Ive determined that life is too short to be depressed. Most of the time I am a very upbeat person with a fiery temper (Im working on that!) Im passionate about life and goals and dreams. Being sad, depressed or offended just doesn't fit into this world of mine.
But lately, I have been kinda down. I feel right now that I am adrift and not as happy as I would like to be. I don't think I could say Im depressed....I guess I could say that I lack direction and am losing focus.
Everyone tells me that I should be excited about a 12 pound weight loss in 3 weeks...but I am not happy with it. I am so tired of being the biggest girl in the room at workouts and being the slowest on the road. I know I am racing against my watch and myself but there are moment that I wish I could really run or bike with a group. I meet up with a group on the weekends but I can't keep pace with them. Everyone is always nice and waits for me to finish...but just once in my life, I wish I would achieve the speed and talent it takes to just be...well...average.
I know. This sounds like a "oh poor is me" post and I really don't want to be like that. I belong to a Tri Club at our YMCA where almost every single woman is lean and strong. I feel like that square peg in a round hole...I just don't fit.
Im not going to quit...thats just not me...but I guess I wonder when I will finally fit in this lean and strong sport that has become my passion....