be ok...but i always worry...ALWAYS!!
As I sip my coffee and look out of this beautiful water (which right now has not been touch by the oil spill near Louisiana), my mind can't help thinking about that day in 18 months when I will be crossing a finish line and achieving a dream...
Ill keep you posted on the race tomorrow...
Friday, May 7, 2010
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Believe..and you will achieve
Its the quote I tell my Team Tri Hard athletes over and over again. On Saturday morning, over 200 swimmers, triathletes and general fitness enthusiasts decended on Lucky's Lake to complete the 1K open water swim. Swimming at Dr. Meishenheimer's home on LIttle Lake Cane in Orlando has become the stuff of national radio and T.V. spots and famous the world over as the place for triathletes to get a good open water workout in.
My athletes were a little hesitant but over the last few weeks, they all have completed the Open Water Swim. Once you complete the 1K...you get the honor of putting your signature on the wall (or ceiling) of Dr. Lucky's Pool area. He also gives you a patch and a bumper sticker to celebrate your accomplishment.
All my athletes had jumped this hurdle (some of them on their own the day after my knee surgery) except for one. Ethan..or as we call her "Ethee" has become a solid cyclist and runner over the last few weeks...but the water just isn't her strong event. She struggles with breathing and sometmes gets nervous just doing her workouts in the pool. Lucky's Lake was the ultimate challenge.
She had entered the lake on the weekend when I was not there but did not do the crossing. She made it to the first or second buoy and returned to the dock to cheer on her teammates. Today, it was my goal to help Ethee see that she could accomplish this goal....See it...Believe it...Achieve it!!
With over 200 people enter the water, my group hung back to give way to the super fast swimmers. We stepped onto the small beach and past the plaster alligators that Lucky has placed on next to his dock. A few of my athletes were a little unnerved by the reminder that...this is a Florida lake..you never know!!
Ethee and I enter the water together. She was wearing a SwimSafe belt (an floatation device that can be inflated if an emergency arises) provided by one of my more experience athletes and I promised her I would be with her the whole way. As we swam, she got into a rhythm of freestyle, breast stroke and floating on her back. My goal was simple for Ethee...to get her there and back.
We got to the same buoy she had turned at on her first attempt and she thought about returning to the dock. I told her that was simply not an option. Today was her day to complete this and we were going to do it..one stroke...one breath...one kick at a time. She made it to the third buoy and finally to the other side of the lake where we celebrated. She had completed half the distance and got a breather on the beach.
As we stared back to the other side, you could tell what she was thinking in this moment. "Can I make it?" "Do I try?" "Will I drown??" "Im 50..this is crazy!!" she told me. I should be swimming with a noodle (a foam flotation that some of the swimmers were using). I told her the only noodles she would be enjoying that day were over lunch and NOT in this lake. You can't use a noodle during the race..why would you use it here!
We started off back across the lake and she had moments of doubt and accomplishment cross her face. She was scared...and she was elated. It was absolutely amazing to watch this determined woman make this crossing. Each stroke got her closer to her goal.
As we approached the dock...you could her our team screaming her name. She looked at me and said "Now they are embarrassing me!!" I told her to be proud...its not everyday you face your fear and complete a goal!!! She came up on the beach and highfived me and another swimmer, Lynne who had been swimming with her coach Jane!! She had completed what she thought was impossible.
We took pictures of her signing the ceiling in Lucky's Pool area...and also with her new swimming buddy, Lynne!! I got in my car and I was very proud of Ethee...and her team of triathletes.
As I drove home, I contemplated the morning's events and realized that is was for moments like this that God has brought me to coaching. I certainly don't look like the typical Triathlon Coach but I understand what its like to be slow. I know what its like to finish last..but the point today was...Ethee had the guts to start...and finish!
In this downtime that my body requires from surgery and as I enter a new phase of self improvement, I am honored and humbled to have wonderful men and woman that call me coach and bless me with experiences like I had today. I have no aspirations of coaching elite athletes...but I do have aspirations of coaching those with more heart and drive than any olympian!
As I walked back to my car, I past a vehicle with three stickers on the back window: one was an Ironman logo, one was the word TRI and the final one was a famous quote in the world of endurance sports
And that, my friends, is what my world is all about!!
As always...Ill keep you posted
My athletes were a little hesitant but over the last few weeks, they all have completed the Open Water Swim. Once you complete the 1K...you get the honor of putting your signature on the wall (or ceiling) of Dr. Lucky's Pool area. He also gives you a patch and a bumper sticker to celebrate your accomplishment.
All my athletes had jumped this hurdle (some of them on their own the day after my knee surgery) except for one. Ethan..or as we call her "Ethee" has become a solid cyclist and runner over the last few weeks...but the water just isn't her strong event. She struggles with breathing and sometmes gets nervous just doing her workouts in the pool. Lucky's Lake was the ultimate challenge.
She had entered the lake on the weekend when I was not there but did not do the crossing. She made it to the first or second buoy and returned to the dock to cheer on her teammates. Today, it was my goal to help Ethee see that she could accomplish this goal....See it...Believe it...Achieve it!!
With over 200 people enter the water, my group hung back to give way to the super fast swimmers. We stepped onto the small beach and past the plaster alligators that Lucky has placed on next to his dock. A few of my athletes were a little unnerved by the reminder that...this is a Florida lake..you never know!!
Ethee and I enter the water together. She was wearing a SwimSafe belt (an floatation device that can be inflated if an emergency arises) provided by one of my more experience athletes and I promised her I would be with her the whole way. As we swam, she got into a rhythm of freestyle, breast stroke and floating on her back. My goal was simple for Ethee...to get her there and back.
We got to the same buoy she had turned at on her first attempt and she thought about returning to the dock. I told her that was simply not an option. Today was her day to complete this and we were going to do it..one stroke...one breath...one kick at a time. She made it to the third buoy and finally to the other side of the lake where we celebrated. She had completed half the distance and got a breather on the beach.
As we stared back to the other side, you could tell what she was thinking in this moment. "Can I make it?" "Do I try?" "Will I drown??" "Im 50..this is crazy!!" she told me. I should be swimming with a noodle (a foam flotation that some of the swimmers were using). I told her the only noodles she would be enjoying that day were over lunch and NOT in this lake. You can't use a noodle during the race..why would you use it here!
We started off back across the lake and she had moments of doubt and accomplishment cross her face. She was scared...and she was elated. It was absolutely amazing to watch this determined woman make this crossing. Each stroke got her closer to her goal.
As we approached the dock...you could her our team screaming her name. She looked at me and said "Now they are embarrassing me!!" I told her to be proud...its not everyday you face your fear and complete a goal!!! She came up on the beach and highfived me and another swimmer, Lynne who had been swimming with her coach Jane!! She had completed what she thought was impossible.
We took pictures of her signing the ceiling in Lucky's Pool area...and also with her new swimming buddy, Lynne!! I got in my car and I was very proud of Ethee...and her team of triathletes.
As I drove home, I contemplated the morning's events and realized that is was for moments like this that God has brought me to coaching. I certainly don't look like the typical Triathlon Coach but I understand what its like to be slow. I know what its like to finish last..but the point today was...Ethee had the guts to start...and finish!
In this downtime that my body requires from surgery and as I enter a new phase of self improvement, I am honored and humbled to have wonderful men and woman that call me coach and bless me with experiences like I had today. I have no aspirations of coaching elite athletes...but I do have aspirations of coaching those with more heart and drive than any olympian!
As I walked back to my car, I past a vehicle with three stickers on the back window: one was an Ironman logo, one was the word TRI and the final one was a famous quote in the world of endurance sports
The miracle isn't that I finished the race. The miracle is that I had the courage to start.--John Bingham
And that, my friends, is what my world is all about!!
As always...Ill keep you posted
Friday, April 30, 2010
This is what I do...
At 130am..im still awake..lying in bed...KNOWING that I have to be at boot camp to work with a new client at 5am. After finally getting 3 hours sleep, I was up...coffee in hand and out the door..
The 5am class of Boot Camp was happy to see me after a 2 week absence from doing fitness assessments . I don't teach a specific class of boot camp, but work with the people that are entering the program. We do a three part fitness evaluation, sign some paperwork and talk about their goals.
One of our boot campers came up to me and asked, "So .. I guess this is the end of the road with your triathlon career. No more Ironman dreams, huh." I smiled...and then I laughed...."Are you kidding." I said
I made one simple statement: No...this is what I do.
Triathlon is what I do. Its hard for me to envision going to the gym and working out just for my health. I need a GOAL...and racing is just that. By the way .. there are approximately 180 days until Ironman Miami 70.3. Without a goal to reach towards, I find it hard to motivate myself.
Right now..my short term goal is simple....GET WELL. I know that, as my surgeon Dr. Ott told me, I need to pick my battles. I know my race seasons that include 18 races are probably over but to give up triathlon all together...NO WAY!!
Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal. The ultimate goal is that date I have with Mike Rielly at the finish line of Ironman Florida. I have done poor Mr. Rielly a disservice by standing him up twice, I don't plan on not making it the third time!!
The 5am class of Boot Camp was happy to see me after a 2 week absence from doing fitness assessments . I don't teach a specific class of boot camp, but work with the people that are entering the program. We do a three part fitness evaluation, sign some paperwork and talk about their goals.
One of our boot campers came up to me and asked, "So .. I guess this is the end of the road with your triathlon career. No more Ironman dreams, huh." I smiled...and then I laughed...."Are you kidding." I said
I made one simple statement: No...this is what I do.
Triathlon is what I do. Its hard for me to envision going to the gym and working out just for my health. I need a GOAL...and racing is just that. By the way .. there are approximately 180 days until Ironman Miami 70.3. Without a goal to reach towards, I find it hard to motivate myself.
Right now..my short term goal is simple....GET WELL. I know that, as my surgeon Dr. Ott told me, I need to pick my battles. I know my race seasons that include 18 races are probably over but to give up triathlon all together...NO WAY!!
Obstacles are what you see when you take your eyes off the goal. The ultimate goal is that date I have with Mike Rielly at the finish line of Ironman Florida. I have done poor Mr. Rielly a disservice by standing him up twice, I don't plan on not making it the third time!!
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
First Physical Therapy Session
Let me tell you how much fun Physical Therapy is...
I think I would rather ride my bike for 6 hours....seriously!!
YIKES...that hurts like hell....but I know that I am in the capable hands of the Florida Hospital Therapy Team at the RDV Sports Complex. For now, I am working with a general therapist but next week , I am hoping work with a woman by the name of Laura. She came highly recommended by not one but two friends who are marathon runners. I think she will understand my need to get back on the road and back to being me again.
Its been 12 days since my surgery. I am walking without crutches or a cane. I can ALMOST bend my knee as normal but there is the tightness in it that still smarts!! Every once in awhile, it wants to give out on me...but those times are rare. I am now capable of climbing stairs without taking them one at a time.
I did my first swim workout on Monday and covered just 1000 yards. Yesterdays was 2000 and I am hoping today will be 2500. I will swim the 1.2 mile swim portion of a relay team at the Gulf Coast Triathlon on May 8th so I want to make sure I can cover the distance under time!!
It's slowly coming together...but as usual...Im not very patient!!
I think I would rather ride my bike for 6 hours....seriously!!
YIKES...that hurts like hell....but I know that I am in the capable hands of the Florida Hospital Therapy Team at the RDV Sports Complex. For now, I am working with a general therapist but next week , I am hoping work with a woman by the name of Laura. She came highly recommended by not one but two friends who are marathon runners. I think she will understand my need to get back on the road and back to being me again.
Its been 12 days since my surgery. I am walking without crutches or a cane. I can ALMOST bend my knee as normal but there is the tightness in it that still smarts!! Every once in awhile, it wants to give out on me...but those times are rare. I am now capable of climbing stairs without taking them one at a time.
I did my first swim workout on Monday and covered just 1000 yards. Yesterdays was 2000 and I am hoping today will be 2500. I will swim the 1.2 mile swim portion of a relay team at the Gulf Coast Triathlon on May 8th so I want to make sure I can cover the distance under time!!
It's slowly coming together...but as usual...Im not very patient!!
Sunday, April 25, 2010
You don't put regular gas in your Ferrari
I love cars. I am addicted to new car smell. The color of a car (mostly reds, greens, blues, or a special glossy black) can increase my blood pressure. If you slide into the leather seats and go "hmmmm..." it melts my butter. I got this addiction from my father...he changes cars like most people change socks.
I recently bought a new Lexus SUV...just the small one...but it's red...its new... its shiny and it carries all my triathlon gear. I use to drive a large expensive SUV that I bought from the above mentioned car addict of a father...but it was too expensive to maintain and it was gray in color ... and it wasn't me.
So...it may not surprise you that the above quote that titles this blog struck a cord with me. If I owned a Ferrari...I would NEVER put regular gas in it...But when this quote was made, it had nothing to do with a car..but everything do to with a talented triathlete.
I was speaking to Chris,a talented triathlete and the lifeguard that helps at the pool where my Team Tri Hard triathlete work out every Thursday night. It was getting late in the evening and his boss came out to make sure he had gotten dinner. He told them that he would eat when he got home because..."he doesn't put regular gas in the Ferrari.."
How profound. I have thought about this comment for days. Isn't it interesting how some athletes view food as fuel. For someone with an eating disorder, we view food as recreation or as comfort...but rarely do we view it as fuel.
It is interesting, however, that when I get on the bike and do multiple hours, those workouts will require additional nutrition. I often use Fig Newtons on these rides because they work with my system. It is only in those moments that I don't view the Fig Newtons as cookies...but as fuel.
If I could just starting viewing food as fuel instead of using it as a numbing mechanism, I could seriously have this weight problem licked but, as we all know, it is never that easy. People who do not have an eating disorder will say that simple phrase "Well..just stop eating so much." For those of you with any sort of addiction..you know..if it were that easy, we would have done it a long time ago.
I got a picture off the web of a Ferrari and stuck it to my refrigerator...to remind me...that just as my love of cars exists...so should my love of me. My body is worthy of being treated like that fine italian racing machine. I deserve the "good fuel" instead of the junk.
Doesn't it amaze you where you can find inspiration for your life???
I recently bought a new Lexus SUV...just the small one...but it's red...its new... its shiny and it carries all my triathlon gear. I use to drive a large expensive SUV that I bought from the above mentioned car addict of a father...but it was too expensive to maintain and it was gray in color ... and it wasn't me.
So...it may not surprise you that the above quote that titles this blog struck a cord with me. If I owned a Ferrari...I would NEVER put regular gas in it...But when this quote was made, it had nothing to do with a car..but everything do to with a talented triathlete.
I was speaking to Chris,a talented triathlete and the lifeguard that helps at the pool where my Team Tri Hard triathlete work out every Thursday night. It was getting late in the evening and his boss came out to make sure he had gotten dinner. He told them that he would eat when he got home because..."he doesn't put regular gas in the Ferrari.."
How profound. I have thought about this comment for days. Isn't it interesting how some athletes view food as fuel. For someone with an eating disorder, we view food as recreation or as comfort...but rarely do we view it as fuel.
It is interesting, however, that when I get on the bike and do multiple hours, those workouts will require additional nutrition. I often use Fig Newtons on these rides because they work with my system. It is only in those moments that I don't view the Fig Newtons as cookies...but as fuel.
If I could just starting viewing food as fuel instead of using it as a numbing mechanism, I could seriously have this weight problem licked but, as we all know, it is never that easy. People who do not have an eating disorder will say that simple phrase "Well..just stop eating so much." For those of you with any sort of addiction..you know..if it were that easy, we would have done it a long time ago.
I got a picture off the web of a Ferrari and stuck it to my refrigerator...to remind me...that just as my love of cars exists...so should my love of me. My body is worthy of being treated like that fine italian racing machine. I deserve the "good fuel" instead of the junk.
Doesn't it amaze you where you can find inspiration for your life???
My 25th College Reunion
A few months ago, I headed to the mailbox and found that invitation. Its the one that reminds you just how old you really are. My 25th college reunion. REALLY?? I don't FEEL that old. As I stared at the date, my mind immediately compared it to the triathlon calendar and...I realized...it was the same weekend as St. Anthony's.
I got it figured out that I would fly back to St. Pete and compete in the race on Sunday and enjoy part of the festivities of my reunion on Friday and Saturday. That was BEFORE my knee surgery occurred and took me out of racing for awhile. I guess God has a plan as it required me to slow down, enjoy this special moment and share with women I had not seen in ages.
I attended a small women's college in Spartanburg SC known as Converse College. After a year of looking at large colleges around the south and even being accepted to some prestigious northern schools, Converse offered a scholarship and touched my heart. It was small, friendly, beautiful and the faculty really seemed to care about the education they were providing. I had already sent my acceptance to Auburn Univetsity by the time I went to Converse...but with just weeks prior to the deadline, I switched...and forever became a Converse "Connie"...as they use to call us.
A Florida girl at a Southern Belle college took some getting use to and there were times I simply didn't fit in ...but there were several people that became lifelong friends including my roommate of 2 of my 4 years, Tammy Foster. We all converged on the Converse campus for two days of reliving old memories and seeing the campus.
I made it around campus, limping along, but I am so glad that I attended this event. I keep in touch with many of these women on Facebook but others were a sight for sore eyes. They remember me as the partying slacker that barely graduated..hard to believe how much I have changed since my days of showing up to class half awake and hung over. My husband attended some of the events with me because, well, he is one of the things that HASN'T changed since college...we met 3 weeks into my freshman year..and married 6 months after graduation.
My husband and I also visited the spot on campus where we had our first kiss. So many wonderful memories. It was worth missing St. Anthony's .....
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Why do I do some of the things I do...really...
Ugh!! Frustration!! It's hard working for a charity in the midst of a recession. Times are tough are the words I hear over and over again every time I ask for a donation to the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society or ask for a silent auction item.
Yep! Times are Tough....but I got another fact you might wanna consider...
Cancer doesn't really care if times are tough. It's still out there and we still don't have a clue how to beat it.
There are moments I sit back, like I did today, and wonder..."why in the hell do I put myself through working for a charity!!??" Im not getting paid for my time. I'm doing this when I could be doing something else...like shopping or having lunch with friends. Instead of sleeping in on a Saturday morning, I choose to go work out with a group of people helping to raise awareness about blood cancers.
And today....I got my answer in plain form. All it took was some copy paper, some Team in Training Purple Jerseys...and a few willing souls.
An entry a few days ago discussed my friend Doug who is battling CML and is undergoing a bone marrow transplant. He is in the process of receiving chemo that is killing off his immune system so his body is ready for the new bone marrow. He is in isolation because of this...no visitors.
But we found a way. A group of Team in Training participants and some coaches gathered on the sidewalk outside Doug's hospital room. Dressed in our Purple Team in Training Jerseys, we held up letters to spell a simple message to Doug that he could see from his window. We called the nurse's station near his room and had one of the nurses go and ask Doug to look out the window....
When he did, we held up our letters that spelled out: We Love You. We then wrote letters on the back of the cards that spelled out Doug's nickname : Billygoat!
I could barely hold back the tears. The thought of being in isolation for so long, the fear of losing your life to cancer and the knowledge that you have little children that might be left without a father just all seemed overwhelming. So much is weighing on my friend's mind...but we hoped this small little sign would help lift his spirits and know he is not alone in his quest for survival.
I believe in the power of prayer. I believe in the power of the human spirit to rise up against illness and injury and heal the body. I believe God has a hand in all of this.
It made my day to know that maybe we made his day.
Why do I do what I do?? Why do I dress in purple, raise money for cancer research and swim, bike and run hundreds of miles with a team of people that have mostly never done events like this before??
Its simple: because Cancer Sucks...and my heartfelt goal is to make cancer disappear in our lifetime.
I hope you will join me in whatever way you chose to help find a cure for the disease. Whether you support the Leukemia Society, Livestrong, the American Cancer Society, St. Judes or others...I hope you will join me in the army of people who will not let this disease continue to take lives....they are too precious...
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