I have 18 weeks left to check my attitude and ego at the door. What I have found in the last few months is that I am a procrastinator. I like to wait til the alarm bells are sounding before I try to avert the emergency. As my dear friend and training partner, Beth, so eloquently put it : "You can pull a 1/2 marathon out of your hat (ok .. she didn't say hat but you get the idea).. but you can't pull an Ironman out the same way. This journey requires work, dedication, focus and a belief system that is only developed over time. Im starting to GET that. Im starting to understand that this journey is changing me in alot of positive ways. Most of them are mental.
Alot of people know that I have battled compulsive overeating since childhood. I mean, hey, you don't get to 380lbs by eating carrots and lettuce. You DO get there using food as comfort . It has taken me alot of years to get where this behavior is under some control and training for this Ironman has helped me realize that this hurdle of weight and eating will finally be overcome if I want to complete this Ironman in 17 hours. It will require me getting my nutrition in a good place in the next 18 weeks, dropping a safe amount of weight and being consistent with my training. Anything less could spell disaster for my health and my dream of becoming an Ironman.
I had a hard swim workout with Hector today. I also had a heart to heart "tough love" talk that a caring and brave coach doesn't really like to have but knows it is necessary. There is no more time to waste. If this goal is really in my heart and soul, now is the time to cut the crap and get it done. No more whining, no more excuses, no more "well Ill just have one more "bad meal". The time is now.
I do believe I will complete this race. Its the first time I have really said that and meant it. I also understand that I am going to have to stay focused for 18 more weeks of my life to achieve this life goal.