Sunday, February 17, 2008

You gotta keep believing...

I haven't written in awhile.  Its so easy to write when things are going well and you are excited about your world and your experiences.  It is difficult to write when things are a little rough.

Lance Armstrong said "I take NOTHING for granted...I now only have good days...and great days".  I loved this sentiment so much that I bought the shirt with it on it.  There are times when every athlete struggles..

This is one of those times.

A wonderful Team in Training honoree and Mentor lost her battle against Leukemia and I just couldn't bring myself to attend her services even though she touched my life in a very positive way.  As I heard the news that she was losing her battle, it flooded my mind and my emotions of the battle that Christian waged against this disease .. and lost.  It made me PISSED that we are again losing a precious soul to this insidious disease and I was angry at myself that I was a coward and didn't attend her memorial.  This weakness needs to be addressed somehow.

My good friend Rick has purchased a new home in Orlando 3 years after the death of his son, Christian,  and 5 years after the start of our Boot Camp business together.  Although I am thrilled and excited to have him as a neighbor, I  agreed to help him pack up, sort through all his belongings, have a MASSIVE Garage Sale (which was yesterday) and .. most importantly, take apart Christian's room and help him sell some of his precious Star Wars toys and collectibles that have been there since he died.  It has been a very emotional time watching my dearest friend relive some special moments in the house he is now leaving.  I never would have thought that being in Christian's room and being around that house would spark so much emotion...but it has..and it has been very hard.  Christian was my Godson....but since I don't have any children, my godchildren are very special to me.

Along with this , is the renovation of my home gym that was suppose to take 2 to 3 weeks that has now taken almost 2 months.  Between backordered doors, broken wall glass, and beams that required reenforcement, the task of adding room and light to my dark and depressing workout room has taken on stress of its own.  We had planned on having the floors refinished in the house after the room was done so that project will not start for at least another two we are looking at the end of March before we are back to normal.  Its a small thing but can "upset your apple cart" a little bit.

On top of all that...I washed my cellphone. gotta laugh at this one right?? How many of you have done the same?? Come on...admit it!!  You have either dropped your phone in the toliet, washed it in the back pocket of your jeans or destroyed it in some creative way!!  That insurance that you take out on the phone, thats a load of *&#@!!! I needed my phone back in working order like...NOW...not in a couple of days when they could MAIL the thing to me!!  So, after redoing my contract, I got a reasonably priced phone and got back to business.

With all this said...I guess I am looking for the excuses of why I am not excited about working out and why my workouts are so hard.  I have felt myself losing focus on my dream and the thought of quitting the quest has lurked in the back of my mind.  After days of working my butt off with very little sleep, I took a day for me.  I got a massage and a pedicure.  I slept in (for me that 715am instead of 400am) and sat down in a comfy chair and pulled out a DVD of the last Ironman World Championships....and....its amazing how clarity and focus can come back in the midst of the storm.  I remember why I am on this journey....I remember the dream that has been so important to me...I remember why I get up early and why I swim, bike and run for hours.....I remember now...<

So tomorrow, when I get up to go work boot camp, I will remember that I am blessed.  I am blessed with the ability to get out of bed and participate in a sport that is so amazing.  I will remember that there are families out there who are waging a battle much bigger than this journey.  I will remember that cellphones can be replaced, that patience in the face of backorders and construction delays is a virtue...and most of all...I will remember that I AM AN least in my heart I am!

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