Getting Ready for that Breakthrough

“Hope is not a dream but a way of making dreams become reality.

This is it. I can feel it in my bones. This IS my breakthrough race.

There, I said it. Like Babe Ruth calling his shot at bat, I am throwing down the gauntlet. This is MY DAY!

See, it's my day because Im going to celebrate a lot of different things. A few days ago, I got word that an old friend of mine died of a pulmonary embolism. She was a Dean at a local school and was active in her church. She had so much going for her but life..and death are strange things. In the blink of an eye, she was gone. This person celebrated life every day she was here

I plan to celebrate the fact that I CAN race triathlon. 11 years ago I was resorting to sitting down every few feet when I walked. Today, 70.3 miles under my own power. THAT'S SOMETHING TO CELEBRATE!!

So no matter what they day brings: Wind, Rain, Jellyfish (last year I was stung at the race and had to withdraw), Current, Punctures, Cramping Muscles Etc....it's a day to celebrate!! With a few blessings from above...Ill finish this one!!

"You got all day...just don't make dinner reservations"

"You got all day...just don't make dinner plans...Im not..." -IronBob

And it is comments like this that remind me WHY I keep this blog!! I get so focused on the elements of this race that I sometimes forget ... IT'S SUPPOSE TO BE FUN DAMN IT!!!

You got all day. Thats right IronBob. I paid for 17 hours of catered fun and excitement and I plan to use all of it but one minute. Ahhh the food...the drink...the scenery...the pageantry that IS Ironman. It's all so....well....EPIC!! Love that word. It just seems to pair with Ironman like peas and carrots!

Pictured above is my bulletin board in my home office. In the past, if there was a goal or an item I wanted, I would put a picture of it on my bulletin board until I got that goal or item. As you can tell from the Ironman Florida sticker, this goal has been around a few years. People told me to envision the finish line...so there it is...from an ATHLETE'S PERSPECTIVE. That is what you see as you run down the chute. Gosh I hope I get to see that view for real!!

I remember the Disney Marathon this year. That race ends in the Epcot Parking Lot and ironically the finish line sits on my cast parking area. Where I park my car every week to go to work is where I would finish one of the most difficult challenges I had undertaken at that point. I remember walking out to the lot one night after work and standing in the chute. I closed my eyes and I could hear people cheering. I could see the clock illuminated. I could see myself running across that line. I could even see my friend, Eddie, who works for ASI Photo taking my picture. It was so real to me. Four days later, it was real. I crossed that line as a storm was looming overhead. I was one of the final finishers. I made the cut off by seconds. I ran in with some of my favorite Team in Training Coaches. To me...it was indeed...Epic.

You got all day Melissa. Can't you see it..?? The swim is smooth and beautiful. The bike is windless and fast (and in my world its all about the bike). The run is partially in the dark but it's cool and draped in 11 years of Ironman Florida history. The finish line is...well...its an Ironman finish...

Just 39 more days...

The Crab Pot Theory

I haven't written here for awhile. Several reasons contribute to this lack of words on my part. I had a person that I do not know come up to me during a workout at the local Y and tell me "your blog is a downer...you should consider some help." At first I thought she was kidding..then I realized she was serious...and...well...here I am.

We all know that negative thinking can eat you up inside. We also know that there are a lot of people who will bring you down because they are down themselves. I believe its called the "crab pot theory". If one crab is about to make it out of the pot,the rest of the crabs will pull him right back down. Two things are very clear to me: I do not wish to be the crab that is pulled back AND I don't want to do the pulling.

I have had a series of bad workouts. I have had technical difficulties, illness, no injuries (thank you God), GI issues (this weekend) and the like. I could sit here and write about all that but does it really help anymore to go over the WOES of triathlon training. Ironman is tough. If it were easy, everyone would be doing it.

So this "crab" is tired of being CRABBY. There is a breakthrough on the horizon. There are moments that I believe that the crabs of this world want to pull you back but I refused to be "boiled" and served up with drawn butter. My desire is to develop that focus, that drive, that inner spirit that will get me to everything I can to do in my life. How do you find that?? How do you develop it?? This applies to more than just Ironman...this applies to all the goals I have in my life.

Every time I get on the bike, I DO see that my focus is sharpening. I go to my happy place. I envision that my legs are powering the projector that shows me the amazing moments of my life. The faster I pedal, the more I get to see. Pedal slower, and I don't get to see the happy times in focus. Visualization is very powerful for me. The less I think that I am traveling 112 miles on a bike seat or running 26 miles on my feet, the better I perform.

Am I the only one that uses this to get through a long race? If I open the door to negative thinking (like: my foot hurts, my stomach is upset, etc), I have to shut down those thoughts and go to something else in my mind. Once those negative thoughts take over, my performance dies. I have even gone so far to envision a HUGE dry eraser that erases the bad thoughts from my brain. Welcome to the strange world of Melissa's head.

As we get closer to Ironman, I want to develop more and more ways to deal with adversity during the race. I want to perfect the skill of staying calm under pressure and addressing issues as they arise. If you have any suggestions, Im all ears.

Now...for some reason...I have a terrible craving for seafood.... :) :) :)

The inspiration of Blogland

Greetings from the land of blood, sweat, tears, triumph and tribulation. Blogland includes all these things and more. I consider my blog "cheap therapy" but it wasn't until I came down with the this terrible cold that has sidelined me for a few days that I have fully appreciated blogland.

The blogs I have tripped over in my journey through cyberspace have a range of emotion. I have giggled. I have cried. I have been inspired. I have been pumped up just by reading their words. To those that follow me...don't worry...Im following you...and all of you inspire me.

I have one friend who just can't remember her blogspot name and password...so when she reads mine..she sends me a message on beginnertriathlete.com. I got a slap on the wrist and a sweet but stern talking to for using a bike I hadn't ridden in three years. In one recent blog, I had a woman email me and tell me I was her inspiration. She was large and "in charge" but never thought she could do a triathlon. She completed her first sprint a few weeks ago and now she's a junkie. Wow!! Blogland is an amazing place.

In these days that have not included training, I have read and read and read. Books, blogs and emails. I had the pleasure during The Nation's Triathlon to meet Brian Boyle aka IronHeart (check out his story at : http://brianboyle.wordpress.com/) Even more inspiration from a man who met death head on and decided to use Ironman to celebrate life.

With just 49 days until Ironman, maybe this is God's way of getting my head on straight. You can learn so much from so many here in Blogland....so to TriMommy, Ryan who needs supervision, Coach Beth, IronMissy, IronBob (Uncle Bob), RBR, the Athena Diaries, NZ Tri Chick and dozens more...thank you for your wisdom.

A day to recharge

Sometimes you just need a day off...or a couple. After a chat with Hector, he gave me a day to recoup and relax a bit. Today I am doing some fun things : putting new plants in my yard, doing a little clothes shopping and getting my nails redone. I think mentally, I just needed the day.

Tomorrow, I am going to do my long run. I woke up this morning and felt just so tired and yucky. My legs continue to ache from the one workout Hector and I did and he determined I am just worn out from the traveling, working and training.

Im very excited about my day. I haven't had a Saturday like this in a long time!! Ill even upload some photos of my flowers when Im done...

Its the little things in life that can make you happy. Triathlon is a hobby and its not all suppose to be serious! Its suppose to be fun!! I think I just need a day to refocus on that fact.

Don't give up on me friends...I haven't fallen into a pity of despair!! Just a little tired...but getting ready for the challenges ahead!

"Snap out of it"

One of my favorite movies is "Moonstruck" with Nicolas Cage and Cher. A favorite scene in the movie is Cher slapping Cage across the face and yelling "Snap out of it".

That's kinda what I needed this week.

I got a case of the blahs. This usually happens after the build up for a significant race. Once the race is over, you're bummed. This thing you have been looking forward to has past and you miss the building excitement prior to the event. I was VERY excited about doing The Nation's Triathlon because of the beautiful venue and the significance of racing in our Nation's Capital. Call me old fashioned, but I am very patriotic!

Now that I look back at the race, I had fun with my teammates even if I did not perform to the best of my ability. Even professionals have bad days but this race was beautiful and soul stirring. How many times in your life can you honestly say that you shut down the city of Washington and had the roads to yourself. Flying on a bike down a tree lined parkway with the capitol looming in the background is an unbelievable experience.

I believe the other reason I am struggling after my return from Washington is that I am battling off a cold. I lost my voice in D.C. and I thought it was because I screamed and yelled so much. Over the last few days, I have been feeling yucky. NO fever or stuff like that so I don't think its the flu...just a cold in my nose!!

I worked out with Hector yesterday. A 90 minute run that was epic for that simple reason...it was 90 minutes of running with only 3 break minutes. I know that sound so novice to most but for me its huge. Running is just not my strong suit but the longer I can run the marathon...the better chance I have at finishing in under 17 hours.

My legs ache a bit. This weekend includes a huge run of 18 miles so my workouts this week have been very short. I have slept a lot trying to battle off this cold. I just feel like I am in a weird place right now just a few weeks from my Half and Full Ironman.

I was driving back from the airport tonight as I dropped off my husband and the sky above the highway was illuminated with light filtering through the clouds. It was breathtaking and this is when I knew I really needed to just "snap out of it". Life is so good and this is small stuff. I am so blessed with ability. I need to go out and show the world that this is possible.

The Nation's Triathlon

Finally! A Race!! There are quite a few triathletes who will train all year for one race. There are others, like me, who would race every weekend if time and finances would allow. It has been since May since I have been in a race and I really have looked forward to this one.

The Nation's Triathlon is one of the largest triathlons in the US. With 6000 participants signed up, I arrived in Washington to find a transition area that looked like the "south forty". Just to give you an idea, my bike was at the end of row 38...and there were at least 42 rows in transition. This transition area was in the West Potomac Park and stretched 3 city blocks.

I traveled to the race with the Central Florida Chapter of Team in Training. 11 athletes total on our team with many newbies doing their first ever triathlon. I was so proud of them. All finished. All did well. All followed the rules and were not like SOME triathletes that did stupid things like ride in the middle of the road three abreast, swim the wrong direction on the course (yes, I saw this over the weekend), and ask if they really needed nutrition on a 26 mile bike course. Our team was sharp and well trained. I tip my hat to Coach Clint Carbonneau-an Ironman triathlete who coached his athletes to act like this was their 50th triathlon instead of their first.

For me, it was my 49th outing on a tri course. I went to Washington with the visions of a PR dancing in my head. The weather was cool and perfect. Since I had to ship a bike, I decided to keep the Cervelo at home and ship my road bike. This was a major error on my part as my bike was almost 20 minutes slower than St. Anthony's. The course was also hillier than I expected.

As I approached a hairpin turn and proceeded to climb uphill back towards our nation's capitol, I made a stupid move. I came out of my clip on the left hand side. When I went to clip back in, I got the pedal caught behind my foot and pulled my shoe and sock almost completely off. In the process of untangling the mess, the pedal scraped most of the skin off the back of my heel. At first I didn't feel it but then...sweat got to the wound and OH MY...I definitely could feel it.

At transition, I assessed the damage. I didn't think it was a big deal so I continued. By mile 3 of the run, I couldn't get the stupid injury to stop bleeding. I ran into a rest room and stuffed toliet paper in my shoe. By mile 4, I had gone to a walk because I started to think I had really done something bad that might require stitches.

I finished the race and I as I approached the finish line, I saw my entire team waiting for me. Ever single one had not left to go to the comfort of their hotel but had waited for me. Tears welled up in my eyes. I was touched and embarassed. Here is the "future Ironman" limping to the finish in an Olympic race. They ran with me as far as they could and then I crossed.

I finished. I PR'ed the swim. I struggled through the bike and limped through the run. Is this REALLY an Ironman in training doing this??

I celebrated with my teammates but deep down, I started doubting my abilities. I shipped a bike to Washington I had not ridden in 3 years. I felt like a whole new set of muscle groups were at work during the bike and I had no power at all. I couldn't get into aero on this road bike because the geometry was so different than my Cervelo. I let one little injury play with my head as I was concerned that I might do damage if I pushed it.

So many excuses...so little time left to Ironman. I have had a little pity party since I have been home but now I need to SNAP OUT OF IT!! Not ever race is going to be perfect. Not ever attempt is going to go well. I really need to learn how to overcome issues on the course and push past them. I could have done so much better at this race.

To my team....congrats. You guys kicked some SERIOUS asphalt. Thank you for waiting for me...you guys are just amazing!!

Onward to the Atlantic Coast Triathlon at Amelia Island-a Half Ironman on October 3rd. I am going to right all the wrongs on that day!!