Tuesday, June 2, 2009

Tough time finding words...

Its been awhile since I updated my blog. It's not that I hare forgotten how important it is to document this journey but simply difficult to find the right words. I am searching for the proper words to describe my feelings right now and they are indescribable.

I searched for a quote...none seemed appropriate. I looked at other blogs to get an idea of what might be a good topic...that just felt like plagiarism. Right now...I am in a strange place. I can feel myself climbing up that mountain known as endurance. Im definitely not at the peak but Im not at the point that every workout leaves me totally spent. I HAVE made some progress. Is it enough progress for Nov. 7th? Only time will tell.

I got the 30th Anniversary Ironman World Championship DVD in the mail a few days ago. If you enter the Kona lottery, you get one of these DVD's for your time and trouble (but no Kona slot). It sat on my desk for a day or so but finally, I just had to watch it.

There were many images on that DVD that stuck in my mind as I rode the trainer this morning and listen to Hector lead the class but the main vision in my head was of Chrissie Wellington on the bike. To watch her ride is a vision of perfect athletic performance: Speed, Power, Posture and...a smile. To watch her run is a thing of beauty! Why is it the good ones always smile like there is not any pain involved....but you know there has to be.

I will never have that kind of talent, but for a moment in my mind this morning, I had those legs. I went as hard and as fast as I could in the sprints. I was the first out the door on the run....(and every single person past me as they always do)...but that mental picture of sheer perfection stuck with me and motivated me for those two hours.

Then it was those with physically challenges that motivate me even more. The men and women who race in a wheelchair or with a prosthetic leg never cease to amaze me. I know in my heart that if they can do this...I CAN DO THIS. Their images floated in my head as I ran and pushed myself a little harder today.

I know its crunch time. There is no more "ohhh the Ironman is a year away". Nope...now its serious. Put up or shut up!


IronBob said...

Last year at IMAZ I shook the hand of the only wheelchair participant at the swim start, since I knew he had to achieve 140 miles with just upper body that we are lucky enough to do with both upper and lower.

When he passed me on the bike, I just smiled. What an inspiration as he kicked my butt.

Keeps you motivated and going.

Keep watching those tapes, they can be truly inspirational.

Lani said...

Girlfriend, it comes down to this, you believe in yourself. You have overcome so many obstacles in your life and made lemonade out the lemons life has continued to deal you. Your doubts are just more lemons (or if you're tired of lemons try limes). You know in your heart of hearts you want this, you just need to believe that YOU DESERVE it, and you do!

Kelly said...

I just started following your blog...and your words are just right. You completely captured the journey of Ironman today...especially for those of us who will never win, but only finish!! Best of luck on your quest!