Thursday, November 12, 2009

What we will do for a dream...

It feels insanely weird to be home...and to wake up at a normal hour and not be headed off to go swim, bike or run. My trainer told me to take about 10 days off and let my mind, emotions and body have a rest. My hubby and I were suppose to go to Paris a few days ago (gosh its fun to be married to an airline just go to the airport and see what flight you can get on) but the weather there has been horrible. We decided, instead for a few days in South Florida and a short cruise.

We went shopping yesterday for a few clothes and as I walked in to our favorite mall, I realized that it had been ages since I spent a day to go shopping. Wow, how wonderful it was to have lunch, look around, try on clothes and buy a new outfit. "Welcome back to the real world honey" my husband told me.

The real world is really nice...but I ache a little inside for that soreness in the legs from a long workout or the feeling of that afternoon nap after a long workout on a Saturday morning. As the off season comes on and the holidays arrive, in the back of my mind sits the vision of that finish line. More unfinished business.

I went to my doctor early yesterday and I told him I had had enough. I have GOT to get a grip on my weight and somehow make it through the holidays without putting on 20lbs. He referred me IMMEDIATELY to physician who specializes in obesity weight loss and nutrition. She actually took me that morning (guess its a slow time before "new year's resolutions) and I told her that I have done everything I could to lose weight and about my thyroid issues. I also told her that I was losing hope that I would ever be smaller than this. I don't want to give up on my dream....but losing more weight seems almost as difficult than making the cut offs at Ironman.

She was EXTREMELY kind. She spent 45 minutes with me discussing options. I told her I was suppose to be on vacation now but I am ready to get to work next Monday. I want that sense of hope to return to me. I want that feeling that all is possible. She told me that she would do all she could to help me, monitor me and keep me on track. She did a full panel of bloodwork, gave me an eating program to follow, changed my thyroid medication (again) and made another appointment 7 days after I start and she will see me weekly. She also recommended that I return to OA (Overeater's Annoymous) meetings on a weekly basis and go back to seeing my therapist.

She equated it to racing. She told me that if I spent hundreds if not thousands of dollars on a bike, shoes, clothes and other gear to get to the Ironman finish line, why wouldn't I do the same to make me well, healthy and happy. She told me I had come this far, that it was time to complete the job.

One more diet. I get so motivated for one more diet and I usually fall on my face and fail. How do I NOT do that this time? My husband thinks that dangling that Ironman medal before me just might be the thing that finally gets me to my goal weight.

Can I really do this??


The Running Girl said...

Yes, you can really do this! I believe you can reach both goals if you set your mind to it. I'll be pulling for you.


SMART!! That is, going to the doc now before the holidays. Nothing worse than waking up Jan. 1 with the added burden (no pun) and remorse of holiday overeating. In my professional opinion (I have a mail order degree, you know), weight is the final hurdle in your crossing that LINE.

Calyx Meredith said...

Yes, you absolutely can do this! You are so strong and you are willing to learn. I'm a brand new weight loss coach - and I see you opening up, questioning and rethinking, learning new strategies and applying them - all the hallmarks that I have been trained to look for in clients that are going to achieve their dreams. Believe in yourself - every single hour of every single day.

Lani said...

You CAN do this, you need to believe in it the same way you believe you will be an Ironman. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, but you will do this. Having been overweight myself, I know how hard the struggle was and is, I also know that you have plenty of gumption to get you wherever you want to go!

Tri Mommy said...

You can do this! The only way I can suggest taking this on is not looking at it as a diet. Look at it as a lifestyle change. You're not wanting to take the pounds off for a few months or to fit into a dress for an occasion, that's what diets are for. This is what you want to do to get the weight off, become and Ironman and keep it off for the rest of your life so that you can be happy and healthy.

But you can definitely do this. I won't be easy, but then as triathletes, do we do anything that is easy???

Anne said...

You CAN do it!

Picture your goals and think positive thoughts -- you have a great support system around you and it sounds like you found a great doctor.

Best of luck, I for one, am rooting for you!

Duane said...

You can do this and you are not too old!