This course is starting to haunt me and I feel more and more that this whole ironman journey might be a mistake. There have been so many trainers in the past that have told me that it wasn't possible for someone my size to complete this race. Since those times, I have lost another 45 lbs (with a total of a little over 200lbs lost now) and I am doing more miles and more hours of workout than I ever have before. I get the phone call last night from my coach that he is concerned I will hurt myself. Why didn't he make this decision several weeks ago instead of 48 hours before I leave?
I am tired. I am frustrated. I am sad. Maybe this whole thing is just a ridiculous dream. Im going to go anyway just so I can fail one more time.