Each year, I put together the "dream race list" which Hector, my trainer, proceeds to tear apart
and give me what he thinks I should and can do. So far, this is THE dream list!!
November 2009
26 Nov 2009 Turkey Trot 5k
29 Nov 2009 Space Coast Half Marathon
December 2009
12 Dec 2009 Reindeer Run 5k
January 2010
09 Jan 2010 Disney Half Marathon
10 Jan 2010 Disney Marathon
Yes...for some reason...I signed up for the Goofy Challenge...AGAIN
31 Jan 2010 ING Miami Half Marathon
February 2010
19 Feb 2010 Sara McLarty's Swim Camp-NTC-Clermont
28 Feb 2010 Gasparilla Half Marathon-Tampa
March 2010
05 March 2010 Princess Half Marathon-Disney
14 March 2010 MIT International Distance Triathlon
27 March 2010 Great Clermont Triathlon-Olympic or Sprint
April 2010
10 April 2010 Escape from Fort Desoto Tri-Tampa Bay Area Sprint Distance
11 April 2010 SuperFrog-US Navy Seal-Olympic Tri-Coronado CA
17 April 2010 Swim Miami-Open Water 5k or 10k swim-Miami FL
18 April 2010 Breakaway to Sugarloaf Bike-Clermont
May 2010
08 MAY 2010 GULF COAST TRIATHLON (A race)
23 May 2010 Baldwin Park Triathlon
June 2010
June 7 2010 The World's Most Beautiful Ride-Lake Tahoe-Century Bike
June 26, 2010 Rock n Roll Marathon-Seattle WA
July 2010
17 July 2010 Moss Park Triathlon
August 2010
29 August 2010 Alcatraz Triathlon-San Francisco CA
Sept 2010
05 Sept 2010 Rock n Roll Virginia Beach Half Marathon
12 Sept 2010 The Nation's Triathlon Wash. DC
October 2010
01 Oct 2010 Disney Wine and Dine Half Marathon
17 Oct 2010 Ameliaman Olympic Distance Triathlon or Half Ironman Triathlon
30 Oct 2010 Ironman 70.3 Miami-Run as a Relay or run individually...still not sure..
November 2010
Volunteer at Ironman Florida
Volunteer at Ironman Arizona
This year will be focused on weight loss and the Half Ironman Distance until May and the Gulf Coast Triathlon. After that race, depending on how I do and how much weight I have lost at that point, I will make a determination about the way the rest of the year will go :) Please feel free to give me other ideas about races not listed or comment on the races listed here :)
Thursday, November 19, 2009
A Card and a letter from people I don't know...
Blogging is pretty amazing!! I have had the honor and privilege of exchanging emails with people I have never met. Some ask me about triathlon, others ask me about what it was like to have a gastric bypass before it was approved and how I feel now while others ask me about my eating issues. I love these emails. So many people out in the cyber world who connect with some of the things I write...you guys are amazing folks!!
But what I DIDN'T expect was snail mail...from people I have never met. I have lived in the same place for almost 17 years so its not shocking that someone found my address. I opened my mail today to find a beautiful card from a woman in Idaho...it read:
Melissa...
No matter what they say...no matter what they do....BE YOU! You have inspired me so much in 2 years. I have gone from 300lbs to 125 thanks to a gastric bypass. Last weekend, I ran my first 5k..and I was exhausted. I thought to myself "How in the world can you do what you do...." Even the Half Ironman distance astonishes me. Please don't quit. You have a world of people cheering you on for your success...
Much love from Idaho....Amanda
And in the same mail...a letter...beautifully written on gorgeous paper from a woman in Texas...
Melissa...
You do not know me, my family or my life but you have made a huge impact in the way I think about goals. I read
your blog and I just had to send you something more than email. To me, the written word is so personal and I wanted
to share my thoughts somewhat "in person" with you.
3 years ago, I had a heart attack at 35. Doctors didn't give me any hope. They told me at 35 and 295lbs, things looked bad.
I decided to take a chance and get a gastric band. I followed my doctor's orders to the letter. I watched what I ate and
I started to exercise. I stumbled upon your blog when I searched for information about eating disorders and gastric banding
or bypass and there you were: going through a lot of the things I was experiencing.
I spent the last few weeks watching your blog and praying for your success. I cried when I read you did not achieve this goal that was so important to you but then I was inspired by your determination. You need to write a book.
I hope this letter finds you well and you will continue forward toward your dreams, whatever they may be. Keep writing, keep the positive thoughts and encouragement in your life and I know, without a doubt, that you will achieve all you hope for in your life.
I am now 38, 170lbs and in fairly good shape for the shape I am in. Thank you for helping me through the rough spots of my weight loss and my eating problems. You are an amazing lady.
Susan
And this is a rare moment folks...I am without words....I am speechless. For those that know me personally, they can tell you I always have a comment....here I do not. All I have are tears. Thank you Susan. Thank you Amanda. To anyone else that reads this...thank you. I am overwhelmed.
But what I DIDN'T expect was snail mail...from people I have never met. I have lived in the same place for almost 17 years so its not shocking that someone found my address. I opened my mail today to find a beautiful card from a woman in Idaho...it read:
Melissa...
No matter what they say...no matter what they do....BE YOU! You have inspired me so much in 2 years. I have gone from 300lbs to 125 thanks to a gastric bypass. Last weekend, I ran my first 5k..and I was exhausted. I thought to myself "How in the world can you do what you do...." Even the Half Ironman distance astonishes me. Please don't quit. You have a world of people cheering you on for your success...
Much love from Idaho....Amanda
And in the same mail...a letter...beautifully written on gorgeous paper from a woman in Texas...
Melissa...
You do not know me, my family or my life but you have made a huge impact in the way I think about goals. I read
your blog and I just had to send you something more than email. To me, the written word is so personal and I wanted
to share my thoughts somewhat "in person" with you.
3 years ago, I had a heart attack at 35. Doctors didn't give me any hope. They told me at 35 and 295lbs, things looked bad.
I decided to take a chance and get a gastric band. I followed my doctor's orders to the letter. I watched what I ate and
I started to exercise. I stumbled upon your blog when I searched for information about eating disorders and gastric banding
or bypass and there you were: going through a lot of the things I was experiencing.
I spent the last few weeks watching your blog and praying for your success. I cried when I read you did not achieve this goal that was so important to you but then I was inspired by your determination. You need to write a book.
I hope this letter finds you well and you will continue forward toward your dreams, whatever they may be. Keep writing, keep the positive thoughts and encouragement in your life and I know, without a doubt, that you will achieve all you hope for in your life.
I am now 38, 170lbs and in fairly good shape for the shape I am in. Thank you for helping me through the rough spots of my weight loss and my eating problems. You are an amazing lady.
Susan
And this is a rare moment folks...I am without words....I am speechless. For those that know me personally, they can tell you I always have a comment....here I do not. All I have are tears. Thank you Susan. Thank you Amanda. To anyone else that reads this...thank you. I am overwhelmed.
Monday, November 16, 2009
The Journey...The Climb...The Addiction...The Line...
"You're an addict! " I heard one girl say to me in my meeting tonight. "You're addicted to food and exercise..." she said to me as if she were the 12 year old bully on the playground that I didn't give the time of day to as a child.
Ahhh the judgemental portion of our human race is so quick to become judge, jury and executioner. I just smiled and said "And you are entitled to your opinion...but I don't have to react to it, believe it or let it effect who I am." The leader of the group saw this person getting a little out of control. Later I was to learn she had a shot at being a collegiate runner...and her addiction destroyed her chances. Eating disorders are tough...they can rob you of your dreams.
You're an addict Melissa. Yup! No kidding. Took me a long time to admit I had a problem with food. The lines like "Oh I just like to eat" or "Its just stress...Ill lose the weight gain when my life calms down" came way to easy to explain my issues...but yeah..she's right. I gotta problem.
Ive had a problem since I was 12. I am now considered a recovering compulsive overeater. I walk the line and sometimes I stumble. As long as you get back up and get back to the good eating habits, its ok. You won't be perfect....but you can be consistent.
So today I started on a very long road of consistent behavior. This is the first honest sincere attempt I have made to get the last 30 to 40 lbs off my frame in several years. I have half heartedly started program to provide some "damage control" to my "stumbling problem" but never before has so much rested on my consistency in eating and weight loss. My husband was right. Just tell Melissa its impossible and watch her do all she can to prove you wrong. Just dangle that goal in front of her and she is like a horse to the carrot. God I want that carrot known as Ironman...I really really do.
I looked at the pictures from Ironman and I cringed. It still hurts a bit to know that that damn line escaped me again. I do feel a difference in me now as compared to last year. Last year the experience almost lead me to giving up the sport all together. This year, my DNF made me more determined.
For some, this goal is easy. Train, race, cross the line. For me, its been a journey like no other....and damn it...Im gonna finish it somehow.
Watching my footing as I climb...and stumble to that weight loss goal....as always..Ill keep you posted.
Ahhh the judgemental portion of our human race is so quick to become judge, jury and executioner. I just smiled and said "And you are entitled to your opinion...but I don't have to react to it, believe it or let it effect who I am." The leader of the group saw this person getting a little out of control. Later I was to learn she had a shot at being a collegiate runner...and her addiction destroyed her chances. Eating disorders are tough...they can rob you of your dreams.
You're an addict Melissa. Yup! No kidding. Took me a long time to admit I had a problem with food. The lines like "Oh I just like to eat" or "Its just stress...Ill lose the weight gain when my life calms down" came way to easy to explain my issues...but yeah..she's right. I gotta problem.
Ive had a problem since I was 12. I am now considered a recovering compulsive overeater. I walk the line and sometimes I stumble. As long as you get back up and get back to the good eating habits, its ok. You won't be perfect....but you can be consistent.
So today I started on a very long road of consistent behavior. This is the first honest sincere attempt I have made to get the last 30 to 40 lbs off my frame in several years. I have half heartedly started program to provide some "damage control" to my "stumbling problem" but never before has so much rested on my consistency in eating and weight loss. My husband was right. Just tell Melissa its impossible and watch her do all she can to prove you wrong. Just dangle that goal in front of her and she is like a horse to the carrot. God I want that carrot known as Ironman...I really really do.
I looked at the pictures from Ironman and I cringed. It still hurts a bit to know that that damn line escaped me again. I do feel a difference in me now as compared to last year. Last year the experience almost lead me to giving up the sport all together. This year, my DNF made me more determined.
For some, this goal is easy. Train, race, cross the line. For me, its been a journey like no other....and damn it...Im gonna finish it somehow.
Watching my footing as I climb...and stumble to that weight loss goal....as always..Ill keep you posted.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
What we will do for a dream...
It feels insanely weird to be home...and to wake up at a normal hour and not be headed off to go swim, bike or run. My trainer told me to take about 10 days off and let my mind, emotions and body have a rest. My hubby and I were suppose to go to Paris a few days ago (gosh its fun to be married to an airline pilot...you just go to the airport and see what flight you can get on) but the weather there has been horrible. We decided, instead for a few days in South Florida and a short cruise.
We went shopping yesterday for a few clothes and as I walked in to our favorite mall, I realized that it had been ages since I spent a day to go shopping. Wow, how wonderful it was to have lunch, look around, try on clothes and buy a new outfit. "Welcome back to the real world honey" my husband told me.
The real world is really nice...but I ache a little inside for that soreness in the legs from a long workout or the feeling of that afternoon nap after a long workout on a Saturday morning. As the off season comes on and the holidays arrive, in the back of my mind sits the vision of that finish line. More unfinished business.
I went to my doctor early yesterday and I told him I had had enough. I have GOT to get a grip on my weight and somehow make it through the holidays without putting on 20lbs. He referred me IMMEDIATELY to physician who specializes in obesity weight loss and nutrition. She actually took me that morning (guess its a slow time before "new year's resolutions) and I told her that I have done everything I could to lose weight and about my thyroid issues. I also told her that I was losing hope that I would ever be smaller than this. I don't want to give up on my dream....but losing more weight seems almost as difficult than making the cut offs at Ironman.
She was EXTREMELY kind. She spent 45 minutes with me discussing options. I told her I was suppose to be on vacation now but I am ready to get to work next Monday. I want that sense of hope to return to me. I want that feeling that all is possible. She told me that she would do all she could to help me, monitor me and keep me on track. She did a full panel of bloodwork, gave me an eating program to follow, changed my thyroid medication (again) and made another appointment 7 days after I start and she will see me weekly. She also recommended that I return to OA (Overeater's Annoymous) meetings on a weekly basis and go back to seeing my therapist.
She equated it to racing. She told me that if I spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on a bike, shoes, clothes and other gear to get to the Ironman finish line, why wouldn't I do the same to make me well, healthy and happy. She told me I had come this far, that it was time to complete the job.
One more diet. I get so motivated for one more diet and I usually fall on my face and fail. How do I NOT do that this time? My husband thinks that dangling that Ironman medal before me just might be the thing that finally gets me to my goal weight.
Can I really do this??
We went shopping yesterday for a few clothes and as I walked in to our favorite mall, I realized that it had been ages since I spent a day to go shopping. Wow, how wonderful it was to have lunch, look around, try on clothes and buy a new outfit. "Welcome back to the real world honey" my husband told me.
The real world is really nice...but I ache a little inside for that soreness in the legs from a long workout or the feeling of that afternoon nap after a long workout on a Saturday morning. As the off season comes on and the holidays arrive, in the back of my mind sits the vision of that finish line. More unfinished business.
I went to my doctor early yesterday and I told him I had had enough. I have GOT to get a grip on my weight and somehow make it through the holidays without putting on 20lbs. He referred me IMMEDIATELY to physician who specializes in obesity weight loss and nutrition. She actually took me that morning (guess its a slow time before "new year's resolutions) and I told her that I have done everything I could to lose weight and about my thyroid issues. I also told her that I was losing hope that I would ever be smaller than this. I don't want to give up on my dream....but losing more weight seems almost as difficult than making the cut offs at Ironman.
She was EXTREMELY kind. She spent 45 minutes with me discussing options. I told her I was suppose to be on vacation now but I am ready to get to work next Monday. I want that sense of hope to return to me. I want that feeling that all is possible. She told me that she would do all she could to help me, monitor me and keep me on track. She did a full panel of bloodwork, gave me an eating program to follow, changed my thyroid medication (again) and made another appointment 7 days after I start and she will see me weekly. She also recommended that I return to OA (Overeater's Annoymous) meetings on a weekly basis and go back to seeing my therapist.
She equated it to racing. She told me that if I spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on a bike, shoes, clothes and other gear to get to the Ironman finish line, why wouldn't I do the same to make me well, healthy and happy. She told me I had come this far, that it was time to complete the job.
One more diet. I get so motivated for one more diet and I usually fall on my face and fail. How do I NOT do that this time? My husband thinks that dangling that Ironman medal before me just might be the thing that finally gets me to my goal weight.
Can I really do this??
Sunday, November 8, 2009
The third time is the charm...
We learn wisdom from failure more than from success; we often discover what will do by finding out what will not do.
- Samuel Smiles
I think one of the hardest things for a person to do is to admit when they have reached a roadblock that they can not cross unless some things are changed. Today, I met that roadblock head on when I did not complete my Ironman.
Some will view me as a failure. Some will tell me I am simply too old to be doing this (Im 46). My parents told me tonight that this was "utterly ridiculous" and a "man's sport" and I had no business doing it. Others saw my attempt as brave and powerful and a move to celebrate being a lighter, healthier person than I was 11 years ago.
I won't lie. It hurt more to have my parents tell me those things than it did for them to remove my chip when I did not make the biking time cut off. When you ride 112 miles, you have plenty of time to think. As I turned into a blustery windy course here in Panama City, i knew the bike course would be a challenge. I did my best. It was not enough.
When failure comes, you must sit back and analyse why. In my belief, you also have to sit back and figure out what you have learned from this and what is my higher power's plan for me?
I learned so much this year. I pushed my body to places I never dreamed possible. I believe I became a more mentally strong individual. So many positives came from this even though I am not an Ironman.
The one thing I know for an absolute fact is that I MUST lose some more weight if I am to attempt Ironman again. People are kinda shocked when i talk about being lighter and my obesity but its kinda like my favorite author, Randy Pausch talking about his cancer before he past away. He would always say "Let me introduce you to the "elephant" in the room" You know everyone is whispering about my cancer, so lets talk about it so you understand where the cancer patient is coming from.
So the compulsive overeating gastric bypass patient KNOWS that most people look at me and go "there is no way that will happen"...and today they were right. Today was not my day. I know now what my limits are and I know what needs to be accomplished to achieve them. I have some work to do and I head into that work unafraid.
Let them talk if they want. Let them laugh if they will. Lots of people laugh at those who put it out there and fail but i refuse to be swayed. The one thing my parents DID raise is a fighter. I plan to get some more work done and come back one more time to attempt this race....but not until 2011. This will give me time to complete those intermediate goals.
The third time is the charm....
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Race Day..
Good morning....its 407am and its time to get it done!! Windy but pretty....I will keep you posted!!! My prayer is in 19 hours I will be logging on and saying that I am an Ironman!!! As always...Ill keep you posted!!! Pray for me folks...now its time to just perform!!!
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Like my Daddy says...
Its time to put up....or shut up...
Lots of talk. Lots of blood, sweat and tears in the last 24 months. Two DNF's and two P.R.'s. Lots and lots of ups and downs...but now it comes down to the simple truth....its time to DO...
That "bank account" Ive been filling with hours and hours of swims, bikes and runs is waiting for one withdrawal on Nov. 7th. I honestly believe with all my heart that I have done everything that this body could do to get prepared for this race. I take comfort in that knowledge. I no longer sit up at night worrying about the race. Its very simple. I either believe in myself and leave ALL OF IT on the course...or I don't.
The pendulum is swinging back to the positive for me. More and more I see myself crossing that finish line with time to spare. I have had a few dreams now of that moment...and the negative thoughts have started to depart my head.
I sat outside on my pool deck the other night and had a long talk with the guy upstairs. I got this calmness over me that felt like I should know that it would all be ok. I guess I have truly put this race into his hands now. Im just going to go out there and put my heart and soul and body into it.
Bags are packed. I just have to load the car in the morning, finish morning boot camp classes and then myself and my training partner, Rick, will be on the road at 930am. Let the adventure begin!! As always, Ill keep you posted!!
Lots of talk. Lots of blood, sweat and tears in the last 24 months. Two DNF's and two P.R.'s. Lots and lots of ups and downs...but now it comes down to the simple truth....its time to DO...
That "bank account" Ive been filling with hours and hours of swims, bikes and runs is waiting for one withdrawal on Nov. 7th. I honestly believe with all my heart that I have done everything that this body could do to get prepared for this race. I take comfort in that knowledge. I no longer sit up at night worrying about the race. Its very simple. I either believe in myself and leave ALL OF IT on the course...or I don't.
The pendulum is swinging back to the positive for me. More and more I see myself crossing that finish line with time to spare. I have had a few dreams now of that moment...and the negative thoughts have started to depart my head.
I sat outside on my pool deck the other night and had a long talk with the guy upstairs. I got this calmness over me that felt like I should know that it would all be ok. I guess I have truly put this race into his hands now. Im just going to go out there and put my heart and soul and body into it.
Bags are packed. I just have to load the car in the morning, finish morning boot camp classes and then myself and my training partner, Rick, will be on the road at 930am. Let the adventure begin!! As always, Ill keep you posted!!
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