Well...its been awhile...a little over two months...but Im happy to say that I haven't written here because Ive been busy...on the road...in the water...and on my feet...
Ive been building ME...this is the Me that has doubted my ability to do Ironman. This is the ME that doubts herself A LOT. This is the ME that stands on a start line and thinks..."Do I listen to my head...or my heart."
I now listen to my heart a lot more.
I did the Princess Half Marathon at Walt Disney World with some of my dearest friends...one a breast cancer survivor doing her first half marathon..and others who have completed multiple half marathons...and my brother in law who has a talent to complete 13 miles in 90 minutes. I stood on that start line and thought...."just go with it Melissa...just have fun." As fate would have it, my GPS would not function and I could not focus on my pace. I had to run by feel...and it forces me to focus on something other than...the numbers.
By mile 10...I realized that if I pushed, I could have a PR...but my main goal is to do well at the Gulf Coast Triathlon in May. This race was about being able to enjoy the moment. So I took it easy. For the first time in all my Disney races, I took pictures with the characters and enjoyed the sights and sounds that are Disney. I know a lot of runners don't like Disney races but since I am a cast member, I am proud of my place of employment. As we entered mile 12 and Epcot, we entered the gate where I work at the Living Seas...and it hit me. My life is so different then 13 years ago. I am doing things and experiencing things that would never have been possible without comforting my eating disorder and making a change for the good.
As I crossed the finish line, I did the same thing I do every time...I pointed to heaven and reminded the world that I was in this place and this moment because God has a plan...and I may not understand it (especially when I miss the cut off at Ironman) but Im trying to follow along and learn what I need to learn. I waited in the finish area for my friend and new running fanatic, Martha Centeno, to finish. She crossed the line with lots of emotion...but can you blame her...look at what she has accomplished...fighting and beating cancer, losing 30 pounds and finishing her first half marathon. A big congrats to her.
So consider this my check in...Im doing great...Im staying focused...I determined to finish the Ironman in just a few months...but more importantly...Ill be the best ME as I stand on the beach in Panama City for one more crack at the beast!!!