You gotta own it...

It's the moments when no one is looking that makes you who you are. I am a firm believer in that. Everyone remembers the moment of crossing the finish line at Ironman...many are there to cheer and scream...but what A LOT of people don't understand is that, it isn't that moment that makes you an Ironman...its the times that people don't see that does.

I had a moment like that today...fighting the wind...cursing the air moving about me as I made it through my first LONG bike ride (50 miles) of this Ironman season. And when I say I CURSED...Im not lying. If you had pasted me on the road, you would have had me committed. The first 20 miles...no sweat. The next 10...well...I felt it...the last miles to the goal...they were Hell. My quads and hamstrings hurt and then it hit me...its been awhile since I went this far. Ive been enjoying those 20 to 25 mile bike workouts throughout 2010 that got me through Olympic Distance races. You lose fitness over time...and I have lost that endurance that I had in 2009...

But it doesn't mean I can't get it back..

So you got to own your limitations....you gotta believe you can be better....and you gotta have the guts to reach down and continue when it hurts....and when no one is cheering you on..

Train Hard...Race Easy....and keep the vision of that Ironman finish in the forefront of your mind

The Princess Half Marathon and creating the new ME

Well...its been awhile...a little over two months...but Im happy to say that I haven't written here because Ive been busy...on the road...in the water...and on my feet...

Ive been building ME...this is the Me that has doubted my ability to do Ironman. This is the ME that doubts herself A LOT. This is the ME that stands on a start line and thinks..."Do I listen to my head...or my heart."

I now listen to my heart a lot more.

I did the Princess Half Marathon at Walt Disney World with some of my dearest friends...one a breast cancer survivor doing her first half marathon..and others who have completed multiple half marathons...and my brother in law who has a talent to complete 13 miles in 90 minutes. I stood on that start line and thought...."just go with it Melissa...just have fun." As fate would have it, my GPS would not function and I could not focus on my pace. I had to run by feel...and it forces me to focus on something other than...the numbers.

By mile 10...I realized that if I pushed, I could have a PR...but my main goal is to do well at the Gulf Coast Triathlon in May. This race was about being able to enjoy the moment. So I took it easy. For the first time in all my Disney races, I took pictures with the characters and enjoyed the sights and sounds that are Disney. I know a lot of runners don't like Disney races but since I am a cast member, I am proud of my place of employment. As we entered mile 12 and Epcot, we entered the gate where I work at the Living Seas...and it hit me. My life is so different then 13 years ago. I am doing things and experiencing things that would never have been possible without comforting my eating disorder and making a change for the good.

As I crossed the finish line, I did the same thing I do every time...I pointed to heaven and reminded the world that I was in this place and this moment because God has a plan...and I may not understand it (especially when I miss the cut off at Ironman) but Im trying to follow along and learn what I need to learn. I waited in the finish area for my friend and new running fanatic, Martha Centeno, to finish. She crossed the line with lots of emotion...but can you blame her...look at what she has accomplished...fighting and beating cancer, losing 30 pounds and finishing her first half marathon. A big congrats to her.

So consider this my check in...Im doing great...Im staying focused...I determined to finish the Ironman in just a few months...but more importantly...Ill be the best ME as I stand on the beach in Panama City for one more crack at the beast!!!