Sunday, August 16, 2009

A life defined...

I learn so much from other people. I think that is why I enjoy reading the words of others. I think you can learn a lot by reading people's thoughts and words. I truly enjoy spending time early in the morning looking at other blogs and seeing the lives that people lead.

Recently, I had a friend decide that doing a Half Ironman was not what would make her happy. She realized that a family was her heart's desire. She made a difficult decision to switch paths to achieve the happiness that she desired so much. As I read her blog, I swear I almost stood up and applauded!! Isn't this what life is about.?

Words, blogs and lives. I have a terrible habit of having a big mouth so A LOT of the time I don't LISTEN when I should. That is why I adore reading blogs about people's lives. It gets around my faulty wiring and gets to the heart and soul of people. If they really open up in their blog, wow!! The things you can learn about life, about yourself and about the special people that God has put into your world.

Lately I have felt like such a failure. I have felt very inferior in a lot of the things that I do. This isn't anything new. I have often felt this way but it has increased recently because, let's face it, being a plus size woman who wants to achieve a goal like Ironman can give you ego a kick in the pants. Ive made a lot of mistakes over the last few months but I have had good friends who have forgiven my mistakes and have been wonderful to me. Like I have said many times before, I am blessed.

Spend 5.5 hours on a bike and you have tons of time to think and contemplate your life. I use to think that I was doing my part for the world around me but I realize there is so much more I can do.

The Ironman helps close a chapter in my life. It is the perfect metaphor for the struggle that I have undergone in the last 11 years to claw my way back to life. The person that walked the face of the earth in 1998 no longer exists. She was sad and depressed and used food to try to make things better. This person in 2009 sees that there is so much to life. This person sees that she will make serious mistakes and errors in judgement and still have friends who care about her. Training has taught me more than I ever dreamed possible. Life is full of endless possibilities!


Jen & Grant said...

I just wanted to say that I found your blog and I enjoy reading it. I am also an "athena" trying to balance triathlons and family life. Like you my ultimate goal is Ironman, but I think I am a few years from achieving that. Keep up the good work, you are quite an inspiration!



Markus said...

If can can dream it, you can do it...and you are on the path to finish IM FL!!! Keep on pushing!!!!