Life is a Highway

Well..actually...for me yesterday, it was a brand new, smooth, paved CLOSED 5 mile section of highway that was perfect for 10 mile loops!! Welcome to what I have now called "The Power Loop"...a section of highway not yet connected near the Stanton Power Plant in Avalon Park in Orlando. I had a shorter ride to do yesterday (just 30 miles) but some of it was a time trail test. This section of highway was PERFECT for this ride!!

And, for a change, I didn't have to workout alone. Along for the ride were Ryan, Kate, Coach Beth, and Carolyn-all Team in Training participants or alumni who are training for various events. Carolyn is doing a century ride in October. Kate and Ryan are doing Augusta 70.3 and Beth is doing the 70.3 and Ironman Florida. (you will find the blogs noted on my blog page).

It was so nice to have someone to chat with and, in some cases, CHASE during this ride. No traffic, no congestion...just open road and the sunrise. Some people don't realize how inspiring they can be with a kind word or just riding with you through the miles. It was a short but wonderful experience

I am preparing to leave tomorrow (Tuesday) for Panama City but this was a fun workout and watch out world, these athletes are WELL prepared for their challenges ahead!!

More from Panama City when I arrive tomorrow....and Oh yeah..GO TEAM!!!

70 days to Ironman..and 6 days to focus

I know a lot of people that freak out about birthdays. Women worry about getting older. Some women get enough plastic surgery to try to look like a teenager while others age with grace and beauty. My mother is one of those who is aging with grace and beauty on the outside...and fighting the aging process kicking and screaming on the inside. She is always a lady and always so poised and elegant.

Me, on the other hand. I am unique. When a doctor says you won't see 40, being 46 is a celebration of 6 years you didn't think you would have. From that moment, I have vowed to live like I was dying. Every day is a special gift with so many possibilities. Don't get me wrong. Like everyone, I have my share of crummy days that make you wanna scream and pull your hair out but even then, you can see the good in another day.

So, as the clock ticks down to Ironman, and I start to getting VERY nervous, I am looking forward to spending my birthday in a place where I will be writing my own little bit of history. Im going back to Panama City for almost a week.

For 3 of those days, I will be alone. I will be there to train and just clear my head. On Wednesday I will do another long ride. On Thursday a long run and then Friday some swimming. Then the weekend will be full of short early morning workouts before the sunrise and before my friends and my husband even wake up.

I want to sit out on that beach and invision this race in my head. I want to see myself exiting the water strong and determined and UNDER the cut off. I want to walk the stairs and go into the parking lot where transition will be. I want to see in my mind's eye a transition to the run and a mini celebration of accomplishing that cut off...and finally..seeing the finish line and finally attaining one of the most difficult goals in my life. I know this is all just a mind **ck but .. hey...I got the condo for free (I have a friend who owns a unit at the Boardwalk and gave it to me for that time) so why not use it. I asked for vacation a long time ago during my birthday so I have the time off...so why not take some time for me to get my head straight...all on my 46th birthday,

So if you are up that way and see the short stocky chick pedaling or running the Ironman course, say hi. I might be starving for some company until my friends and hubby arrive on Friday!!!

Swimming in the dark

Its 300am...do YOU know where your aspiring Ironman Triathlete might be??

AWAKE!! Very awake!! UGH!! The two men of my household "sing" perfect harmony about this time...which keeps me awake. My 100lb golden retriever named Murphy snores almost as loud as my husband. As my eyes opened at 3am, I had to giggle as the dog would snore...and then my husband...and then the dog...and then...well..you get the idea!!

I take comfort in knowing that they are sleeping like rocks. Me...when I sleep...Im usually out..but this week has been a light week of workout so my eyes are open after 5 hours sleep. I decided to get up, make coffee and see what I could accomplish at this hour of the morning.

I am blessed with the fact that I have several places to workout around town. I belong to a fitness club just 3 minutes from my house, I have access to my old high school's aquatic center, I have an endless pool in my backyard pool AND I belong to the YMCA. I know..that's ridiculous but its called having your bases covered.

At 4am, I decided to find out who opened the earliest of all the venues. The YMCA Aquatic Center is open at 530am. The High School Pool at 6am. My endless pool is always an option but it would wake up my husband if I fired it up at this hour. Ahhh..but to my surprise, the fitness center near my house is open at 500am. The only drawback-the pool is outdoors.

I grab my gear and head out the door at 445am. My dog looks at me like I must be on crack. I swear he gave me that look of "You BETTER not be planning to take me for a walk at this hour"

I signed in at 501am and wrote "pool" next to my name. The attendant looked at me and said "You know..there is only one light in that pool...you'll be swimming in the dark." I told him that was ok and headed out to the pool deck. He looked at me like I had two heads.

There is something very peaceful about a pool that you have all to yourself. No fighting for lanes. No trying to figure out which lane is the slowest so you don't hold people up in their workout. I slipped into the water to find the temperature quite nice. This was an awesome idea.

I pulled out my workout sheet and laughed. No light to read it. I jumped out, ran over to the outdoor building light and read through Hector's idea of a aquatic good time and jumped back in.

An into the dark i went. You could see the wall but it was a very strange environment to swim in. I felt like I was back in blackwater scuba class with a partially blacked out mask. Heck, if I can scuba dive in zero visability, I can swim in this.

An hour and 30 minutes later, I jumped out of the pool quite satisfied that I had accomplished one of my two workouts for the day....all before 640am.

Thanks guys...I never thought i would be happy with your snoring :)

7 hours and 1 minute of reflection

When they say that Ironman is a Journey and not a destination, I couldn't agree more. I have sat down to write this post probably a half dozen times. I changed the title four times. Im not really this "specific" about what I put here but this workout was very important to me. I really needed to see progress.

I slept well but was up at 4am. I went and got coffee for everyone and enjoyed the quiet stillness of the early morning. I swear that most of my life is planned out in these quiet hours of the morning while the rest of the world slumbers. I ride, I run, I swim, I blog and I just get my life together in the peacefulness that is the early morning.

With breakfast eaten and bike suited up, I found myself waiting for my riding partner who was just not organized. I have to tell you, this is unusual for Rick. He is usually ready to rock and roll for any workout or race but today I think he was just a little distracted. It's hard to leave your beautiful girlfriend alone on a gorgeous beach on a perfect day to go ride for 7 hours. Wouldn't you rather just be kicked back on the sand??

And believe me, as we rode down the elevator with our bikes and everyone else with coolers, towels and sunscreen, I thought about how crazy my life has become. THIS is what normal people do, I told Rick. Rick looked right at me and said "Your average "NORMAL" person isn't an Ironman! How could I argue with this logic??

We mounted up and with Rick's girlfriend, Lisa, taking photos, we rolled out of the Boardwalk Beach Condos at 7am. I hit my watch and set my goal in my mind. I wanna be back here in 7 to 7 1/2 hours.

We got on to Front Beach Road and you could feel the breeze starting to pick up. I would rather the wind be in my face at the BEGINNING of the ride and not at the end so this was ok with me. As we turned onto the first major Highway (Hwy. 79), the wind hit us head on. This is like an endless mountain climb as you work against the elements. I got my head into a place where I was totally focused and for the first 25 miles, we battled the wind.

Up and over the bridge at mile 12 and I am amazed at my rate of climb. This ability has definitely improved much to my shock. Meanwhile, Rick is climbing like a rider in the tour and blows by me with no effort. All I can do is admire his ability.

Going downhill, however, I have no fear. I get as much speed and gearing going to extend the downhill run as long as possible. As we approach our first stop at mile 25, I am shocked to see that our favorite little country convenience store is closed. The only thing at the corner of Highway 79 and Highway 20 was a Boiled Peanut Stand. We stopped and discussed this first section and then continued on. We have now named the intersection "Peanut Turn".

Out of the wind on Highway 20, we are flying. Some minor rollers in the terrain actually make this section of the course fun. Rick stayed behind me for most of the ride but on this section he wanted to test his ability and gearing so he went ahead as I kept my cadence just where Hector had told me.

Mile 35 and a super quick stop at a BP station that is still open and we are off. Thank goodness for the facilities as I had to really go 10 miles earlier.

The next 15 miles are challenging in spots and fun in others. I race from landmark to landmark so from the BP station, I am looking for the beautiful little river that we cross over. As I went over the bridge and looked down, there were people rafted together on intertubes floating down the waterway. Hmmm...everytime I do this ride, I promise myself I am going to do that someday.

At mile 45, I have my first mental struggle. The one major hill before the Special Needs stop has got me frustrated as I grind my way up. I am talking to myself the whole way. I swear, if you heard me talking to myself like I was, you would have me locked up. They are always positive words but it just sounds funny out in the middle of nowhere.

Finally, I see the major intersection at mile 50 and I feel fantastic. Much to my shock, I pull into the truck stop to find that Lisa, Mike and Vi have set up one of the picnic tables in the parking lot with a huge umbrella and a full array of food and COLD water!! Im telling ya...I have NEVER had a support stop like this on a bike ride before. We had a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a rest stop, and topped off our gels and gatorade. If the race stopped right here, I would be feeling amaizng. It is interesting how your body sets barriers. I have been training for half Ironman races for almost 3 years now so my body has gotten accustom to a max of 56 miles. Today, we were gong to rework some physical barriers.

We waved goodbye to our support crew and headed on our way. Onward to mile 60 and the turn from the Highway to Campflower Road. Due to construction, we had to stop and walk our bikes across some serious gravel, mud and debris.

This is where, for me, the struggle really begins. This 10 mile section of road is rough due to expansion joints they have cut into the road to battle the hot/cold temps. Every 10 seconds on this section of the ride you feel like someone is nailing you in the privates with a nail gun. Its very frustrating and it can actually rattle your teeth. We make it to mile 70 and I am in tears.

Why the tears? I wasn't cramping. I am not sick to my stomach. My speed could be better but the biggest problem is my mental game. I am struggling mentally to grasp that I have 42 miles left to go. I have found my mental barrier and it appears right at mile 70. Rick and I talk about this as we ride and I am determined to overcome this feeling of just wanting to call and get a ride home. "I HAVE to do this"

Now its interesting to note here that I have done 7 century rides in my life and several 100+ mile workouts. If I let myself for one moment thinking about the total miles ahead of me, I get totally discouraged and want to quit. If I race from landmark to landmark, I seem to be fine. I just can't THINK about the mileage. As crazy as that sounds, that is the only way mentally I seem to be able to accomplish this distance.

At mile 80, I start to actually experience some discomfort and in, of all places, my neck. I am blessed with a new bike that has been fitted so well I can now stay in aero a whole lot longer than I ever thought possible. The drawback of that is that I don't believe I have trained my back and neck to be in the position for that long. At mile 80, all i want to do is look DOWN instead of AHEAD.

At mile 88, another mental barrier stands before me, and it almost trips me up. My feet are hurting but I am not thinking straight. If I had just loosen the straps on my shoes, I would have probably avoided that pain. I finally talk my way out of this with Rick's help and we continue on.

We return back to the bridge at mile 100 and it was as if someone had opened a door and let the sunshine in. I felt better and I was excited about finishing. I picked up my pace, I enjoyed the views from the top of the bridge. I focused on creating a little more speed (but at this point, my legs are a little fatigued) and getting back the condo. We finally have the wind to our back and we are making great time down next to the beach.

We make the turn onto Thomas Drive and a smile crosses my face. In my mind, I can see the transition area. I can see the finish line and all the people. I can hear the crowd. I even went so far as to follow the chute into what would be T2 and stop my watch.

I practiced dismounting my bike. I couldn't help but smile, and then cry. Never in my life have I wanted to accomplish something as much as I want to complete this race. Today, I felt like I took one more step forward toward that very precious goal.

Hector and I spoke after the workout. I explained to him my struggles and that I felt like I was the only one who must have these mental battlegrounds. He told me I was silly....that ALL athletes at one time or another face fear and deal with the desire to just go home. Today, he told me, I took a sledgehammer to the concrete barriers that are holding me back from attaining my dream. We just need to keep breaking away that concrete because, underneath lies an Ironman!!

105 miles = 7 hours 1 minute = 14.97 mph

Greetings from the Finish Line-Friday Aug 21 2009

Yup..you read that just right...Im at the Finish Line.

Greetings from Panama City Beach Florida

This weekend is an important one as I plan to ride the Ironman Florida Bike Course..the full 112 mile bike on Saturday and then run half of the Ironman run course..a mere 13.1 miles on Sunday. No big deal.

Well...not exactly.

This is a VERY big deal to me because this place is a venue of triumph and tears. I have had my heart broken here on two different occasions...and celebrated in victory on another occasion. For me, this is a proving ground..and tomorrow...I plan to show that all the work is paying off...Im ready to cover these 112 miles and do it in the best time of my life.

I have been extremely blessed with an incredible group of close friends have come to support me and my business partner Rick. First off, Rick is riding with me tomorrow. He is already an Ironman Florida Finisher from 2007. He decided when I signed up to give this another go in 2009 that he would do one more Ironman...just one. So here he is, getting a little riding of his own in.

My oldest and dearest friends, Mike and Vi are here to help. They are going to meet us at the half way point of the bike to supply extra fluids, nutrition and a cheer or two.

And finally, Lisa, Rick's amazing girlfriend is getting her second taste of triathlon and training for an Ironman. She attended the St. Anthony's Triathlon with us this year but is learning alot about gu, gatorade, ice baths and body glide (maybe...too much information?? :)

Im nervous...Hell...let me be blunt...Im scared. It is so important to me to cover this bike ride in 7 to 7 1/2 hours. If I can do that, I know I will have enough time for the run.

Im almost too tired to type. It was a 7 hour ride to Panama City...a dinner out and some time setting up the equipment. The test begins tomorrow at 7am...

As always..Ill keep you posted...

You can't control the weather..

Ok...before you start reading, I am asking for 1 minute of bitch time via my blog. Pull out your stopwatches and time me if you like. After that, I am not going to mention this silliness again....READY??? GO!!!

For weeks, Florida and the Caribbean have enjoyed one of the quietest Hurricane Season on record. Just when you start to get comfortable....WHAM!! Here they come!! Being a native Floridian, I can tell you, we DON'T takes these things lightly. There are a lot of storms that are no big deal...some water, some wind, a few hours without power and you are back to reality and cleaning up the sticks and leaves in your yard. Then there are other storms that put electrical transformers in your pool, crack the pool foundation, destroy your pool enclosure and rip your entire electrical panel off your house and leave you without power for 6 weeks. Sounds like Im talking from experience? Well....yes I am.

I am frustrated. For weeks, I have been planning to go to Panama City to train. I have changed the date twice because my training partner, Rick, had some scheduling conflicts. What weekend did we choose??? THIS WEEKEND!! The remnants of Tropical Storm Ana are forcasted to find their way right over Panama City for the weekend making a training ride one serious mess.

Cross your fingers!! As storms can die out, change direction or loop around and bite you in the butt (like Hurricane Charley did 5 years ago and caused the damage described above)..I am hoping that this storm falls apart and heads to Texas where they REALLY need the rain.

Come on weather gods, cut the girl some slack so she can get prepared for the race of her life!!!

Bitching concluded.....did I make it under one minute???

A life defined...

I learn so much from other people. I think that is why I enjoy reading the words of others. I think you can learn a lot by reading people's thoughts and words. I truly enjoy spending time early in the morning looking at other blogs and seeing the lives that people lead.

Recently, I had a friend decide that doing a Half Ironman was not what would make her happy. She realized that a family was her heart's desire. She made a difficult decision to switch paths to achieve the happiness that she desired so much. As I read her blog, I swear I almost stood up and applauded!! Isn't this what life is about.?

Words, blogs and lives. I have a terrible habit of having a big mouth so A LOT of the time I don't LISTEN when I should. That is why I adore reading blogs about people's lives. It gets around my faulty wiring and gets to the heart and soul of people. If they really open up in their blog, wow!! The things you can learn about life, about yourself and about the special people that God has put into your world.

Lately I have felt like such a failure. I have felt very inferior in a lot of the things that I do. This isn't anything new. I have often felt this way but it has increased recently because, let's face it, being a plus size woman who wants to achieve a goal like Ironman can give you ego a kick in the pants. Ive made a lot of mistakes over the last few months but I have had good friends who have forgiven my mistakes and have been wonderful to me. Like I have said many times before, I am blessed.

Spend 5.5 hours on a bike and you have tons of time to think and contemplate your life. I use to think that I was doing my part for the world around me but I realize there is so much more I can do.

The Ironman helps close a chapter in my life. It is the perfect metaphor for the struggle that I have undergone in the last 11 years to claw my way back to life. The person that walked the face of the earth in 1998 no longer exists. She was sad and depressed and used food to try to make things better. This person in 2009 sees that there is so much to life. This person sees that she will make serious mistakes and errors in judgement and still have friends who care about her. Training has taught me more than I ever dreamed possible. Life is full of endless possibilities!